youthwork TALKTalk about youth ministry and life…

Names of Legacy:

Consider all these important and influential people: John Powell, Patrick Horgan, Tim Lee, Kate Dean, Rupert DeSalis, Chris White, Chris Knowles, Larry & Shirley Morris, Paul Williams, Julian and Kathy Hardy, Sam Cowell. Do you know these names? Probably not… (Unless you know me well)…

You see, these people have all played a part in my life leaving a legacy and ultimately have been instrumental in shaping many ideas, thoughts, and foundations of who I am today. Of course, there are writers and speakers who shaped my thinking, but these people I named are the ones who not only shared their faith and the gospel with me, but they shared their lives as well.

Currently I am the Simply Youth Ministry Conference in Chicago with 2500 other youth workers from all around the country and the world. The theme for this conference is “Surprising Legacy” and the idea (and the reality) of how our lives in student ministry are leaving a surprising legacy with the people we minister to on a weekly basis.

If you are like me, it’s often difficult to see what impact I am having on young people. I certainly don’t consider myself as someone who is having a profound impact on students’ lives. If your experience is like mine, students are not always forthcoming in their praise for what I do or what I teach. Teenagers do appreciate what we do, but we don’t always hear it or see it do we? To some degree, this is what makes our legacy surprising… Whether or not we know it now or in many years to come, we are all leaving a legacy with students…

In the last few years I have been contacting youth leaders and adults who were in my life when I was a younger and thanking them for what they did for me when I was younger. As I have tracked them down and talked with them it has helped me to see what it was these leaders did to make such an impact in my life. It’s been so helpful to consider what they did and consider what I do today to make a lasting difference too.

In ministry it is often very easy to get caught up in programs, events and the latest thing and forget what truly matters as we minister to students. As I consider the surprising legacy I am leaving, it is so helpful that I look back and remind myself what influential leaders did in my life to help find faith, grow in faith and be equipped for my faith journey. It is when I look back like this that I am to see what my ministry today needs to be like to make sure I am leaving a lasting and healthy legacy with students.

What could our ministries look like if we could live out what has been modeled to us by other influential Godly adults in our lives growing up? What did they do that so changed the course of our lives? What did they do to help us grow deeper? What did they do to encourage in times of struggle? What did you and I see in them when we were looking for direction?

What legacy are we leaving as we look back to the legacy that has been left with us? What do YOU remember about the Godly adults in your life growing up? How could you model that today in your ministry?

As some of my friends know (and noticeably by the lack of my blogging recently), I have been transitioning into a new ministry position at a church family here in Michigan as Pastor to High School and College Students. Making the change was challenging and required a lot of prayer, but I am very thankful for God’s clear leading. However, it is always painful leaving students and families who I have been deeply invested in. I am glad I haven’t made too many moves in ministry. Longevity is always better if it possible in ministry.

I have been in my new position for nearly a month now and I am “finding my feet” one step at a time… As I look at what is ahead and what I have been doing, I find it very helpful to keep the most important priorities in focus as I begin this new ministry position:

1) Building Relationships will take time and it’s important to take time to build them… Not rocket science, but it is something that can easily get overlooked on a daily basis. Coming into an established student ministry means there are lots of tasks that need to get done and attended to. It’s also easy to get caught up in being overly concerned with what I call “speaking performance” and investing too mush time in trying to “knock the ball out the park” with my first few messages. Of course, people are looking and hoping I am going to do a great job, but ultimately, it is solid God centered relationships which will make the biggest difference over time. Students will get more out of my messages if they know I genuinely care about them… This will only happen if I spend time investing in them from day one. I think students are perceptive enough to know if I am there to “look good” speaking or if my heart is for them…

2) Listening First Changes Later: It is easy to come in to a new ministry and see quickly what needs to change and bring ideas from previous experience. However, I have found that it is more important to ask questions about what has been before me. In doing so I get to hear the “what and why” behind existing programs and strategies. Not only does it help me understand the culture better, it helps to see if certain ideas and programs have a deep investment from the students and leaders. It is a mistake to to devalue or knock down something that has a deep investment. Listening comes first, changes later…

3) Meeting Parents is Key: Although our job title usually centers our attention on students, it is imperative we understand the importance and impact of ministering the whole family. Given that we usually have a few hours with each student and parents have a whole lot more, we must see the importance of meeting with and investing in parent relationships. In addition, there are many parents who are understandably nervous about t me. “Who is this guy? What will he be teaching? Is he going to invest in my student or be flaky? Does he communicate with parents or will I be in the dark again? Is he British or Australian?”  (I get that one a lot since I am from the UK with a lot of Americanisms in my accent). Parents have good reasons to be nervous, so it’s important to give them a good opportunity to put their fears to rest…

4) Start today what can be continued tomorrow: I am a big believer in this practice. Even though I would like to come in and make a “wow” impact, I have to ask myself if I am able to sustain the pace / events/ programs I come in with. I think it is important to try to make a positive impact, but if I burn myself out trying to keep pace in weeks to come, ultimately the students pay for it. Instead, I believe it is better to stay focused on a few but foundational objectives coming in, but ensure I can build from there…

Well, those are my initial thoughts for now. Right now myself and my family are in the midst of painting and staging our house to sell. It has been a very busy season changing ministries and getting ready to move house, but God always gives just enough.

Some of my youth ministry friends have been asking why there has been a lack of blog posts in the last two months. If you visit the site often you might have the same question too. Well, here is the simple answer: Time…or more to the point: Time and parenting…

As some of you know we have a 3 year old (Emma) and a 5 month old (Addie). Unfortunately, as many parents experience, we have had a baby who has had colic and is still waking every few hours, (we never had this with our first… I think the Lord knew what we could handle with our first kid)… In recent months we have tried to sleep and make family and ministry work as best as possible and try to keep our schedules simple and free from ‘extra stuff’ (Blogging is extra stuff for me).

In many ways, student ministry is a huge blessing when it comes being creative with scheduling. I am thankful that I can ‘buy’ time in my schedule and ‘pay back’ time later in the day or week. I am thankful to be able to do this and know that I am still able to give ministry a good account. Most of all, I am thankful that I can still make family and ministry a priority in this sleep deprived season… blogging gets a back seat

One of the things I have been encouraged by (and would like to encourage you with) is this: Sometimes, I hear youth pastors complaining about their schedules and wishing they would be different. But the question I will often ask is, “what job can you do where you get have this kind of flexibility to adjust your schedule when life throws a curve ball at you”? Sure there are a few occupations that allow this, but would you enjoy it? As long as you and I are giving God and our churches / organizations a good account with our time, it is a real blessing to be able to “flex” the schedule when we need to…

I hope to blog some in the next few weeks with a few ideas and thoughts I have… Hope you are having a great week and getting a chance to pause too…

Hi Everyone, it’s been a while since I posted anything if you follow youthworktalk regularly. I do apologize for my lack of words in recent weeks.

I have unofficially been taking the end of the summer to spend some extra time with the family and get used to being a dad to number two (Addie, born on July 7th – I was afraid this Englishman would have to deal with one of his kids being born on that rebellious day, also know as July 4th – just kidding).

In addition to having a newborn in the Bell household, it has been a challenging season in many other ways. It has been good to be at home and take time to catch up and rest up at times. However, here we are well into September and the Fall is truly underway with a yearly tradition for me and some friends:

Every year, the pastors from our church are invited out for a free day of golf that is put on by a local funeral home as a way to support pastors and give them a fun day as the Fall gets kicked off. In fact, one of the directors from the funeral home attends our church and always allows us an extra couple of players to join us from our church. It’s always a fun day filled with lots of bad golf shots and constant pranks. It’s always a ’scramble’ game, so we never really take it too seriously… especially since we’re not that good… We affectionately call this golf outing ‘The Undertaker Open’

So, last Monday two sets of foursomes from our church headed out for a great day of golf… First the pastors and the then another four from our leadership team at church… These guys had been playing pranks on us all day long… It was great to get them back by unstrapping their golf bags from their carts and watching them fall off the back of the cart at the 14th tee!!!   We celebrated, high fived, did some embarrassing celebration dance and took our tee shots quickly… they were following closely behind us… In our haste, our best shot ended up on the left side of the fairway behind a tree that had roots sticking up all over the place. Not the best place for a second shot… But a ’safer’ place behind a tree from the guys who kept yelling “FORE” as they pretended to hit golf balls our way… It was my turn to swing… this is where it gets blurry…

It was a long shot from a hard piece of ground with lots of tree roots close to my ball. I knew I had to hit the ball with great accuracy and great power. All day I had been making some good shots and I was confident I could get my team ‘out of the woods’… or so I thought… I came through the ball with as much swing and power as I could and in a split second…. BAM, CRACK, OUCH!!!  The ball left my club, hit a tree root three feet in front of me and came back and hit me straight in the mouth… or more accurately… in the teeth. I instantly felt one tooth break off and blood started to pour… Time slowed down and and my pastor friends around were talking in deep slow voices… I ended up at urgent care and the dentist and I was so bummed that I missed the wonderful free lunch!

The damage in the end was painful, but I count myself blessed that the golf ball didn’t do more damage. I ended up losing a tooth, a ‘hole’ in my face where another tooth came through, and some teeth that needed realigning. I got stitched up, and some minor dental surgery. At the end of the day, I am British, and I guess it’s ok to have some bad teeth isn’t it?

So, where is the youth ministry in this post you might ask? Well, here you go:

Following my injury, I have been out of action for a good part of this week and unable to do my normal youth ministry schedule.  However, I have witnessed countless emails and received a number of phone calls from incredible youth leaders who are carrying the ministry as I recover. As soon as they heard the news, they stepped into action and saw to it that all the major components of what we do are covered.  Here’s what I have learned this week:

1) Friendship is Key: I have great friends who I get to do ministry with.

2) Investing is Key: Investing in leaders and student leaders is imperative. Not only do they do a great job at what they do, they feel ownership and excitement.

3) Step Back to Let Others Lead: It’s important to get this youth ministry to a place where leaders lead and the youth pastor can connect authentically with students. For our large group program my two goal is to be able to connect authentically with as many students as I can, and to give transformational messages. These two things only happen when I have taken time to invest, equip and empower leaders to lead the programs we have created. Being forced out of the details of the program this week was a good test for everyone. It shows how important it is for me to intentionally create opportunities for my leaders to step forward to do what they do best?

Hope your Fall is having a great start and I encourage you to move your golf balls away from tree roots when you have a shot to play…

Phil <><

A while back I wrote a post about the power of example as a leader to volunteers. In the same way, the power of example to our students is imperative if we want to see them become passionate about Jesus.

This week Jason Lamb at Dare to Share posted an article of mine about the example of leadership to our students.

Take a look at: http://deepnwide.wordpress.com/2009/07/06/the-deep-and-wide-leader/

Yesterday I read the latest trends in ‘Teenage use of Media’ from Nielson provided by Media Life Magazine.

As youthworkers working with students, it is imperative that we understand teens world of communication and entertainment as much as possible, as well as find ways to ‘break into’ their world with relevant promotion, ideas, and conversation.

One caution I do want to state before you read on is this: I believe there is never a better way to minister to students than face to face contact where they see us look into their eyes with authenticity, hope and love. No media communication can replace quality time with them…

Three quotes stood out to me that I believe are helpful to us as we minister to students:

“Fact is, their media habits are similar to adults“.

It seems that the teenagers and adults are using similar modes of media to connect, relax, and get things done. The major difference is perhaps that teenagers tend to use these modes of media in greater consumption. This is good news for us in terms of how to interact and promote to them. Bad news is that they might be too busy to realize…

“In the first quarter of this year the typical U.S. teen sent or received 2,899 text messages compared to 191 calls – that’s about six times the average number of texts and nearly 100 text-messages per day.  Texting is picking up across age groups, but it’s clear that teens are leading this communications shift by leaps and bounds”.

This tells me that as youthworkers, we are smart to continue to communicate with students through text messages more than ever. Again, it is my concern that this this mode should not replace face to face contact. It’s easy to ‘check off’ kids on our list if we have been texting a student. Do we truly get the full picture from them through text? Therefore, I use the Simply Youth Ministry Text Service to ‘mass texts students’ about events, weekly programs and last minute changes. I do send students encouraging words and notes, but it is more of a promotion tool.

In respect of differences between adults and teens: ”

The biggest difference are in internet use, where teens spend about half as much time online”.

I have found that students rarely view our student ministry site even though we promote it regularly. They will respond to texts and facebook invites though.  However, I still use the web as a way to connect effectively with parents and adult leaders.

Also, a common complaint I hear from some of my leaders is, “I emailed him / her and they never reply to me…” Well, now we know why… If we want to ‘make contact’ with students, we know that a phone call to their cell phone won’t work, (many of them might now even know how to answer and hang up at this point). We know that an email likely won’t work, nor will a website or a flyer in the mail. For me personally, it is a more organic approach or ‘word of mouth’,  text messages, or facebook that seems to be working.

In light, of this study, it’s important to continuously consider how we communicate with students…

What works for you?

For more on the study go to Media Life Magazine.

Phil <><

So, as many of you know who follow this blog, I am part of a church plant in Southeast Michigan, (well, does 6 years old still class as a church plant)? At Easter we had our first service in our first full time facility that we now own. Up until now, we have rented facilities, used homes and the youth program when I arrived here met in basements. Now that we have our own place, you would think it would be all plain sailing now? Right? Yes… and no. Here’s 10 things I have been learning…

1) Less Set up / Tear Down? Getting in a building does not necessarily mean less ’set up and tear down’ every time we meet for our large program. Prior to being here, we rented a facility for youth ministry and we had to set up and tear down every week. Now, we still have the same situation. We do not have our own youth space and this means we still have work hard before and after the program. 

2) Students Love the Place! Our place looks great and does look like your typical church. Students feel greater ownership and love the place and feel. 

3) Students say they bring more Friends! A number of students have told us that they feel it is easier to bring their friends to. When I ask why, they explain that it’s almost like inviting friends to ‘their place’. Before, it was like inviting friends to someone else’s place.

4) It’s Easy to be too Laid Back! I have noticed that many of my leaders took their foot of the gas a little when we arrived here. It’s almost, like “this will be easier, now we can relax”. 

5) Laid Back = Falling Over! We were all a little too laid back about getting in here and we fell a couple of times and we have had a lot of bumps in the road. 

6) Falling Over is a good path sometimes! Falling over and tripping up a little has been an important part of our journey. I love the fact that I am surrounded by leaders who are always looking to learn and get back up when things don’t go to plan. 

7) SWINE FLU changes Everything! Yes, we had to close our youth program down one Sunday after we got word that some students in the local high school were infected with H1N1 virus. I did not want to over react, however, it was important to send a clear message to parents that safety and health is a top priority for us. 

I have a LONGER JOB DESCRIPTION! Now that I am in the office more, I end up doing more stuff outside my youth ministry description. I usually preach every couple of months and work on a lot of communication stuff for the church, but recently I have become: Removal man, IT help desk, Cleaner, Handy Man… just to name a few. However , it’s important to say that I love doing this. There are some people who are throwing down a lot more than me. We are a team and it’s important to get stuff done… 

9) I love my British office! I got to paint and decorate my own place. The flavor and feel is British! I have a lot of stuff from my home country in there! 

10) WOW, we have grown!!!! We have increased attendance by about 25% in the first month. Now, we have had Easter and mothers day, but we have seen so many new people, first time commitments to Christ and so many more people have got plugged into ministry. AND, at the end of the day… this is what it is about. 

There, you go, that is what I am learning. Sorry for the blog drought… It has been a busy season!

Phil <><

I just got back from NYMC conference on Monday feeling refreshed and very inspired by what I learned and experienced. If you are like me, it’s hard to get away for conferences, vacations, etc, because in the back of my mind I am always wondering what I will be missing and coming back to.

Fortunately, I have some great volunteers who have been partnering with me in ministry for a while now, so I  don’t usually come back to a catastrophe. However, no matter how much I  get done before I leave, there are always emails, voicemail, new tasks and the ‘usual’ week to get back to. For me, all the catch up can make for a ‘messy’ week and it is easy to lose focus in the midst of it all. At these times, it’s easy to get swallowed up by the latest email, or the ‘urgent’ voicemails people have left me… 

So what do I try to do? Here’s what I have learned over the years: 

1) Embrace this Reality: That given a couple of weeks, (or less), you will be caught up. It’s path of the course. It helps to realise that the pressure I feel today with all the added admin and volume of voicemail will only be for a while… It helps because if we do not relax with the idea that we will naturally catch up, we will think we have to pour our energies into these items today. (Note: we need to also embrace the reality that admin is a part of ministry, and will always be there. Therefore, when I say we will be ‘caught up’ I don’t mean it’s ALL done)…

2) Commit to Quiet Times: Everyone in the world might think that their voicemail is the most important, or that their email needs urgent attention, or the plan that has been on their mind for the last 5 days should have been on your radar during that time too. AND, if I we are honest,  we have our own agendas and lists too, don’t we! This is why we cannot short cut our quiet times. For me, even if I am not getting the deepest Bible study accomplished I cannot short cut my quiet time. Instead of being led by the stress and schedule, I try to seek God out of silence and solitude. 

3) Commit to Contact Time: No matter how busy I get, I always maintain certain ‘blocks’ of time for contact with students and my leaders. Busyness is the enemy of relationships and I must make sure that I have certain default times to get together with the people I am ministering to. For myself personally, I have had periods in the past where I have gone weeks without good connection outside of our programs all because I was consumed with admin and organization. In the short term I get stuff done, but in the longer term I am ineffective due to a distance people feel. I must connect in community because students and leaders will follow someone who knows them… Not someone gets stuff done… 

How do you prioritize when you are busy? What defaults do you have set in place? What areas do you struggle to keep focused on?

Here’s another video from National Youth Ministry Conference.  Just goes to show that us youthworkers can be creative!