youthwork TALKTalk about youth ministry and life…

Do you ever feel like you are constantly digging to find new ways to connect with students or find ways to get them on board with a message idea? Do you ever wonder if they are connecting with a youth leader who might seem ancient to them? (That’s you and me by the way). I think we all feel like that at times! I think to some degree there is some truth to the ancient feeling. However, in the next couple of days, I want to talk about some helpful ways that I have been learning to overcome this problem. Today, I want to talk about the best kind of message preparation you and can make… but first: 

The Reality

If we are out of college and over the age of 22, I believe that many students will look at us as being ‘out of touch’ with them and their peers. Perhaps they feel like we do not  understand their issues? However, I also hold fast to the truth that students will let you into their lives when they see a consistent love and care for them. When we speak, the best hours of preperation may not be in the message material itself, I believe it is the preparation we do when we invest in getting to know students and their lives…

When we stand in front of them, they will subconsciously know if you and I understand them well enough to address the issues in their lives. Because of this fact, we cannot short cut our relational time with them. If you have read ‘Hurt’ by Chap Clark, he speaks about the research he did at a school where he would sit and observe (and listen) to students. He found that students have their own world that adults are not party to. As he spent time and ’sat at the steps’ of their world he slowly began to have conversations with them and discover a clearer picture of their inner teenage world. It took time…

In a similar way, as youthworkers, we need to sit at their steps and listen and learn. When students know that we understand their issues and that we care about them, they are more likely to listen to the truth that they desperately need to hear. 

Sometimes we think we need to put more hours into making our message ‘dyanamic’ and ‘catchy’, where in fact, we need to do our message prep by spending more time with our audience. We need to spend more time being their audience. We need to tune into their world and let them know we are following their story. Maybe then, they will tune into God’s truth that you and I deliver? 

Three Things I do to help me ‘Sit on the Steps of their World’ 

1) Ask Good Questions: I am always asking questions about them, their week, their friends and their opinions on events. I often use the phrase, “help me understand this..”, (even when I think I already do). I also use phrases like, “what do you think adults misunderstand about you guys”?  I find that so many adults want to tell kids what they need to know before they ask what they need to know… get it? 

2) Get into their World: As a youthworker we should all be reading and understanding the latest trends etc.  Walt Mueller at CPYU has a lot of great articles and updates that I find very helpful. I also try to watch what students are watching on TV and surf where they surf online too. This is helpful. However, I find that getting into their world happens best if I show up to their world. Planning a lunch, going to a game or school play sends a powerful message to the students we are trying to reach, but it is also a great opportunity to learn about students in their world. 

3) Meet with Them: No matter how big our ministry has become, I always maintain how important it is that the lead youthworker still meets with students regularly. When we do this, we send the message to students and their friends, that we care enough to meet with them. When I meet with them, I always ask them honestly, “how is our student ministry helping you?” I am often suprised, encouraged and challenged by the authentic responses I get at these times… Sometimes they give me my best message content…

My church began just over 5 years ago with 30 people in a backyard of my pastors house. Since then we have met at 4 different locations (one house and 3 schools), as we have seen good growth occur. The student ministry program too has met in 3 different locations (houses and rented facilities), and has had to ’set up’ and ‘tear down’ every week just like ‘big church’ does. In March, all that changes for us… 

That’s when we get to move into a renovated office/warehouse building that will become our permanent home for church and student ministry. We never originally thought that we would buy and renovate so soon, but, being in Southeast Michigan we have seen many businesses move away and this facility was a great opportunity for us…

As we build and renovate this facility I have learned that 5 years of not having a full-time facility has allowed us to focus more on the people and less on a building. Sure, we have a place to meet and we have to set up and tear down every week, but the reality is that we cannot keep up with some of the amazing things that other churches do. Instead we have been forced to think and act simply. The results are: strong relationships with students, healthy growth in depth and numbers, and many many students who have been recruited to do ministry in a church plant situation. 

Someone once said, (I don’t have much of brain to remember who), that planting a church is like trying to build an airplane as it is rolling down the runway for take-off. I think that is a good analogy! Can you visualize what that might look like? I can right now… a bunch of guys and gals frantically working to put the pieces together that will ensure a safe takeoff… Can you imagine the urgency on their faces as they bolt things together?  

But here’s my question: 

What are their priorities to get done first? 

The most important things? 

Do you think they worry about the video system in the plane, or the comfort of the seats, or the color of the interior? Nope… They are concerned with getting the plane to take-off safely, (and of course), land safely too )

Being in a church plant has forced me to consider what matters most as I partner with great leaders to build a ministry. But it hasn’t always been this way… If you are like me, I have ministered at churches where I have got hung up on stuff that was not so important. Stuff that could best be described as ‘youth ministry fluff’. I have to confess that I have often spent too much time comparing my youth room with another church, or wishing I had more stuff or better space etc… Are you like me? Come on… let’s be honest )

In my time here so far, I have been blessed to see that ’stuff’ and ‘facilities’ only go so far to reaching and keeping students coming. What they desire (and need), goes so much deeper. I am so thankful for learning this lesson, and it is my goal to keep reminding myself of this as we move in March. 

I hope this is an encouragement to you as you reach and equip students. I hope you can relax and invest in what matters most and build a solid foundation wherever you are.