Here’s what I do:

1) Include My Family In My Messages: As much as I can, I try to include stories about my family in my messages. Not only is it a great way for students to get an inside scoop to my family life, it also builds trust and connection with them. It’s so important that my students see me as “human” and someone who has a family and has hopes and dreams for them. When I am talk about my family, I become more vulnerable in front of my students. (This I feel creates greater trust). In addition. when I take time to include my family in my messages, I feel like I am painting a picture of something incredible for my students to look forward to…

2) Include My Family In Ministry: As often as we can, I have my wife and kids stop by our student ministry center (The Warehouse), and check in with me and my students. The girls in my ministry think my kids are cute and the guys laugh at me when I go all “soft” when my kids get there. It’s one of the best feelings when my kids run up and hug me, but I also think it’s helpful for these young adults to see the connection I have with my kids. In addition, my wife, Lisa, helps out with our student leadership program and at our big events.

3) Invite Students Into My Home: This has not been as easy since the birth of our youngest daughter, but is something that we hope to do more. It’s important that students get the inside scoop to my home and family to see how we love and treat each other. It’s also important however, that we set good boundaries on times and days when it is not good to visit too… Sometimes students visit late at night with large amounts of toilet paper and “decorate” our house for us…

4) Teach about Healthy Family: Many students have seen broken families or have been impacted indirectly. I feel it is important to contrast the reality of broken families with God’s Word on families, marriage, and children. Often it’s easy to get caught up with topical issues or the latest happening in youth ministry. However, I think healthy family should be a yearly focus for students…

5) Praise Their Parents: A crucial role to partner with parents and help students to have a healthy view of family is to praise their parents regularly! I feel that a big part of my job as a youth pastor is to help students see the best in their parents and understand how their parents think. Parents are not the enemy, it’s often just the autonomy of students and a disconnect with their parents struggling to let go. Therefore, my job is to praise parents and be a healthy bridge between their kids and understanding each other…

Well that’s all for now. What ways are you helping students have a healthy family focused outlook?

Phil <><

When all is said and done, where do you hope to see students by the end of high school? What are your priorities for them?

It’s a question that I somewhat answered at the time, but is a question I have been working through ever since (and still am). The funeral of a sixteen year old student and this question from a parent gave me a new perspective on what I do. In some ways, it gave me a new lens to look through in what I do… It has caused me to struggle through the question:

What matters most in my ministry” What priorities are truly going to help students grow and “finish well”?

Or, maybe, frame it this way:

What is most important today that will impact students in the long-term? 

Before I jump into what my priorities are, I must remind myself that I am here to partner with parents, not replace them. They are with their kids much more than I. The more I can come alongside parents in their primary ministry, the greater the impact on their students. It’s easy to place all the burden and focus on our student ministries, when in fact God intends parents to be the primary disciples makers of their kids. However, as I partner with parents and provide the best environments for students to grow, he is my “work in progress” list of priorities I have for students:

1. SELF FEEDERS: Students are equipped to “self-feed” their faith with personal Bible study, prayer, and accountability. I want them to own their faith and have a personal deep faith with their Savior.  It simply is not enough to spoon feed our kids and hope they will survive without owning their own faith through daily habits.
2. COMMUNITY: Where students are connected and learn the importance of staying connected as they grow into adulthood. The more they learn and experience healthy community while at church, the more likely they will search and discover authentic community once they graduate.
3. SERVING & OUTREACH: Students discover their gifts and the fulfilment of serving in church, their communities and on their campuses. If they serve in our ministries and church ministries they further more reason to stay connected to the body once they graduate high school.
4. OWNERSHIP: Students feel they are integral to what is happening on a weekly basis. It’s not a finely oiled adult led student ministry, but an authentic student led ministry where students can be involved and lead what God is doing, (no matter how messy things might get).
5. LEADERSHIP: A place where younger students are served and invested in by older ones. So often, I see older students acting with an “entitlement” mentality towards the younger ones. I firmly believe it’s imperative to create a culture of older students serving younger ones. It is my hope that these students will develop into adults who are here to serve the others, not consume as we see so often in our churches.
6. A DEEP FAITH THAT REACHES OUT: A ministry that is deep and wide where students have depth of love for their savior and the heart and the tools for reaching the lost.
7. FAITH & REASON: Students are challenged to have a grounding in faith and reason for God’s existence. One day they will enter college campuses where they will be challenged with various arguements. It’s imperative that we help students understand science and fact that points towards our God.
8. ME TO WE: Adult leaders (and students) need to know how to accomplish ministry goals even when I am not there.  My goal is to invest, equip, and empower leaders in such as way that they might be tempted to ask the question, “So, what does Phil actually do around here”. I firmly believe that my ministry is more effective and God honoring when it is not focused on me. Too many of us enjoy being the “rock stars” of ministry, but we can easily overshadow Jesus and stifle others ministry opportunities.
9. BELONG TO THE CHURCH: Here’s one that Tim Brown added to the list, (see the comments). “I’ve also seen for those students who are in the area after HS, that sadly they don’t feel that they “belong” to the church the attended during youth group. Though we are a more traditional/blended worship (i.e. Not contemporary or emergent) I believe the fault is that one of our goals was that we didnt aim to incorporate th into the body of adult believers. We let youth group and “church” run parallel, but not connected. Maybe that’s unique in my church because it’s large, but I would add that to the list”.

Well, there’s my “work in progress” list for now… I am adding and tweaking these ideas and goals as I go. I would love to get feedback from you too!

Phil <><

1) Know the Purpose and Target Audience: This  is probably the most important step in planning the event. Who is it for? Is it for students who are not there yet? Is it a connections event to build community? Is it for students to grow deeper? My experience has been that the answer cannot be, “all of them”. The more specific we are, the greater the impact on the target audience you are reaching. A great question that always helps me to better understand the purpose is this:  ”When the event is over, what would we hoped to have seen happen”?

2) Communicate the Purpose and Target Audience: Once you have established the purpose and the target audience, make sure that everyone (and I mean absolutely everone – students, leaders, parents and the pastor), know the purpose. I have been frustrated in the past when planning events and the leaders and students are coming up with great creative ideas, but for a different kind of event. The more we communicate the purpose the greater we can channel creative ideas.

3) Build Ownership into Planning: When students are part of the process at the outset and are part of planning and implementation, the greater the impact of the event.  Although this can be messy and often students drop the ball, it is key to help them to be involved in as many ways as possible. In the past I have designed and implemented the slickest events with a group of youth leaders with low impact. In contrast, I have worked with students (and leaders) to design and implement events with high impact. Bottom line: Students want to see the event succeed if they have ownership of the ideas, creativity and implementation.

4) Keep the Event on the Same Night as Usual: There are two very good reasons I can think of for why this is key: First, it means you are not asking leaders to come out on a different night and therefore it is easier to staff the event. Second, when doing outreach events, it is crucial to allow for a ‘next step’ to the regular program the following week. It’s easier to invite a new student out the following week if it is on the same night.

5) Delegate, Delegate, Delegate: Yeah, yeah. We have heard this a million times. However, how much does this happen? Your ability to be ‘all there’ with students and be connecting with new students. Failure to delegate well will mean that you and I are programming the event more than we are pursuing students.

6) Create a ‘Next Step’: Having a next step as Andy Stanley would say, is creating an “easy, obvious and strategic” step for students to take at the event and / or following the event. A next step might be simply inviting a new student to come back the next week for your regular large group meeting, (this is why having the event on the same night is so important – it is easy, obvious and strategic).

Another next step might be have students sign up to get plugged into a small group at a connections event. If students are  connecting and getting to know each other better, a great next step is to be promoting small groups where they can continue to experience connection.

7) Pray! Finally, but most importantly, make sure that you pray for wisdom, direction and for God to do great things with this event. At the end of day, we are just event planners without God being at the center of what we are doing. Praying prepares our hearts to minister to students with the heart of God as well as preparing the hearts of the students who are coming. In my experience, this step is often the one that gets missed in the clutter of planning. Don’t miss this step!

Hope this helps. I am sure there are more tips you could include. Why don’t you share them with me? I would love to hear from you!

Phil <><

In my post, I mentioned one of my leaders ‘Sara’ who speaks regularly in our large group environments. Not only is Sara a great communicator, she is an authentic and effective youth leader who has been ministering to teens for nearly a decade now. However, she is a full time mom and wife, and has her own speaking and prayer ministry that keeps her very busy. Yesterday Sara commented to my post and gave her perspective of why planning well in advance is helpful to her as a volunteer.

PLEASE NOTE: I hesitated to post this since I did not want anyone to think I am giving myself a high five for what I do. I felt it is important for all of us who are in the trenches full time to consider the ripple effect we have on volunteers and their effectiveness when we plan well…

One of Phil’s greatest assets as a leader is his dedication and determination to plan in advance with an openness to have to change or fly by the seat of his pants if needed. As a volunteer, I cannot tell you what a blessing this is! I am not constantly given last minute projects, spontaneous times to teach, whirlwind ideas and unnecessary crises that could have been avoided if there was good advanced planning. In Youth ministry and in any ministry frankly, we have to throw down often enough for crises, last minute emergencies or changes and there are always fun, spontaneous moments. But, to be following a leader who doesn’t plan in advance eventually becomes draining, exhausting, frustrating and frankly a complete drag since their last minute plans now become your problem when everyone is expected to drop everything in their life to make it happen. People and families get burnt. Phil leads a great example in this area and guess what one of his biggest problems is? He has more leaders than he needs! People are drawn to those who are respectful of their time, talents and families!