youthwork TALKTalk about youth ministry and life…

A few weeks ago my wife and I were at the National Youth Ministry Conference in Columbus Ohio. While I was there, I got the opportunity to ‘hijack’ Tim Schmoyer’s Life In Student Ministry camera… Me and my new buddy ‘Julio’ decided to talk about how we love our wives well in Ministry. Check it out and watch for the out takes at the end… funny stuff. 

Tim Schmoyer hosts a GREAT blog! He has great insights and has lots of resources, tips, video blogs, and hosts a weekly Youth Ministry phone in… check it out!

CLICK HERE FOR THE VIDEO BLOG

You have likely heard that you can’t do effective ministry as a lone ranger. I feel that it is a given that we should do our best to recruit Godly adults who love God and love students. But, getting leaders is not always easy no matter how long you have been in ministry. However, over the years I have adopted some strategies that work for me and make the process much easier in the long run. 

Here’s what I do: 
1) Pray – I know, I know, too simple, but let’s be honest, do we ask God to send them or do we try to search for them? There’s a difference. 

2) Recruit Now: It’s March and I am recruiting now for the Fall. Why? People tend to have a ministry ‘mindset’ now rather than in the late spring or summer. Also, I find that many need to make way for ministry in their schedules. Planting seeds or asking now, helps them to clear time and also have plenty of time to consider and sit on the idea. 

3) Ask Existing Leaders: Every leader that commits to a year of youth ministry with me agrees to be proactive in recruiting others for ministry.  The great advantage for leaders who have been in the trenches is that they can identify good leaders who will fit our chemistry better too. Currently, approximately half of my leaders I have come from other leaders who helped me recruit. Howard was a guy I personally recruited since he came on a retreat once with me and I saw great potential in him. His first response was: Are you sure I am the guy you are looking for? Since then, Howard has been a faithful and great youth leader… However, here’s how he’s impacting recruiting leaders: In the last two months there are three guys who Howard has personally talked to who have come to me. 

4) Ask Students: Have you seen the movie ‘Mr Deeds’? Have you seen the clip where ‘Emilio’, his trusty valet, exclaims, I am very crafty sir… This is what you become when you ask students to help you recruit leaders. I have found that some of my best leaders did not even consider being a youth leader unless a students asked them. Even if I, you paid youth guy was to ask them, they would likely still say no. However, I often give my students a healthy framework to work within, and ask them, so, who do you think would make an awesome leader? Next is the really crafty, but of course, ‘affirming’ part: I have students ask the leader. Most times, it is a question of potential volunteers needing to students to believe in them… 

5)  Vision Casting: People come for a vision not a need. Telling people how God is amazing in bringing so many new students into the ministry is a good start. People want to be a part of a winning team, not part of a team that regularly makes announcements in the bulletin. I try to use as many conversational and ‘up front’ opportunities to talk about the great things God is doing in the life of students. My common line is: If God keeps doing what He is doing, I am going to have to ask Him to send me more youth leaders… do you know any?

6) Ask Personally: Again, this might not sound like rocket science, but I have to ensure that this is on my radar constantly. As I pray for God to send people, am I looking out for them? I am asking them personally? Do they know that I have noticed their potential? As mentioned, Howard was one of those guys. He loves to share the story with other potential volunteers and let them know that they might be sure about it all, but once they get plugged in, they will love doing youth ministry… 

What do you do? How are you doing getting leaders? What is one idea you could try to recruit youth leaders? 

Phil <><

Do you have those weeks where you put in a whole bunch of ‘extra’ hours in ministry? Let’s face it, what is ‘extra’? The fact is that there is always more to do. More emails, more calls, more meetings, more planning, more messages to write, etc. 

Here’s how I define ‘extra’ in my life: 

Extra for me is when I can see that my walk with God and my time with family has been stretched through the week. Extra is when I know I did not see my wife and little girl for more than a few  hours each day for a two of three days in a row. For me that is how I gauge ‘extra’. I believe that there will always be more to do and my list can become endless if I am not careful. Whether you are single, married or your kids are out of the nest, you need to define for yourself what ‘extra’ looks like. 

‘Extra’ over time becomes ‘extreme’. In other words, it’s ok to have those seasons where it is busy and there are maybe some big events and trips to work on. However, extra become extreme when our times with God and family are stretched over a few weeks or months. When the extra times turn into the extreme, we spend less time with God and more time managing on our own strength. When extra turns into the extreme we spend less time with family and friends and the ones we love feel cheated by ministry. This is why I try to ‘buy back’ these times. 

For me, buying back time is about recognizing these seasons and embracing the busyness with a plan to spend good time with God and the family within that season. For example, I am in one of those seasons now. We are recruiting a new wave of volunteers and we are about to move into a new facility and change things up quite a bit. Therefore, after my last meeting at noon today, I intend to buy back time from my loaded schedule this week. 

What does this look like? Simply put, it is about being intentional to spend time with God and my family this afternoon and this evening. I was intentional about blocking time out this week to do so. I have nothing planned for Saturday and my whole day is centered around time with the family. 

This might not sound like rocket science, but I know how easy it is to justify working the whole day today and doing some more admin on Saturday morning. However, for me, it takes discipline to block out my schedule to ‘buy back’ what God and my family has ‘lost’ this week? 

On a final note: Does this mean that I completely neglected God and my family this week? Nope… just been a little busier doing the ‘extra’ stuff and I want to make sure that the extra stuff over time does not become the ‘extreme’…

How do you buy back time in your schedule? 

Phil <><

I just got back from NYMC conference on Monday feeling refreshed and very inspired by what I learned and experienced. If you are like me, it’s hard to get away for conferences, vacations, etc, because in the back of my mind I am always wondering what I will be missing and coming back to.

Fortunately, I have some great volunteers who have been partnering with me in ministry for a while now, so I  don’t usually come back to a catastrophe. However, no matter how much I  get done before I leave, there are always emails, voicemail, new tasks and the ‘usual’ week to get back to. For me, all the catch up can make for a ‘messy’ week and it is easy to lose focus in the midst of it all. At these times, it’s easy to get swallowed up by the latest email, or the ‘urgent’ voicemails people have left me… 

So what do I try to do? Here’s what I have learned over the years: 

1) Embrace this Reality: That given a couple of weeks, (or less), you will be caught up. It’s path of the course. It helps to realise that the pressure I feel today with all the added admin and volume of voicemail will only be for a while… It helps because if we do not relax with the idea that we will naturally catch up, we will think we have to pour our energies into these items today. (Note: we need to also embrace the reality that admin is a part of ministry, and will always be there. Therefore, when I say we will be ‘caught up’ I don’t mean it’s ALL done)…

2) Commit to Quiet Times: Everyone in the world might think that their voicemail is the most important, or that their email needs urgent attention, or the plan that has been on their mind for the last 5 days should have been on your radar during that time too. AND, if I we are honest,  we have our own agendas and lists too, don’t we! This is why we cannot short cut our quiet times. For me, even if I am not getting the deepest Bible study accomplished I cannot short cut my quiet time. Instead of being led by the stress and schedule, I try to seek God out of silence and solitude. 

3) Commit to Contact Time: No matter how busy I get, I always maintain certain ‘blocks’ of time for contact with students and my leaders. Busyness is the enemy of relationships and I must make sure that I have certain default times to get together with the people I am ministering to. For myself personally, I have had periods in the past where I have gone weeks without good connection outside of our programs all because I was consumed with admin and organization. In the short term I get stuff done, but in the longer term I am ineffective due to a distance people feel. I must connect in community because students and leaders will follow someone who knows them… Not someone gets stuff done… 

How do you prioritize when you are busy? What defaults do you have set in place? What areas do you struggle to keep focused on?

Here’s another video from National Youth Ministry Conference.  Just goes to show that us youthworkers can be creative!

Check out this video that Josh Griffin just posted over morethandodgeball.com - It is hilarious and captures what youth ministry is often about!!! I will post another one tomorrow… Stay tuned!  Thanks to the guys over at Group and Simply youth ministry we had an incredibly deep and amazingly fun time. This conference keeps me going strong in ministry. Check it out for yourself next year: The Simply Youth Ministry CONFERENCE 2010

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This blog is titled “Conversation from MY Couch” for two reasons: First, one of the taglines I have heard for NYMC is “Conversations from the Couch”, with the idea being that the conference is conversational and connectional. Second, I had to call it “Convesration from MY Couch” since I am now home from the conference. (Myself and Lisa came back early to pick up the little one from Lisa’s parents – I was bummed to leave, but excited to see our little girl). 

Here’s why I loved the conference: 

Authentic and Connectional: Thanks to all the guys and gals at Group/Simplyyouthministry.com  I had an awesome conference. I have to say, it was my most impactful conference yet! The atomasphere there is personal and connectional and it feels like you are there to hang out and grow with friends. There is no ‘them and us’ with the speakers, and for the most part you get a chance to interact with them and ask lots questions. Other conferences seem a little impersonal these days… Simple ideas like the ’sack chairs’ all over the place for people to hang out and talk and take time to dig deeper. The affinity groups are not just a good idea, but I saw guys and gals talking and discovering answers together in real authentic community. The final thing that made this conference very connectional and conversational was the way in which they did the ‘brown bag’ workshops. Many of these happened during the lunch time and were set up in relaxed discussion format with lots of interaction from everyone. 

Deep: I spent 8 hours (in two days) in a deep learning track with Dan Webster from Authentic Leadership Inc. The track was called: ‘The Path to Long-Term Youth Ministry’. The content was not only insightful, it was transformational. Sometimes, us youthworkers spend a lot of time working on our skills and tools of youth ministry yet fail to realize that our heart and soul are so inextricably linked to our success as youthworkers. This track helped individuals to see how our effectiveness and longevity requires us to understand the patterns of leadership, (and what to expect), while also being able to take an honest and introspective assessment of who we are and what makes us tick. If we are honest with ourselves and God, so much of what we do can come from negative influences ‘below the surface’ of our lives. Whether it is past hurts, insecurity, a moral struggle, or a dry walk with God, it is these things that will often alter the direction of our ministry effectiveness. Dan Webster took us on an effective journey of personal introspection, but also a journey of hope, healing, and excitement for future. Awesome stuff. 

Fun: As I would have hoped, there were a lot of elements of fun to be able to relax and forget about ministry too. From the hilarious ‘music videos’ to the crazy and funny ‘video announcements’, they really captured the wacky minds of youthworkers. Take a look below to see a copy of examples…

All in all, a great conference. It gets an ‘A’ from me and I plan on attending next year. Thanks Group and SYM!

Here’s a flavor of what NYMC is about. I met Tim from Canton, North Carolina today in my track. This is what he just loves about the conference:

Arrived this afternoon at NYMC in Columbus! It’s great to be here and I feel the excitement around me from other youth workers. The guys from Group do a great job in welcoming you like you are a long-time friend! Thanks Group people!

The conference center here is great, not too big and not too spread out. It FEELS connectional and not impersonal. Word is that there are 1800 youthworkers here this weekend. AWESOME!

I heard there is an Irish pub across the close to here that serves a killer fish n’ chips! I hope to give a food review in a later blog. For now, my lovely wife Lisa is out shopping and discovering Columbus while I connect with other youthworkers. That’s what I love to do! It’s awesome to be able to talk, encourage and hear what God is doing in other places around the country! It’s great to be able to share joys and struggles with guys and gals who get it.

Affinity Groups: One of the exciting things that I have seen here last year is the Affinity groups. The goal is that you can connect with a group of people for the weekend who you have, ‘affinity’ with. Example, ‘Small Youth Ministries’ , ‘40 and over in Ministry’, ‘Senior High’,’ Middle School’,’ Working with difficult leaders’ ‘PDYM’, and so on…. The goal is that we connect with a group in an area or topic of ministry that we would like help or encouragement in.

That’s all for now. I am excited to get to the general session in a few hours.

A couple of days ago I blogged about the challenge to get students on board with a message idea. For many of us over 22 and out of college will find that students see us as being old and ‘out of touch’. However, when we ’sit at the steps of their world’, we will find that our ability to connect increases.  Today I want to quickly look at an effective way to connect with students in our messages. This is nothing brand new or out of this world, but this principle is easy to forget and overlook… How can you and I can help students find life in THEIR stories…

When we sit at the steps of their world and discover who are they, we are taking time to discover their stories. In other words, we are discovering a small part of their ongoing testimony. It is these stories that can often be used powerfully to share how God is working and has worked in their lives. Often we spend hours trying to figure out how to connect with students, when in fact, the quickest (and sometimes best) ways are to have students share their story…

Last Sunday, I saw the power and impact by applying this principle to my high school ministry program. One of my seniors shared her story of how God brought healing to her life after a challenging time. I gave her ‘interview questions’ and walked through the questions a week before. The interview took about 20 minutes in total, and I sandwiched it with two verses from 2 Corinthians. It was very simple, but very powerful. Perhaps more powerful than a message I could have given… The feedback I received from my small group leaders afterward was very good. They shared how impacted and connected students were… It was a good lesson to see that students find life in stories… THEIR stories!

This is not something we do every week, but I think that every other series we do, should have a life story included. Try and see how it works for you?