youthwork talk

Leaving Ministry Without Losing Your Heart: Part 2

March 4, 2012 in Conferences, healthy ministry, Leadership with 0 Comments

Myself, Darren, Leneita and John are at The Simply Youth Ministry Conference in Louisville, KY. This post is part two and is focused on a peer panel I am leading at SYMC.

In my previous post I talked about the importance of learning certain lessons as we leave a ministry. In particular, it’s paramount that when a ministry comes to a challenging end that we commit to finish well as well as protect the Bride of Christ from hurt and pain. Today, I want to continue to look at some of the lessons I have learned when leaving a ministry. Here’s the rest of my list:

5) Reflect Upon Lessons You Need To Learn. This is a hard one indeed. It’s not always easy to reflect at the time, but it’s imperative that we take an honest look at what we could learn and what we need to ‘own’ as we leave. It’s hard to admit, but I have played the victim card too much in the past. How about you? Yes, there are things that have happened in your ministry that have hurt you, but what could you have done differently? Who knows you well enough to be honest with you in this area? Unfortunately, as I come to youth ministry conferences, I often only hear one side of the challenges in ministry… There is always two sides however. What side do you need to own?

6) Forgive and Be Forgiven If Needed. This should be a given, but I know that it is easier said than done. Who are the people who you need to say sorry to? Who do you need to forgive in order to walk away without the seeds of bitterness growing? Continue Reading…

Leaving Ministry Without Losing Your Heart: Part 1

March 3, 2012 in Conferences, healthy ministry, Leadership with 0 Comments

This weekend Leneita, John, Darren, and myself are at The Simply Youth Ministry Conference in Louisville, KY. Leneita, John and Darren are heading up a stack-load of workshops and peer panels. I will be leading a couple of peer panels too. One of the peer panels I am leading is, “How To Leave Ministry Without Losing Your Heart.”

I am sad to say that I know many people in the last year who had to leave or have been forced to leave their ministry. I’m sad by it, since I know the pain that these people, (and their churches), have had to walk through. Being in youth ministry means that we become deeply invested in the people we minister to, and it’s always painful when we have to leave. When we leave situations where there is a challenging ending, it only goes to amplify the hurt and pain we feel already…

I wish I could say I have left previous ministries well… But that is not the case. However, there have been some powerful and painful lessons I have learned along the way that I would like to share. I hope these lessons will help youth workers consider how to leave well when the time comes. I am very thankful to have learned these lessons and I grateful for an incredible church family that I am blessed to be a part of today. If you are struggling today, know that there is hope for tomorrow…

1) Dig Deeper Into Quiet Times. Whether it is a good ministry ending or a painfully forced one, it’s imperative that we look to cling to God and dig deeper for his comfort and wisdom. In the past I have made the mistake of allowing my pain and hurt to spew over onto to anyone who would listen to me. While it was good to get things off my chest, it was not helpful for the healing process for myself and those around me. It’s during these times that we cling to God to give us comfort, humility, grace, and healing. Continue Reading…

How To Answer Teenagers Tough Questions

March 2, 2012 in Resources, Volunteers with 0 Comments

This week I announced a new book that I have written in collaboration with some brilliant minds in youth ministry. Answers To Teenagers’ 50 Toughest Questions is a rapid fire response manual for youth workers who are in need of solid biblical answer to present students.

When I began the project, I surveyed hundreds of youth workers all over the country and gathered over 250 common questions that they have been asked or have struggled to answer. From that list we got down to the top 50 most challenging questions. Since we couldn’t cover every tough question out there, it’s important to realize that there is a healthy process to learn when it comes to answering challenging questions. There are many challenging questions that students ask us, but there is a healthy process that every youth worker can walk through when helping their students:

YOU DON’T NEED TO KNOW IT ALL: It’s OK to admit to students that you need time to research or pray through an answer. Students don’t expect you to know everything, so don’t expect this for yourself!

WORK THROUGH THE ANSWER WITH YOUR STUDENT: Give them some of the “work” and help them own the answer more effectively. When students go through a process of digging for the answer, it will more likely stick with them. Continue Reading…

NEW BOOK: Two Sides

March 1, 2012 in Book Review, Resources with 0 Comments

In the previous two posts, Phil and Leneita shared about two new books under the Every Day Youth Ministry Series by Simply Youth Ministry. Today I am excited to share a my new book written to help youth workers discover their own personal youth ministry philosophies. Here’s a snapshot:

Have you guys wandered those ‘gray’ areas of youth ministry? You know – “How involved should I let my own kids be in the student ministry?” “What do I do over the summer – program or respite?” “Should I combine or separate my junior high and senior high kids?”

I gathered ten of my youth ministry friends and we created a guide to navigating some of the more common gray areas of youth ministry. Each one of us ‘took a side’ – talked about why we prescribe to that particular philosophy – and then gave you some ‘food for thought’ questions as a landing pad for developing your own philosophy.

This resource is written by ‘in-the-trenches-living-youth-ministry-day-to-day’ people. So it’s practical – and it’s time-tested. And the great thing is – GRAY NO LONGER! Regardless of where you land, 2 Sides to Youth Ministry can serve as the runway lights as you touch down somewhere.

So pick up a copy for an easy, practical read– hand copies out to people on your youth ministry team and wrestle through some of the questions together – provide one for your pastor to help explain where you’re going and why you’re going there! It’s an inexpensive answer to some of those nagging questions you’ve always grappled with in youth ministry – and you get to customize it for your context using wisdom of seasoned youth workers.

(Click here to buy)

Darren

NEW BOOK: No Teenager Left Behind

February 29, 2012 in Book Review, Resources with 0 Comments

This week we are excited to announce 3 books by Darren Sutton, Phil Bell, and myself that have been published as part of the Every Day Youth Ministry Series by Simply Youth Ministry. Here’s a snapshot of the book:

No one ever said ministering to teenagers was easy. (Actually, one person did say that—but he didn’t last long.) But working with certain teenagers seems especially challenging, difficult, stressful.

How can you best connect with defiant, clingy, or complacent students? How do you build bridges to unchurched, hurting, or socially awkward teenagers? Drawing on two decades of youth ministry experience, Leneita Fix offers practical insights and strategies on effectively connecting with 10 groups of teenagers that we can overlook, ignore, or avoid all too easily.

In No Teenager Left Behind, Fix paints a picture of students who can fall through the cracks of our youth ministries, a picture rooted in her own teenage struggle with insecurities and doubt and low self-esteem. These are the students that we pretend we are too busy for. They’re the ones that are lost and we feel totally unqualified to reach.

But what they need is to be loved. Instead of avoiding these teenagers, we can see them as Jesus sees each of them—and each of us. And we can commit to the vision of leaving no teenager behind as we minister to this generation.

(Click here to purchase)

Leneita

NEW BOOK: Answers to Teenagers’ 50 Toughest Questions

February 28, 2012 in Book Review, Resources with 3 Comments

This week I am excited to announce three new books by 3 of us here at youthworktalk.com. As a part of Simply Youth Ministry’s brand new Every Day Youth Ministry series, Leneita Fix, Darren Sutton, and myself are excited to see three highly practical youth ministry books get in the hands of youth workers. In the next few days, we’ll tell you a little about each of the books.

For now, here’s a snapshot of Answers to Teenagers’ 50 Toughest Questions

Teenagers are hungry for solid answers to the relentless questions gnawing at their hearts and minds. They’re yearning for help, hope, and healing that are founded in truth—and youth workers are the ideal people for delivering those answers!

If you’ve ever felt unprepared when students want to talk about tough topics, then this is the book for you. Answers to Teenagers’ 50 Toughest Questions will equip you with biblical, practical, specific responses to the thorniest questions students may toss your way.

Written collaboratively by a diverse team of youth workers, this book examines tough questions from six different areas:

• Faith Basics

• Faith Struggles

• Discipleship and Evangelism

• Life Choices

• Family and Friends

• Dating and Sex

For each question, you’ll find a biblically based response, along with next-step ideas that will engage students in conversation and exploration. And for most of the topics, we’ve provided a list of recommended readings and resources to aid their investigation.

This is a perfect equipping resource for any youth worker—whether you’re a youth pastor, a small group leader, or simply an adult who loves teenagers and wants to see them pursue Jesus-centered lives.

Click here to purchase a copy.

Phil <><

5 Reasons I am Looking Forward To The Simply Youth Ministry Conference

February 27, 2012 in Conferences with 4 Comments

This weekend I join 3000 youth workers along with Darren Sutton, John Fix and Leneita Fix, (contributors here at youthworktalk). I am excited about this conference for many reasons, but here are a my top five:

1) It’s For Youth Workers, By Youth Workers: This conference is designed and implemented by in the trenches youth workers who understand youth ministry and what youth workers need. Not only do these guys and gals love this conference, they absolutely love the people that come there! Many feel like this conference is “home” to them. (For most people, calling a youth ministry conference “home” might sound weird, but at #SYMC it really does feel that way). As someone who is on the inside track to this conference, I can tell you these people are as authentic as you can get!

2) It’s A Time To Breathe: This years theme is breathe. So often youth ministry can catch up with you. What started off as blessing can sometimes feel like a curse if we don’t take care of our souls. This year I am excited to be a part of a conference where I can breathe in and recharge.

3) They Have A Shelter: My good friend Len and his SYM Soul Care Team are providing a safe place for youth workers to get free, confidential pastoral support when they need it. It’s like “urgent care” for a youth worker’s heart & soul!

4) There’s Over 200 Learning Opportunities: Here’s what they say on their site: You’ll get 2-3 times the amount of content and options to choose from than other training events—with more time for depth and discussion and more practical solutions to your ministry needs. From peer panels to workshops, from “half-tracks” to “deep learning tracks,” there are a gazillion learning options there!

5) I Get To Bring Some Of My Volunteers: I super excited to bring some incredible volunteers who I have the privilege of doing ministry with. They are an incredible group and I can’t wait to hear their stories and process all that they are going to learn. This conference is a place for the volunteer, the rookie, and the veteran who all have one purpose: To love God and love students!

If you are going to SYMC, leave me a comment or send me a tweet @PhilBell

Phil <><

Gaining Healthy Respect & Influence In Youth Ministry: Parents

February 21, 2012 in Balance, Leadership with 4 Comments

Gaining healthy respect and influence in youth ministry can sometimes be challenging. Many youth workers are young and often feel like people see them as “the young kid.” Even veteran youth workers feel like the title of “youth worker” devalues their influence. It’s true, we do face stigmas and inaccurate perceptions. However, it doesn’t mean that we cannot gain the respect and influence that will help us build strong youth ministries…

Today, I want to encourage you to consider how you can gain healthy respect and influence with the parents in our ministries. As many of you know, having parents “on our side” can make or break the success of our ministries. Below are three things that when consistently worked on, will help us gain healthy respect and influence with parents in my ministry.

1) Set An Example And Stay The Course: This is perhaps the most effective way of gaining healthy respect and influence with any group of people in our church. Parents entrust their kids to us on a daily basis and it’s important that they see someone who is setting a consistent Godly example. It’s easy to get frustrated when people don’t give us time of day, but it’s also important to realize that trust takes time to build. Being a solid and consistent example will bear much fruit in time… Getting frustrated and defensive with parents will only go to confirm any negative ideas they might already have about youth workers… Set an example and stay the course… Continue Reading…

What Does Successful Look Like?

February 20, 2012 in healthy ministry, Leadership with 0 Comments

Ok, so I am a zealot. I admit it. I need every activity I do with kids to have a purpose or a point. No one has ever accused me of being the fun youth guy, especially not the youth. Oh, I have drunk the raw eggs and thrown everyone’s shoes in the middle of the room, but not without a well communicated message about God’s unique plan or the dangers of food poisoning. It is a character flaw really.

However, there is a method to my madness. I always want my lessons/programs/activities to be a piece of a bigger puzzle. And what is that puzzle? It is the picture of what I want my youth to look like after having been in my program. To steal a cliché, “I begin with the end in mind”.

When is the last time you have asked yourself what type of youth you are trying to produce, and then purposely come up with a plan or a program to grow them in that direction? If it has been a while I think it is well worth your effort to think about the following questions:

What do I hope a child looks like after being in my program for 4-7 years?
What qualities do they exhibit?
What kind of Christian will they be?
Will they be leaders?
Do they have a heart for discipleship or are they evangelists?

These are just a few ideas. What other questions would help you picture your kids in the future?

John

Darren’s List: 5 Things I Pray At Every Youth Program

February 16, 2012 in Review what we do with 1 Comment

In Phil’s previous post, he outlined his 5 things he prays at every youth program. Well, here’s Darren’s quick list…

Maybe you can identify with some or all of them? What would you add to this list? What do you regularly pray for at your youth programs?

1. Please don’t let anyone spill their soda on the sanctuary carpet.
2. Please don’t let anyone’s cell phone go off during my message – and if it does, help me not to lose my train of thought.
3. Please let everyone bring their deposits on time.
4. Please don’t let the senior pastor come in here.
5. Please let me survive this night to fight another day.

Go ahead and comment. What would you add to your prayer list?

P.S – This isn’t Darren’s “serious prayer” list, it’s more for fun… well, mostly.

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