youthwork TALKTalk about youth ministry and life…

In a few weeks we will moving our main middle school program to a Sunday evening overlapping with our main high school program. Primarily, we are trying to be 1) family friendly by giving parents of both middle school and high school, one evening to bring their students. 2) Free up space in our new facility 3) Enable busy midweek students, (sports, school etc), the opportunity to attend. 4) Recruit more volunteers to work with students who could not make a midweek night, but could make Sundays. 

However, although there are many more excellent reasons for doing this, my experience (and yours too perhaps), tells me:  I cannot shortcut a process to get students, parents, and volunteers on board with changes. Let me list and give a little understanding to how I have brought about this change in our ministry. 

1) Sense the need to make this change: Any potential changes I see must come through prayer and leadership intuition. Seems basic, but how many times do we want to make changes because another church is doing something different or someone else says we MUST do it?

2) Start Early: I began this process back in October… Don’t underestimate how long you need to organize a big change, and don’t underestimate how much time people need to process change…

3) Gather specific reasons and information: Before I gave the idea I gathered information.  Here’s what I gathered:

a. Online survey of parents: “What’s best night for student ministry program”: 84% said Sunday was best. IMPORTANT: Although surveys are great for getting hard facts, do not discount how important surveys are for building ownership from parents. 

b. Surveyed students who did not attend our midweek program: Most are busy on Wednesdays and prefer Sundays. About another 20% could make a Sunday

c. Talked with potential leaders over the last year who kept telling me Wednesdays were tough to make. I had a list of about 10-12 people.

d. Talked to existing leaders about potential of a Sunday night: Most liked Sundays… 

4) Have potential change conversations: As I began to gather this information, I started to have conversations with leaders, parents and students about the potential of this happening. It was important to use the phrase, this might not happen, but it’s possible… I find that these conversations are pertinent to getting people open to the idea. 

5) Present solid facts: After these potential conversations, I found a number of forums to present facts based on what I had learned from surveys and conversations. These forums included email, website, facebook, newsletters and up front announcements. Obviously I met with my pastor and volunteers to talk specifically about what I had discovered. 

6) Present vision: While facts and information are great for getting people to see a need, they mean nothing unless there is vision of betterment for students. As I discussed and communicated with students, leaders and parents, I kept on communicating how students lives would be impacted: 

a. More students could come, b. more leaders could volunteer and invest time in students, c. families win back a night together if they have middle school and high school students.

7) Prepare Leaders: My final step was to meet with leaders individually and together as a group to plan and get their input on the changes. It’s important that I set them up for success and allow them to give ideas and input. I have to admit that I will not cover every detail and I must rely on good leaders to see potential issues or come up with better ways to do something… 

That’s how we are doing it for now. I will post later after the change has taken place and share what went well and what we missed… No matter how well we plan, we will likely miss something… BUT, it’s better to take good steps toward changes than take none… Hope this helps…

Phil <><

You have likely heard that you can’t do effective ministry as a lone ranger. I feel that it is a given that we should do our best to recruit Godly adults who love God and love students. But, getting leaders is not always easy no matter how long you have been in ministry. However, over the years I have adopted some strategies that work for me and make the process much easier in the long run. 

Here’s what I do: 
1) Pray – I know, I know, too simple, but let’s be honest, do we ask God to send them or do we try to search for them? There’s a difference. 

2) Recruit Now: It’s March and I am recruiting now for the Fall. Why? People tend to have a ministry ‘mindset’ now rather than in the late spring or summer. Also, I find that many need to make way for ministry in their schedules. Planting seeds or asking now, helps them to clear time and also have plenty of time to consider and sit on the idea. 

3) Ask Existing Leaders: Every leader that commits to a year of youth ministry with me agrees to be proactive in recruiting others for ministry.  The great advantage for leaders who have been in the trenches is that they can identify good leaders who will fit our chemistry better too. Currently, approximately half of my leaders I have come from other leaders who helped me recruit. Howard was a guy I personally recruited since he came on a retreat once with me and I saw great potential in him. His first response was: Are you sure I am the guy you are looking for? Since then, Howard has been a faithful and great youth leader… However, here’s how he’s impacting recruiting leaders: In the last two months there are three guys who Howard has personally talked to who have come to me. 

4) Ask Students: Have you seen the movie ‘Mr Deeds’? Have you seen the clip where ‘Emilio’, his trusty valet, exclaims, I am very crafty sir… This is what you become when you ask students to help you recruit leaders. I have found that some of my best leaders did not even consider being a youth leader unless a students asked them. Even if I, you paid youth guy was to ask them, they would likely still say no. However, I often give my students a healthy framework to work within, and ask them, so, who do you think would make an awesome leader? Next is the really crafty, but of course, ‘affirming’ part: I have students ask the leader. Most times, it is a question of potential volunteers needing to students to believe in them… 

5)  Vision Casting: People come for a vision not a need. Telling people how God is amazing in bringing so many new students into the ministry is a good start. People want to be a part of a winning team, not part of a team that regularly makes announcements in the bulletin. I try to use as many conversational and ‘up front’ opportunities to talk about the great things God is doing in the life of students. My common line is: If God keeps doing what He is doing, I am going to have to ask Him to send me more youth leaders… do you know any?

6) Ask Personally: Again, this might not sound like rocket science, but I have to ensure that this is on my radar constantly. As I pray for God to send people, am I looking out for them? I am asking them personally? Do they know that I have noticed their potential? As mentioned, Howard was one of those guys. He loves to share the story with other potential volunteers and let them know that they might be sure about it all, but once they get plugged in, they will love doing youth ministry… 

What do you do? How are you doing getting leaders? What is one idea you could try to recruit youth leaders? 

Phil <><

Do you ever feel like you are constantly digging to find new ways to connect with students or find ways to get them on board with a message idea? Do you ever wonder if they are connecting with a youth leader who might seem ancient to them? (That’s you and me by the way). I think we all feel like that at times! I think to some degree there is some truth to the ancient feeling. However, in the next couple of days, I want to talk about some helpful ways that I have been learning to overcome this problem. Today, I want to talk about the best kind of message preparation you and can make… but first: 

The Reality

If we are out of college and over the age of 22, I believe that many students will look at us as being ‘out of touch’ with them and their peers. Perhaps they feel like we do not  understand their issues? However, I also hold fast to the truth that students will let you into their lives when they see a consistent love and care for them. When we speak, the best hours of preperation may not be in the message material itself, I believe it is the preparation we do when we invest in getting to know students and their lives…

When we stand in front of them, they will subconsciously know if you and I understand them well enough to address the issues in their lives. Because of this fact, we cannot short cut our relational time with them. If you have read ‘Hurt’ by Chap Clark, he speaks about the research he did at a school where he would sit and observe (and listen) to students. He found that students have their own world that adults are not party to. As he spent time and ’sat at the steps’ of their world he slowly began to have conversations with them and discover a clearer picture of their inner teenage world. It took time…

In a similar way, as youthworkers, we need to sit at their steps and listen and learn. When students know that we understand their issues and that we care about them, they are more likely to listen to the truth that they desperately need to hear. 

Sometimes we think we need to put more hours into making our message ‘dyanamic’ and ‘catchy’, where in fact, we need to do our message prep by spending more time with our audience. We need to spend more time being their audience. We need to tune into their world and let them know we are following their story. Maybe then, they will tune into God’s truth that you and I deliver? 

Three Things I do to help me ‘Sit on the Steps of their World’ 

1) Ask Good Questions: I am always asking questions about them, their week, their friends and their opinions on events. I often use the phrase, “help me understand this..”, (even when I think I already do). I also use phrases like, “what do you think adults misunderstand about you guys”?  I find that so many adults want to tell kids what they need to know before they ask what they need to know… get it? 

2) Get into their World: As a youthworker we should all be reading and understanding the latest trends etc.  Walt Mueller at CPYU has a lot of great articles and updates that I find very helpful. I also try to watch what students are watching on TV and surf where they surf online too. This is helpful. However, I find that getting into their world happens best if I show up to their world. Planning a lunch, going to a game or school play sends a powerful message to the students we are trying to reach, but it is also a great opportunity to learn about students in their world. 

3) Meet with Them: No matter how big our ministry has become, I always maintain how important it is that the lead youthworker still meets with students regularly. When we do this, we send the message to students and their friends, that we care enough to meet with them. When I meet with them, I always ask them honestly, “how is our student ministry helping you?” I am often suprised, encouraged and challenged by the authentic responses I get at these times… Sometimes they give me my best message content…

It’s imperative that we step aside and let leaders speak, but it’s imperative that we also give our leaders the tools to do so. I have found that coming up with a basic message writing format really helps me, as well as my leaders. Here’s a format that I have developed from guys like Andy Stanley and Doug Fields: 

Giving a message is like taking a flight and going on a journey somewhere…

TAKE OFF: Intro/Grab Attention/Get students on board. 

Just like a plane on take off, most of the thrust and power goes into the getting the plane off the ground. Without a good thrust, you will run out of runway. In the same way, no matter how great our message content is, if we are unable to grab attention and get kids ‘on board’ and ‘take off’ with an idea, we will run out of ‘runway’ quickly. What media, drama, or special element will help us take off?

TOPIC: What issue do students face? What problem are you presenting? 

TRUST: How have you struggled in this area. How do you relate to this problem? (It’s important that students can sense that we are on the journey with them, and that you have or have had struggles in this area). 

TRANSITION: One sentence that takes us ‘above the clouds’ of the problem and transitions us into clarity of God’s answer. Example: How can you and I deal with this issue in our lives? It’s a good job God didn’t leave us in the dark. Let’s take a look at God’s Word and figure this out…

WORD: This is where we draw out God’s truths for students. Usually I try to break down this part into the following: i. Context – What was happening at the time.  ii. Characters – Who are the people being addressed or written about. iii. Our context – How does this apply to us today. iv. Why is this important for us to understand? Remember to ensure that we pick a passage that addresses the issue that was raised at the beginning. It’s easy to take students on unnecessary diversions by focusing on every detail of the passage. Try to stay with the big idea. 

WHAT IF: As we begin to descend to ‘land the plane’ it’s important to ask the question, What if you and I were to live this truth out in our lives… what would our lives look like? What would our decisions be like? What would our relationships look like? … It’s important that we begin to give them a runway to land on with us. So that they can visualize the vision God has for them. Just like a pilot can see the certainty and safety of the landing lights of a runway, students need to see the certainty of how living out these truths will impact their lives… Without the “What if “questions, we are asking students to land in the fog…

WHAT NOW: What steps can students take to live out these truths? 

As they ‘disembark’ do they know where they are going this week? Just like passengers need directions once they get to the airport terminal, so students need further steps they can can as they navigate through their week. What specific steps can we give them to take that will help them start living out the truth they have just heard? 

This is the basic way I have shared with my leaders to help them take students on a journey. It helps to give them a natural and normal format to follow and gives them a starting point in their message journey and gives them an easy ‘landing’. Try and tweak it for yourself?

If you knew that you could make changes in your ministry to present God’s truth to students more effectively, would you make them?  Seems like a no brainer right? One of the best ways to present God’s truth more effectively is to step aside and let other leaders speak…

Why is that so difficult for some of us?  Let’s be honest, if you are like me,  it’s very easy to come up with reasons for not making use of volunteers in this way…

First, it’s easy to conclude that their volunteer status equals poor messages… Not true. 

Second, it could mean that we have to plan far in advance… Not easy for some of us!

Third, after we have met with the leader and walked them through the message,  we could have written it ourselves in less time… This is true, but would it be more effective? 

All seem like compelling reasons?  However, here’s why it is imperative to to invest, equip, and empower our volunteers to give messages: 

1) They are Different: As hard as this is to admit, students in our ministries will tune us out week after week. No matter how dynamic we are,  kids will naturally tune us out.  I have a British accent and my youth ministry friends say I could talk about anything and it would be interesting… I wish!  I tell them, yes, the new kids love it… (if they can understand me at first), but give them a few months and it’s old!  Our leaders are a different face, have a different style, and different ways of thinking through things… Your students have different learning styles and different ways to think through things too… We cannot cover the whole ‘bandwidth’ of students personalities and learning styles on our own. 

2) Planning Pays Off Volunteers will present poorly if we give them short notice… When we plan ahead in a series, we can give leaders 4-6 weeks to think and work on a message.  Leaders perform better when they have time to pray and think through their message. If we are not planning this far ahead, we are not helping our leaders succeed. 

3) Investment  Pays Off. Recently two leaders gave messages for me and I have invested hours of time into both of them. They both have good communication skills and a strong faith and these most recent messages were the best I have seen them give. We would all agree that their first messages were shaky and not as concise as they could be, (do you remember your first message?) Investment pays off as we take time to encourage, tweak and improve their skills. 

4) Get the Night off and Lead: When a leader gives the message for me and I am able to take the night off from speaking, I am able to lead better. I can step back and assess the program from a different vantage point and see tweaks we need to make that I would not normally see.  Finally, I can invest more relational time with leaders and students. It’s great for students and leaders to see us laughing and being a part of the group in a different way…

Is it time to step aside and let leaders speak? 

Phil <><

A few days ago I talked about the importance of building a youth ministry ‘fan base’. The premise is this: All of us in youth ministry will get through the honeymoon of ministry when those around us realize that we are not one of the Apostles (or even better, Jesus). Give us a year and we realize there are people in church who  have concluded that our  ministry is heading in the wrong direction. Or, you and I have made some mistakes that are very apparent and we have to make good of them. It’s at these times when we need gracious people who know us and our hearts. It’s in these times we need youth ministry fans…

So, how do you and I allow people at our churches to have a better perspective of our ministry and ultimately each of us as individuals? How do we ‘allow’ people to be more gracious with us, more than they were with the previous youth worker? It helps to be building a youth ministry fan base (See previous post, ‘How to Build a Youth Ministry Fan Base’)

First, I want to be clear that our goal should not to focus on trying to manipulate or become everyone ‘fake best friend’. What I am talking about is realizing that there are some healthy things we can do to supplement what we are trying to implement. Implementing our ideas without the supplement of ‘fan base building’ will become a detriment. 

Here’s some further ideas: 

1) Serve People in your Church. An effective way to build bridges and promote your wonderful students in your ministry is to be intentional about planning some service type events that bless people in your church. We try to do ‘Serve Team’ projects once a month which are aimed at blessing our community by showing God’s love in practical ways. At the same time, we try to find a few people in our church we can help or visit during that event. You will be surprized at how much the youth ministry will be promoted positively by those people inside and outside your church. Example: Before Christmas, we took our middle school kids Christmas carolling. We were inentional about going to some families at our church who needed the ‘blessing’ of middle school kids singing to them. I heard a lot of favorable comments from a number of people. 

2) Look out for your Pastor. As youthworkers it is imperative that we ‘lead up’ by always having the back of our lead pastor and other ministry staff. When we are team players who cover our team and supports them, we will see the same support extended to us. Note: I have seen and been apart of teams where everyone is for themselves. It’s tempting to fall into the mold too… In these cases you will build trust with insecure team members and you might just change the environment. Whether or not we do see fruit from this… We must do it since it is the best and right thing to do.

3) Do jobs Outside of your Job Description from time to time. Again, so many larger churches, (and smaller ones too) can easily live in silos where we only care for our own area. I am learning that building a fan base, (as well as good friends in ministry), happens when I agree to do jobs or tasks that are outside of job description from time to time. Things like, helping out the kids ministry with a message, or helping to update the website for your church, or preaching once in a while to give your pastor a week off (I currently preach every 6-8 weeks). Or even things like ‘talking up’ other ministries and helping them recruit volunteers. Note: Be careful not to become the doormat who gets asked to do EVERYTHING, but, make sure you don’t live in a silo either!

Finally, and most importantly, be a God pleaser above all else…

Building a youth ministry fan base is important, but it can go very wrong if we do not start with pleasing God first. We might become people pleasers who stretch ourselves too far by being the doormat of church ministry. Make sure that you are sensible with your time and bridge building. 

Any other ideas for building a youth ministry fan base?

Once any of us have been in a church for more than a year it becomes very apparent that the honeymoon is well and truly over. People are starting to discover that we have faults and failings. We’ve already stained the new carpet with paintball. Or we might have shown a video clip in church that had a cuss word in it. (Actually, I have never done that… I have tended to leave that to my lead pastor… he’s done that twice)!

The fact is, give it time and people get to see that you are not one of the Apostles and that you don’t stay awake 24 hours a day, and that you are not the answer they were looking for in a youthworker. It’s in these situations that you and I need to build what I call a ‘youth ministry fan base’.

A fan base is not an ego boost… The fan base are the people who have your back, who know you, who understand you vision, who see you and accept you for who you are. Our fan base will not only keep us encouraged, but will also keep us in healthy accountability. The fan base are the ones who speak for you at a church meeting or when a parent is concerned about you and their kids. The fan base can be the difference between short-lived ministry and a healthy long one. So how do I work on my ‘fan base’

1) Invest in the Leaders. Choose 4 or 5 influential people at your church, (in leadership or simply influential). Take them out for coffee and find out about them, ask them about their hopes and dreams for the church. Ask them how someone like you and I could do well there. Then, at the end of your time together, ask them if you can share your vision and dreams … (You will be surprised how your vision might be restated by someone like this at opportune time).

2) Invest in Parents. Parents need to be heard and need to know that we care. They need to know that we are reaffirming what they say at home to their kids. They only know we care if  we take time out. On a typical evening you will see that I spend 50% of my time talking to parents at the end of the program. These conversations are valuable to understand families and their dynamics, but also to build trust with parents. Here’s the other upside… some of those parents become your leaders, event planners, and food providers too. Hopefully, they are blessed, but so are our ministries.

3) Invest through the Generations. At my last church we had quite a large number of shall we say, ‘older folks’ who seemed to struggle with teenagers. (I am sure your church has similar issues). However, I quickly learned that it was important to seek out a few influential pensioners who could become ‘youth ministry fans’. It was just a question of taking time to talk with them about what the students were up to and what issues these kids face today. It’s amazing to see the walls come down when you share stories of kids joys and challenges to older folks. You see, it’s a lot harder to judge when you heart is hurting for kids…

4) The ‘Up Front’ Strategy. Work with you pastor and leadership to be ‘up front’ as often as your schedule allows, even if it is for the announcements on Sunday, or helping with a kids message. Whatever way you can, it pays to let people see you. At my current church I preach every couple of months, (it used to be every 5-6 weeks), and I regularly do announcements. Even if I am not doing either, you will always see me on the door greeting people as they leave. Even if I don’t feel like I know everyone, I have found that people feel connected with me because I am up front a quite a lot. When people feel like they know you, it’s harder for them to be a critic. Be strategic about being up front. 

More ‘Fan Base’ Ideas to come…

Phil <><

My church began just over 5 years ago with 30 people in a backyard of my pastors house. Since then we have met at 4 different locations (one house and 3 schools), as we have seen good growth occur. The student ministry program too has met in 3 different locations (houses and rented facilities), and has had to ’set up’ and ‘tear down’ every week just like ‘big church’ does. In March, all that changes for us… 

That’s when we get to move into a renovated office/warehouse building that will become our permanent home for church and student ministry. We never originally thought that we would buy and renovate so soon, but, being in Southeast Michigan we have seen many businesses move away and this facility was a great opportunity for us…

As we build and renovate this facility I have learned that 5 years of not having a full-time facility has allowed us to focus more on the people and less on a building. Sure, we have a place to meet and we have to set up and tear down every week, but the reality is that we cannot keep up with some of the amazing things that other churches do. Instead we have been forced to think and act simply. The results are: strong relationships with students, healthy growth in depth and numbers, and many many students who have been recruited to do ministry in a church plant situation. 

Someone once said, (I don’t have much of brain to remember who), that planting a church is like trying to build an airplane as it is rolling down the runway for take-off. I think that is a good analogy! Can you visualize what that might look like? I can right now… a bunch of guys and gals frantically working to put the pieces together that will ensure a safe takeoff… Can you imagine the urgency on their faces as they bolt things together?  

But here’s my question: 

What are their priorities to get done first? 

The most important things? 

Do you think they worry about the video system in the plane, or the comfort of the seats, or the color of the interior? Nope… They are concerned with getting the plane to take-off safely, (and of course), land safely too )

Being in a church plant has forced me to consider what matters most as I partner with great leaders to build a ministry. But it hasn’t always been this way… If you are like me, I have ministered at churches where I have got hung up on stuff that was not so important. Stuff that could best be described as ‘youth ministry fluff’. I have to confess that I have often spent too much time comparing my youth room with another church, or wishing I had more stuff or better space etc… Are you like me? Come on… let’s be honest )

In my time here so far, I have been blessed to see that ’stuff’ and ‘facilities’ only go so far to reaching and keeping students coming. What they desire (and need), goes so much deeper. I am so thankful for learning this lesson, and it is my goal to keep reminding myself of this as we move in March. 

I hope this is an encouragement to you as you reach and equip students. I hope you can relax and invest in what matters most and build a solid foundation wherever you are.

January 4th = The night before school gets back in the swing of things… Or a night when families are not back in the swing of things… 

Every year for the last few years I notice that attendance is down this weekend of the year for our high school program ‘EDGE’. On weeks like this I am concluding it’s ok (and better)  to use this to our advantage.

Rather than have a huge kick off and be dissapointed by turn out etc, I find it’s ok to accept what is going to be, and change up what we do a little. On nights like this we make them a ‘connections night’ where we have extended worship, more hang out time and we are intentional about having lots of varying games opportunities. We also have a message, but brief and to the point.

This is what we find happens:  The students actually seem to make the most of the relaxed atmosphere and  seem to connect real well with each other. But here’s another insight I saw tonight: Since we have less in the program schedule, the leaders have less programming to do and therefore spend more time with the students simply connecting.

In the last 6 months or so we have been intentional about creating these connections nights and it has really paid dividends for us. It has also been to good to mix up the pace for our leaders. They too need a night where they can focus on talking, laughing and praying with these students and not programming so much. As our students get used to these nights, they have also become a place where students know they can invite a friend to EDGE as a ‘first base’ event and then step into the usual program the week after… I wish I could say we planned that… we didn’t. 

Our typical ‘flow’ of what we do looks like this: 

Series kick off (big elements including band covers, videos etc)

3-4 week series. 

Connections Night

Back to series kick off…

Phil <><

Do you ever feel like ministry is like trying to chase cheese down a hill? It’s like you always have something more to do, always another student to meet with, another leader to train, another message to write… Or the church toilet to clean (after the middle school lock-in), the website to update, a boring church meeting to attend… you name it, it’s always a busy time in youth ministry.

So what do ya do when it gets crazy and busy? Here’s what I am learning to do: 

Two books have influenced me in the last few years that have been huge in discerning how to ‘get down the hill’ of ministry safely: 

1) What Matters Most by Doug Fields (pick it up at simplyyouthministry). When you discover what is most important in life and ministry, you are able to let the cheese roll away and not have to chase it. In other words, there will always be more to do and the reality is you can’t get it all done. You can either chase like crazy and not get it done anyways, (and in the process compromise your walk with God and your family), or you can take time out to discern what is truly important and ensure that these things get most of your energy, while less important things get delegated or put on the back burner. Doing this gives me great confidence to say, “great opportunity, but if I say yes to it, I will be saying no to something more important”. 

2) Eat That Frog,  by Brian Tracy: This book is practical and helps me in priorities and ensures that the ‘big frogs’ or the most important and challenging things get done first. It outlines practical steps that I can take to be organized. To say, “oh, I’m a youth worker and all youth workers are disorganized” is a cop out… that does not have to be true. And my effectiveness is tied to my planning and organization.

Nothing happens unless I am intentional… great events of tomorrow are planned today. 

Happy Reading 

PB