youthwork TALKTalk about youth ministry and life…

Last night I met with a group of my high school students at the local Panera Bread to hang-out, talk, and…. listen.

If you are like me, it’s so easy to get bogged down with planning, message writing, and meetings. It’s easy to become task driven and focus less on just ‘being’ with students. Last night I was truly blessed to be around a group of students who are excited about God, are excited to see their friends being reached, and excited about growing deeper in their faith. Last night was a time to listen to their hearts, their ideas and their hopes. Here’s what was impressed upon my heart from our time together…

1) We Discover the Real Issues Students Face:

Students foundational adolescent issues tend to not change too much in that they still desire Identity, Autonomy and Affinity. (Marko in Youth Ministry 3.0). However, when as, Chap Clark puts it, we “sit on the steps” that lead up to student culture, we get great insights to students current issues and needs. Last night was one of those nights for me as I discovered so many things that I was unaware of or had not considered. As I look forward with my teaching, planning and implementation, I am able to focus my energies to support students in areas that they truly need .

2) We move from Colonialism to being  a Missionary:

In his book Youth Ministry 3.0, Mark Oestreicher talks about the importance of seeing ourselves as a missionary. In other words, seeing ourselves as someone who is foreign to a culture and comes in and listens to the locals and understands them first. Coming from England, I am all too aware of British colonialism in the world where the Brits went in to foreign lands and insisted that the locals follow the British customs and cultural nuances. What happened? The Brits got kicked out! Now, I hope you and I don’t get kicked out of our churches or ministries, but it’s important to consider if we are only imparting our own set of agendas and ideas on students. Are we ‘colonizing’ or being a missionary to these students.

Now bear with me for a minute as I say this. I am aware that there are many things that students do not yet see in their lives that are imperative to know and live by. I am aware that students ‘felt needs’ are not always what they really do need… However, they are less likely to listen to us unless they know that we have taken time to listen to them first…

3) We give Ownership to Students:

This was huge for me last night. As I sat and listened to students talk about what they are seeing in our ministry and what they are excited about, they were owning the ministry with their words and their plans for the future. As they talked, they got lit up with ideas and dreams -  they began to take ownership. When students can put the ministry vision into their own words, it is better that a well-crafted vision statement in any student ministry.

4) We Hear Honesty

“Phil, you give great messages, but when one of us can back up what you are saying and can be involved in your message, it has a greater impact”. That was my takeaway last night, among other things. It can be hard to hear that kind of stuff can’t it? But, when we listen long enough, students can feel like they can communicate their true thoughts with you. Ultimately, it will lead to creating a better and more effective ministry. My ego might take a hit, but who is more important here?

5) We Send the most Important Message:

I think the most important factor for me was that they heard the most important message last night. “I care about you guys. You are important and you can make a huge difference”. I didn’t say it with words, I communicated it through listening…In coming weeks, when you and I stand in front of students with a message or study for them, I am convinced they will hear better when they know that we care deeply and have their best interests at heart.

So this next few weeks, I encourage you to hang out, have fun…. and listen.

Hi Everyone, it’s been a while since I posted anything if you follow youthworktalk regularly. I do apologize for my lack of words in recent weeks.

I have unofficially been taking the end of the summer to spend some extra time with the family and get used to being a dad to number two (Addie, born on July 7th – I was afraid this Englishman would have to deal with one of his kids being born on that rebellious day, also know as July 4th – just kidding).

In addition to having a newborn in the Bell household, it has been a challenging season in many other ways. It has been good to be at home and take time to catch up and rest up at times. However, here we are well into September and the Fall is truly underway with a yearly tradition for me and some friends:

Every year, the pastors from our church are invited out for a free day of golf that is put on by a local funeral home as a way to support pastors and give them a fun day as the Fall gets kicked off. In fact, one of the directors from the funeral home attends our church and always allows us an extra couple of players to join us from our church. It’s always a fun day filled with lots of bad golf shots and constant pranks. It’s always a ’scramble’ game, so we never really take it too seriously… especially since we’re not that good… We affectionately call this golf outing ‘The Undertaker Open’

So, last Monday two sets of foursomes from our church headed out for a great day of golf… First the pastors and the then another four from our leadership team at church… These guys had been playing pranks on us all day long… It was great to get them back by unstrapping their golf bags from their carts and watching them fall off the back of the cart at the 14th tee!!!   We celebrated, high fived, did some embarrassing celebration dance and took our tee shots quickly… they were following closely behind us… In our haste, our best shot ended up on the left side of the fairway behind a tree that had roots sticking up all over the place. Not the best place for a second shot… But a ’safer’ place behind a tree from the guys who kept yelling “FORE” as they pretended to hit golf balls our way… It was my turn to swing… this is where it gets blurry…

It was a long shot from a hard piece of ground with lots of tree roots close to my ball. I knew I had to hit the ball with great accuracy and great power. All day I had been making some good shots and I was confident I could get my team ‘out of the woods’… or so I thought… I came through the ball with as much swing and power as I could and in a split second…. BAM, CRACK, OUCH!!!  The ball left my club, hit a tree root three feet in front of me and came back and hit me straight in the mouth… or more accurately… in the teeth. I instantly felt one tooth break off and blood started to pour… Time slowed down and and my pastor friends around were talking in deep slow voices… I ended up at urgent care and the dentist and I was so bummed that I missed the wonderful free lunch!

The damage in the end was painful, but I count myself blessed that the golf ball didn’t do more damage. I ended up losing a tooth, a ‘hole’ in my face where another tooth came through, and some teeth that needed realigning. I got stitched up, and some minor dental surgery. At the end of the day, I am British, and I guess it’s ok to have some bad teeth isn’t it?

So, where is the youth ministry in this post you might ask? Well, here you go:

Following my injury, I have been out of action for a good part of this week and unable to do my normal youth ministry schedule.  However, I have witnessed countless emails and received a number of phone calls from incredible youth leaders who are carrying the ministry as I recover. As soon as they heard the news, they stepped into action and saw to it that all the major components of what we do are covered.  Here’s what I have learned this week:

1) Friendship is Key: I have great friends who I get to do ministry with.

2) Investing is Key: Investing in leaders and student leaders is imperative. Not only do they do a great job at what they do, they feel ownership and excitement.

3) Step Back to Let Others Lead: It’s important to get this youth ministry to a place where leaders lead and the youth pastor can connect authentically with students. For our large group program my two goal is to be able to connect authentically with as many students as I can, and to give transformational messages. These two things only happen when I have taken time to invest, equip and empower leaders to lead the programs we have created. Being forced out of the details of the program this week was a good test for everyone. It shows how important it is for me to intentionally create opportunities for my leaders to step forward to do what they do best?

Hope your Fall is having a great start and I encourage you to move your golf balls away from tree roots when you have a shot to play…

Phil <><

Now Discover Your Strengths – Buckingam and Clifton

A while back I read: Go Put Your Strengths to Work by Marcus Buckingham and I was fascinated and captured by the idea of what he calls ‘The Strengths Revolution’. I came to realize that he had laid the groundwork in a prior book,  Now, Discover Your Strengths. This book has been a long time coming for me and has sat in my ‘books to read’ pile for a while… I wish had read this sooner… It’s been out a while, but if you have not read this, you should add it to your book list

In this book, Buckingham addresses the premise behind ‘The Strengths Revolution’, which is this: Rather than focusing on bettering ourselves in our weaker areas of work / ministry, we should discover the our strongest areas and learn to build and capitalize on them, (while also learning to ‘manage around our weaknesses’). Too many of us have learned to focus on the areas we are not good at, rather than building on our strengths. Buckingham maintains that we will have greater impact and fulfillment when we work from our strengths and not our weaknesses.

Sounds simple? Why wouldn’t we be living this out already? This seems a very basic concept, right? However, in my ministry, I have often been inclined to focus on getting better at an area I am weak in. Or I try to be stronger in an area I see in someone I admire who is in ministry.

Let’s be honest for minute… How many of us see a Speaker at a conference, or know a prolific youthworker and wish we could communicate and write like them? How many of us try to mimic the style and strengths they have? How many of us lacking administration strengths try to be ultra organized in all we do, but no matter how hard we try, it just never seems to happen. How many hours have we spent focused on our weaknesses while our best talents and skills get placed on the back burner?

This book is a MUST read for all in youth ministry if we desire to highly effective. It is a must read if we desire to be confident and at peace with who we are. It is a must read if we want to understand others around us and how to effectively help them work from their strengths

The book itself comes with an online ’strengths finder profile’ for each reader to take, as well as a definition and breakdown of the strengths areas after you take it. This has been valuable to me as I confirm and rediscover who I am and where my focus needs to be. The book also gives many examples of professionals with different strengths and how they managed to harness their strengths and accomplish greater things. These examples were extremely helpful for me as I related to the characters stories.

All in all, a great read and I strongly encourage you to pick up a copy and talk it through with a friend or ministry partner. It’s been a wonderful process as I have been defining my strengths with greater clarity. Maybe you can get the same result?

Phil <><

Last week was an exciting one for Lisa and I as we welcomed our second child to the Bell family. Here you can see our first, ‘Emma’ with her baby sister ‘Addie’. Emma was excited to meet her, Addie on the other hand was not a big fan of meeting people…

I have been on vacation for a week and I am headed back tomorrow. We are all a little sleep deprived and very excited to be parents again. However, one of the blessings of having another Addie has been the insights God has provided for me as I reflect being a parent again. As I consider these last few weeks and as I look ahead, here is what I am learning about Family and Ministry:

Clarity: Having another child is a great way for me to be able to bring clarity to what matters most and to consider my primary ministry – my family. No matter how many tasks and how many events or programs I have, it’s important to realize that family should come before youth ministry. While youth ministry is of huge significance, it is my belief that God has called me to 1) Be child of His first, 2) Be a husband and father second, 3) A youth pastor third. Agree or disagree, this has been continuous theme I hear from mentors in my life.

Balance: Balance is always hard to find in ministry, but it is crucial that all of us should try to lead our families well and pursue balance. Two great books that I recommend on this area are: ‘Choosing to Cheat’ By Andy Stanley, and ‘What Matters Most’ by Doug Fields. Both books are an easy read and very practical.

Andy Stanley is the pastor at Northpoint Community Church in Atlanta which is one of the fastest growing churches in the nation…yet he maintains that family come first. He rarely works over 40 hours a week and God has done some completely amazing things at Northpoint. As I have kept my hours at a sustainable and healthy level, I have seen not only my family blessed, but the ministry too.

Example: The power of example is always a huge area I often talk about, (just see my previous post). You and I have too many students and families watching our lives  for us to set a murky example of healthy balance.  Ultimately, these students will live out what is modeled for them. It’s important to not only take care of our families first, but to realize that we helping those around us too.

Planning Ahead: Putting my family before ministry also means that I should give them priority in my schedule. As I look ahead at the Fall we already have some key family nights and date nights in our schedule. It’s often challenging to do this since ministry can consume us in many ways. However, it’s important to schedule family first.

Finally, as I have said earlier, I have seen great things happen not only in my family but in my ministry. When I have clarity and pursue healthy balance,  I win, the church wins, and of course… my family wins too.

What is God teaching you about balancing family and ministry?

Phil <><

We celebrate the good gifts God gives us in our children. Children are a gift from the Lord. Psalm 127:3

A while back I wrote a post about the power of example as a leader to volunteers. In the same way, the power of example to our students is imperative if we want to see them become passionate about Jesus.

This week Jason Lamb at Dare to Share posted an article of mine about the example of leadership to our students.

Take a look at: http://deepnwide.wordpress.com/2009/07/06/the-deep-and-wide-leader/

I know it’s the summer, but now is a great time to be brainstorming and thinking strategically about what events you will be doing when the Fall gets here. In the past I have used a lot of unnecessary energy and faced disappointment from events that didn’t turn out like I hoped. Today, as we look ahead to the Fall, let me give you a few tips from my vault of successes and mistakes.

1) Know the Purpose and Target Audience: This  is probably the most important step in planning the event. Who is it for? Is it for students who are not there yet? Is it a connections event to build community? Is it for students to grow deeper? My experience has been that the answer cannot be, “all of them”. The more specific we are, the greater the impact on the target audience you are reaching. A great question that always helps me to better understand the purpose is this:  ”When the event is over, what would we hoped to have seen happen”?

2) Communicate the Purpose and Target Audience: Once you have established the purpose and the target audience, make sure that everyone (and I mean absolutely everone – students, leaders, parents and the pastor), know the purpose. I have been frustrated in the past when planning events and the leaders and students are coming up with great creative ideas, but for a different kind of event. The more we communicate the purpose the greater we can channel creative ideas.

3) Build Ownership into Planning: When students are part of the process at the outset and are part of planning and implementation, the greater the impact of the event.  Although this can be messy and often students drop the ball, it is key to help them to be involved in as many ways as possible. In the past I have designed and implemented the slickest events with a group of youth leaders with low impact. In contrast, I have worked with students (and leaders) to design and implement events with high impact. Bottom line: Students want to see the event succeed if they have ownership of the ideas, creativity and implementation.

4) Keep the Event on the Same Night as Usual: There are two very good reasons I can think of for why this is key: First, it means you are not asking leaders to come out on a different night and therefore it is easier to staff the event. Second, when doing outreach events, it is crucial to allow for a ‘next step’ to the regular program the following week. It’s easier to invite a new student out the following week if it is on the same night.

5) Delegate, Delegate, Delegate: Yeah, yeah. We have heard this a million times. However, how much does this happen? Your ability to be ‘all there’ with students and be connecting with new students. Failure to delegate well will mean that you and I are programming the event more than we are pursuing students.

6) Create a ‘Next Step’: Having a next step as Andy Stanley would say, is creating an “easy, obvious and strategic” step for students to take at the event and / or following the event. A next step might be simply inviting a new student to come back the next week for your regular large group meeting, (this is why having the event on the same night is so important – it is easy, obvious and strategic).

Another next step might be have students sign up to get plugged into a small group at a connections event. If students are  connecting and getting to know each other better, a great next step is to be promoting small groups where they can continue to experience connection.

7) Pray! Finally, but most importantly, make sure that you pray for wisdom, direction and for God to do great things with this event. At the end of day, we are just event planners without God being at the center of what we are doing. Praying prepares our hearts to minister to students with the heart of God as well as preparing the hearts of the students who are coming. In my experience, this step is often the one that gets missed in the clutter of planning. Don’t miss this step!

Hope this helps. I am sure there are more tips you could include. Why don’t you share them with me? I would love to hear from you!

Phil <><

Yesterday I read the latest trends in ‘Teenage use of Media’ from Nielson provided by Media Life Magazine.

As youthworkers working with students, it is imperative that we understand teens world of communication and entertainment as much as possible, as well as find ways to ‘break into’ their world with relevant promotion, ideas, and conversation.

One caution I do want to state before you read on is this: I believe there is never a better way to minister to students than face to face contact where they see us look into their eyes with authenticity, hope and love. No media communication can replace quality time with them…

Three quotes stood out to me that I believe are helpful to us as we minister to students:

“Fact is, their media habits are similar to adults“.

It seems that the teenagers and adults are using similar modes of media to connect, relax, and get things done. The major difference is perhaps that teenagers tend to use these modes of media in greater consumption. This is good news for us in terms of how to interact and promote to them. Bad news is that they might be too busy to realize…

“In the first quarter of this year the typical U.S. teen sent or received 2,899 text messages compared to 191 calls – that’s about six times the average number of texts and nearly 100 text-messages per day.  Texting is picking up across age groups, but it’s clear that teens are leading this communications shift by leaps and bounds”.

This tells me that as youthworkers, we are smart to continue to communicate with students through text messages more than ever. Again, it is my concern that this this mode should not replace face to face contact. It’s easy to ‘check off’ kids on our list if we have been texting a student. Do we truly get the full picture from them through text? Therefore, I use the Simply Youth Ministry Text Service to ‘mass texts students’ about events, weekly programs and last minute changes. I do send students encouraging words and notes, but it is more of a promotion tool.

In respect of differences between adults and teens: ”

The biggest difference are in internet use, where teens spend about half as much time online”.

I have found that students rarely view our student ministry site even though we promote it regularly. They will respond to texts and facebook invites though.  However, I still use the web as a way to connect effectively with parents and adult leaders.

Also, a common complaint I hear from some of my leaders is, “I emailed him / her and they never reply to me…” Well, now we know why… If we want to ‘make contact’ with students, we know that a phone call to their cell phone won’t work, (many of them might now even know how to answer and hang up at this point). We know that an email likely won’t work, nor will a website or a flyer in the mail. For me personally, it is a more organic approach or ‘word of mouth’,  text messages, or facebook that seems to be working.

In light, of this study, it’s important to continuously consider how we communicate with students…

What works for you?

For more on the study go to Media Life Magazine.

Phil <><

Yesterday I posted about how I plan our message and series for the year. I emphasized why it is so important to pray and plan well in advance. One of the reasons is to help my leaders and students be involved the process creatively as well as give our speaking team time to prep.

In my post, I mentioned one of my leaders ‘Sara’ who speaks regularly in our large group environments. Not only is Sara a great communicator, she is an authentic and effective youth leader who has been ministering to teens for nearly a decade now. However, she is a full time mom and wife, and has her own speaking and prayer ministry that keeps her very busy. Yesterday Sara commented to my post and gave her perspective of why planning well in advance is helpful to her as a volunteer.

PLEASE NOTE: I hesitated to post this since I did not want anyone to think I am giving myself a high five for what I do. I felt it is important for all of us who are in the trenches full time to consider the ripple effect we have on volunteers and their effectiveness when we plan well…

One of Phil’s greatest assets as a leader is his dedication and determination to plan in advance with an openness to have to change or fly by the seat of his pants if needed. As a volunteer, I cannot tell you what a blessing this is! I am not constantly given last minute projects, spontaneous times to teach, whirlwind ideas and unnecessary crises that could have been avoided if there was good advanced planning. In Youth ministry and in any ministry frankly, we have to throw down often enough for crises, last minute emergencies or changes and there are always fun, spontaneous moments. But, to be following a leader who doesn’t plan in advance eventually becomes draining, exhausting, frustrating and frankly a complete drag since their last minute plans now become your problem when everyone is expected to drop everything in their life to make it happen. People and families get burnt. Phil leads a great example in this area and guess what one of his biggest problems is? He has more leaders than he needs! People are drawn to those who are respectful of their time, talents and families!

It’s been a couple of weeks away from the blogosphere for me since the summer break began. In ministry I have slowed my pace a little,  I am getting some extra time with my family, and getting jobs around the house done before the birth of our second in a couple of weeks.

Today I got together with one of my key leaders to finalize our Fall message plans and talked about some changes in the way we do our messages in our large group environments. Here’s what we do:

1) What we Teach for the Year: As I look at the year I have found that I need to consider which foundational areas students need to know and apply by the time they get to end of the school year. I wish I could say that I have developed my own system to ensure we have balance and foundation to what we teach, but I have not. Instead, I have found that ‘The Seven Checkpoints’ by Andy Stanley and Stuart Hall is a great start to ensuring that what we teach throughout the year. The premise of Checkpoints is this: We are likely to get about 32 hours of teaching time per year in our large group environments. However, we cannot teach students everything that is in the Bible in that short time. Also, everything in the Bible, while being true, is not relevant to students.  Checkpoints helps us to ‘narrow our focus’ (an Andy Stanley term), and ensure that we are teaching students the most important and relevant topics. Through a typical year we hit 7 areas that we feel every student needs to know.

2) Team Teaching: Although I lead my ministry, I have found it to be important and neccesary to incorporate good communicators to teach God’s Word to students. I have to be able to admit that different students need to hear different personalities and perspectives. It is easy for students to tune out the guy who is on stage every week. I am very blessed to have one leader who has her own ministry as a speaker to teens, and I have two other leaders who I utilize often who do a great job too. Even though team teaching requires a lot time, meetings, and investment on my part, it is so worth it to see students being blessed. Even if you are a volunteer, consider who at your church might do a good job coming in to speak or lead one evening?

3) Planning Well in Advance: Planning well in advance is imperative since it allows me to ‘perculate’ ideas and themes over weeks and months. It also allows the other speakers to prepare well and be creative. They get the opportunities to draw in students and leaders into the creative process.

4) Leave Some Gaps: My experience has taught me to leave at least 4-8 weeks of teaching unplanned for the year. In other words, every Fall and Spring I try to leave an intentional gap in my series teaching so that as a ‘current need’ or topic with greater relevancy comes up, we can be flexible to teach about it.

5) Be Flexible: As well as having gaps, it’s important to be flexible. No matter how detailed we try to be, there are always variables and last minute changes to consider. Whether it is a change in the large church schedule that requires me to change, or a leader who cannot speak for me, there are always changes to be made. I have found it is important to create a great teaching plan, but remain flexible with it.

6) Pray: Finally, but most importantly, I am always trying to seek God’s Leading as I plan for the Fall and the rest of year. I firmly believe that the Holy Spirit works just as effectively a few months before as well as a few weeks before. Therefore, it’s imperative to be praying carefully before I start planning.

That’s what I do, hopefully this is some help to you as you plan what you teach. Feel free to comment or send me a message if you have any questions.

Phil <><

Today I watched this video on cnn.com (below), and I was amazed by one high school students dedication and passion to make a difference in the world. As I watched, I was struck by two major revelations. 

First, I can’t underestimate how God will use me to challenge students to do something great. In this video, Emily Blake shares of how a speaker at a camp challenged her and others to, “not just be good students, but to do great things for God”… As I paused to consider this today, it made me wonder whether or not I am always expectant that God will do grand things with the words HE gives me? How about you? Are you expecting students to respond, or are you hoping they will? There’s a difference isn’t there? As speaker and teacher of God’s Word, I need to be reminded that there is power in His Word and promises. When I teach, I should expect God to do great things…

Second, it was a good reminder to me that students will often approach me with grand plans to change the world and make a difference… it’s means everything in how I respond. As adults in their lives, it is often easy to simply explain away an idea with a dose of reality from the ‘been there seen that – it won’t work’ reaction. However, her parents and Compassion International did more than simply give her a chance with an idea. Not only did they believe in her, they saw fit to come alongside her and help her navigate the steps she needed to take. It reminded me that I must not only encourage, I must also equip and empower.

Let’s face it, will all our students attain what Emily Blake did? Who knows? On average, probably not. However, I believe it means so much to students when we challenge them to raise the bar and do something amazing. It is also imperative that we support them as they try ideas in a safe environment. The steps (and how we support them in these steps), are crucial in this cynical world that always seems to have a way to dispel dreams. They may not be world changers today… but what they experience and how they are equipped and encouraged today means everything for what they attain tomorrow…