“Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime…”

A while back, I talked about having a A Long-Term View of Student Ministry and focus on the critical areas of ministry that will lead to long-term life change. In ten years from now, what will the faith of our students look like because of what we (and their parents) do today? So often, it’s easy to get caught up with a short-term view that focuses on todays numbers or todays immediate challenges. Here’s the problem: When we live in the short-term, we often shortcut what students really need. Rather than helping them to become self-feeders, they learn to be spoon fed by what we give them in our ministries.

At the beginning of the new year I want to revisit some specific steps I am taking to help students become self-feeders in their faith walk. If I am honest, in the past, I have been too focused on creating an engaging message that will feed my students spiritually, and fail to realize that I am not helping them learn feed themselves. Are we helping students depend so much on our weekly message, yet they spiritually starve the rest of the week? How are we helping them to grow independently from our ministries?

1) Teach Them Self-Feeding Principles: At least once a year, (January or the start of the school year are good times for our ministry), devote a whole series to personal growth. Teach on Bible study, prayer, quiet times, giving, and serving. Feel free to add to this list, but you get the idea. We just began a series called “The Journey” that uses material from LIVE curriculum, (the series is called “Lifelong Faith” under the curriculum, we just created a different series name).

2) Show Them In Our Teaching Times: In our teaching times, we must ensure that we walk through some of the steps we took to gain understanding to a passage or topic. Students need to see that they could quite easily unpack a passage and find application from it. Too often students will not read the Bible when they think only “smart” people can do it. Walk them through the background to the passage, what it meant to the biblical audience, the theological principle, and application for us today. If you have limited knowledge in how to do this, and want to do some self-study, I recommend Grasping God’s Word by Duvall and Hays.

3) Have Them Lead it: In our small group times, instead of a master teacher telling them what the passage says or what they need to know, it’s important to give the ownership and discussion over to the students. Ask questions about a passage instead of making statements. Have key students lead the questions and have them prepare for the study / small group time beforehand. Support them as they lead and give them feedback afterward. This will take more work than if we do it ourselves, but the long-term results are worth it.

5) Give Resources To Continue Self Feeding: Whether it’s a monthly devotion or Bible study resource we give them to take home, it’s imperative we resource them to read God’s Word and pray at home. We use On Track Devotions and our students love them. They are cheap, but well done. Click here for info. 

6) Have Students Share Their Experiences: Anytime we have students share their testimony, we always ask them how they are growing in their faith and what ways they are self-feeding. It’s so important that students get to hear from their peers and what is working for them.

Well, there are some ways I am trying to help my students become self-feeders. How about you? What are you doing to help your students own their faith in greater ways? What is working for you? What tips could you share?

Phil <><

Here’s what I do:

1) Include My Family In My Messages: As much as I can, I try to include stories about my family in my messages. Not only is it a great way for students to get an inside scoop to my family life, it also builds trust and connection with them. It’s so important that my students see me as “human” and someone who has a family and has hopes and dreams for them. When I am talk about my family, I become more vulnerable in front of my students. (This I feel creates greater trust). In addition. when I take time to include my family in my messages, I feel like I am painting a picture of something incredible for my students to look forward to…

2) Include My Family In Ministry: As often as we can, I have my wife and kids stop by our student ministry center (The Warehouse), and check in with me and my students. The girls in my ministry think my kids are cute and the guys laugh at me when I go all “soft” when my kids get there. It’s one of the best feelings when my kids run up and hug me, but I also think it’s helpful for these young adults to see the connection I have with my kids. In addition, my wife, Lisa, helps out with our student leadership program and at our big events.

3) Invite Students Into My Home: This has not been as easy since the birth of our youngest daughter, but is something that we hope to do more. It’s important that students get the inside scoop to my home and family to see how we love and treat each other. It’s also important however, that we set good boundaries on times and days when it is not good to visit too… Sometimes students visit late at night with large amounts of toilet paper and “decorate” our house for us…

4) Teach about Healthy Family: Many students have seen broken families or have been impacted indirectly. I feel it is important to contrast the reality of broken families with God’s Word on families, marriage, and children. Often it’s easy to get caught up with topical issues or the latest happening in youth ministry. However, I think healthy family should be a yearly focus for students…

5) Praise Their Parents: A crucial role to partner with parents and help students to have a healthy view of family is to praise their parents regularly! I feel that a big part of my job as a youth pastor is to help students see the best in their parents and understand how their parents think. Parents are not the enemy, it’s often just the autonomy of students and a disconnect with their parents struggling to let go. Therefore, my job is to praise parents and be a healthy bridge between their kids and understanding each other…

Well that’s all for now. What ways are you helping students have a healthy family focused outlook?

Phil <><

Why all the talk and trending?

This pastor has a book coming out soon and has an accompanying video promo for the book. But, why all the fuss? Well, without reading the book, but watching the video promotion, some prominent church leaders and theologians were quick to attack the theology of this individual… Before we knew it, this guy was a top trending topic as many of us debated, commented, and attacked the theology of the video promo (and probably many of his past best sellers).

Now, let me be clear, I am not here to give an opinion (and I do have an opinion about the matter). However, I want to address the way church leaders went about voicing their disdain. I also want to tie this into our youth ministry world as I think it means everything to understand the ramifications for the future of our students and the church…

1) Is Twitter Really A Place for the Pillars of our Church to Criticize other Church Leaders? Whether we like it or not, this guy is a pastor of a prominent church and still represents the Bride of Christ. Is it right for us to air our “dirty laundry” in public like this? Could there have been a different way? Is it more about “being right” or is more important to protect the Bride of Christ?

2) Being Too Quick to Attack Only Devalues the Message. To be honest, a big part of me was thinking, “come on guys, you have not even read the book and you obviously have an agenda concerning this guy.” Instead of listening to the arguments, I was just ticked that judgments were being made without good explanation… The argument became devalued since their judgment seemed premature…

3) If we have a Problem with False Teaching, isn’t it better to Deal with the False Teaching rather than the Individual? If we genuinely have an issue with someone’s theology, isn’t better to address the error of teaching than attack the individual? Focusing too much on an individual can make a blurry argument. False teachers will come and go, but false teaching itself is our real problem.

4) If we have a Place of Leadership, we must Consider the Ramifications of our Comments. I am deeply concerned by the actions of some prominent figures in the church who I had respected for years. Their place of leadership in the church directs the thoughts and ideas of so many. Instead of following Matthew 18 when dealing with disagreement, their public comments created a frenzy of debates and attacks within the church… Not so good.

So, how does this all relate to Youth Ministry?

1) As Leaders, We Must Consider Our Speech And Actions In Every Domain. Our students are watching us and are following our lead. When they see and hear us gossiping and attacking others in the church, they will likely follow suit. Consider your church today; How many comments and attacks come from grown ups who once were in our youth ministries?

2) We Must Be Careful What We Post. Students, parents, leaders, and friends are watching our tweets and Facebook updates more than we know. Why? They look to us for leadership and direction and want to get the inside track on how to follow Jesus. Nearly every week a parent or student comments to me about something I posted. Therefore, we must consider the implications of every post and comment. If you are like me, I lost a lot of respect for certain church leaders last weekend and it’s vital that our followers do not lose respect for us. More importantly, it means everything that our comments do not take people away from our Savior.

3) As Leaders We Must Teach And Model Healthy Conflict and Disagreement.

Matthew 18 could not be clearer:

“If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses. Matthew 18: 15-16

In our churches and youth ministries we must teach and model healthy conflict. Not only should students see us following Matthew 18, but we should constantly remind them that this is the best option Jesus gives for dealing with disagreements in the church. Too often students learn from the church to gossip, get back, or hold on to hurt. It’s important that students in the teen years are challenged and encouraged to learn God’s way of dealing with conflict.

Finally, how are we doing in this area personally? How are we dealing with conflict in our churches? What areas can you and I work on this week? Let’s be real honest, it’s easy for me point to the twitter debate from the weekend, but it means everything that I examine my own actions above all. We might not post opinions and attack individuals publicly on twitter, but how often are we doing so in our churches?

When all is said and done, where do you hope to see students by the end of high school? What are your priorities for them?

It’s a question that I somewhat answered at the time, but is a question I have been working through ever since (and still am). The funeral of a sixteen year old student and this question from a parent gave me a new perspective on what I do. In some ways, it gave me a new lens to look through in what I do… It has caused me to struggle through the question:

What matters most in my ministry” What priorities are truly going to help students grow and “finish well”?

Or, maybe, frame it this way:

What is most important today that will impact students in the long-term? 

Before I jump into what my priorities are, I must remind myself that I am here to partner with parents, not replace them. They are with their kids much more than I. The more I can come alongside parents in their primary ministry, the greater the impact on their students. It’s easy to place all the burden and focus on our student ministries, when in fact God intends parents to be the primary disciples makers of their kids. However, as I partner with parents and provide the best environments for students to grow, he is my “work in progress” list of priorities I have for students:

1. SELF FEEDERS: Students are equipped to “self-feed” their faith with personal Bible study, prayer, and accountability. I want them to own their faith and have a personal deep faith with their Savior.  It simply is not enough to spoon feed our kids and hope they will survive without owning their own faith through daily habits.
2. COMMUNITY: Where students are connected and learn the importance of staying connected as they grow into adulthood. The more they learn and experience healthy community while at church, the more likely they will search and discover authentic community once they graduate.
3. SERVING & OUTREACH: Students discover their gifts and the fulfilment of serving in church, their communities and on their campuses. If they serve in our ministries and church ministries they further more reason to stay connected to the body once they graduate high school.
4. OWNERSHIP: Students feel they are integral to what is happening on a weekly basis. It’s not a finely oiled adult led student ministry, but an authentic student led ministry where students can be involved and lead what God is doing, (no matter how messy things might get).
5. LEADERSHIP: A place where younger students are served and invested in by older ones. So often, I see older students acting with an “entitlement” mentality towards the younger ones. I firmly believe it’s imperative to create a culture of older students serving younger ones. It is my hope that these students will develop into adults who are here to serve the others, not consume as we see so often in our churches.
6. A DEEP FAITH THAT REACHES OUT: A ministry that is deep and wide where students have depth of love for their savior and the heart and the tools for reaching the lost.
7. FAITH & REASON: Students are challenged to have a grounding in faith and reason for God’s existence. One day they will enter college campuses where they will be challenged with various arguements. It’s imperative that we help students understand science and fact that points towards our God.
8. ME TO WE: Adult leaders (and students) need to know how to accomplish ministry goals even when I am not there.  My goal is to invest, equip, and empower leaders in such as way that they might be tempted to ask the question, “So, what does Phil actually do around here”. I firmly believe that my ministry is more effective and God honoring when it is not focused on me. Too many of us enjoy being the “rock stars” of ministry, but we can easily overshadow Jesus and stifle others ministry opportunities.
9. BELONG TO THE CHURCH: Here’s one that Tim Brown added to the list, (see the comments). “I’ve also seen for those students who are in the area after HS, that sadly they don’t feel that they “belong” to the church the attended during youth group. Though we are a more traditional/blended worship (i.e. Not contemporary or emergent) I believe the fault is that one of our goals was that we didnt aim to incorporate th into the body of adult believers. We let youth group and “church” run parallel, but not connected. Maybe that’s unique in my church because it’s large, but I would add that to the list”.

Well, there’s my “work in progress” list for now… I am adding and tweaking these ideas and goals as I go. I would love to get feedback from you too!

Phil <><

The Big Question: How can I recruit and develop great leaders? 

Of course,it should be a given that it’s about God’s power and providence. There are also many answers to this one question, but I believe and have seen that there is one crucial element and answer that will make the difference between great leaders and average or bad leaders…. Are you ready for it? 

It begins with who you are!

It stands to reason that it’s not a good idea to buy hair products from someone with no hair. It stands to reason that you should not go to a dentist whose has teeth like Austin Powers. It should stand to reason that your leaders and partners in ministry will not partner with you if you are not the real deal. Or, if they do work with, they are likely never to live up to their full potential if you are not living up to it yourself… Here’s how it works: 

If I want my leaders to do the little but hugely important things like phone the kids, or send a postcard in the mail, or take a student out for coffee… it’s important that I take time to call or write… If  I want my leaders to be growing in their faith and always have something to encourage and share with kids, it will depend on how I am doing  in my faithwalk. If I want my leaders to stay cool in high pressure situations, over time it will depend on how I do the same. If I want my leaders to become good listeners for the students, it will depend on how I do the same for them. Bottom line: I can’t expect my leaders to do what I am not doing… My words and training mean little if I am leading by example.  

I meet a lot of frustrated leaders who need volunteers or have volunteers and are frustrated with them. We have to remember that we are all works in progress, and no one changes over night, but over time, our leaders will lead in the way it is modeled for them. It’s painful to admit, but if we can take an honest look at ourselves and allow God to change us, we will have a greater impact when we do the very things that we would like our leaders to do. More people will volunteer and their effectiveness will be greater… so will yours, (and mine). 

You see it’s the idea that leaders will learn leadership better when it is modelled for them. It’s the whole idea that Paul speaks of in 1 Thessalonians chapter 1: 

You know how we lived among you for your sake. You became imitators of us and of the Lord; in spite of severe suffering, you welcomed the message with the joy given by the Holy Spirit. And so you became a model to all the believers in Macedonia and Achaia. The Lord’s message rang out from you not only in Macedonia and Achaia—your faith in God has become known everywhere.

It’s the whole idea that our leaders, our partners in ministry and our student leaders will become (over time and not instantly), what is modelled for them. 

So, what kind of imitators are your leaders becoming? Today, take a look at some areas of your leadership and consider what small and important things you can do to model great leadership. What are some of the things you can care well for your leaders so that they care well for the kids you see every week. What phone calls do you need to make? Who needs a note in the mail? What truth does God want to impress on your heart that you can inspire your leaders with?

What is God saying to you today about who He wants you to become? How will that impact your leaders? How will impact God’s Kingdom?

Phil <><