• Mid-November prior to Thanksgiving and the Christmas rush, (now). 
• Mid-March just before Easter and a new Spring season. 
• Late May / early June as we are slowing down and getting ready for the summer.-
• Early to mid-August as we evaluate the summer and get ready for the Fall kick off. 

Here’s some thoughts I have been considering. Feel free to give me more ideas!!!

1) Create Bible Study Opportunities That Will Place The Burden On Students: We are currently doing a summer series Bible study in the 1,2,3 John. At the start of the study we have given students a packet that has questions about the passages we are studying through. We set the expectation that everyone should be reading ahead on a weekly basis and showing up thoughts and ideas about the study. We communicate the excitement of group learning when we all show up with great insights!

2) Use Phrases That Constantly Communicate Self-Feeding Principles: Here are a couple I use: Christians are self-starters and self-feeders. We’re not here to help you become big fat baby Christians who are spoon fed, we are here to help become self-feeders. In many ways, it is about communicating a vision of self-feeding by constantly using key phrases to remind students of the expectation.

3) Give Students Bible Study / Devotion Materials To Take Home: This year I have been creating and adapting simple 30 day devotions for students to take home to use and study. The feedback I have been getting has been fanastic! In fact, when I don’t make these available now, students complain!

4) Have Self-Feeding Students Promote Self-Feeding: Here’s what I mean by this: There’s always students who are already reaping the benefits of being a self-feeder. They are growing in faith and experiencing a closer relationship with God as a result of self-feeding. My job is to find opportunities to get them in front of the rest of our students to talk about how, why, and the benefits of being a self-feeder. Recently, we did a series called “Slice of Life” where we interviewed students who shared how God has been working in their lives. In each video interview I asked every student what habits they practice to feed and fuel their faith. It was great to hear the many different and great ways that students are fueling their faith…

5) Involve Parents: Part of my ministry should be to partner with parents. One of the ways I try to help students become self-feeders is to involve their parents in the process. This involves casting vision for expectations that their kids should be benefiting from daily habits. It also will mean great communication with parents about resources we are providing their kids to help developing self-feeding habits as well as letting them know what we are teaching their kids on a weekly basis.

These are just a few methods I employ currently. What do you do? What ideas do you have? What should we be looking ahead to do? I would love to get your ideas on this. I truly believe that this is one of the most crucial elements of the ministries we oversee…

Phil <><

It was a BIG crash! The good people at the Apple store told me my hard drive is not recoverable. Ever have that happen? Believe it or not, this is the first time I have ever had a computer crash in this way… But here’s the bigger problem:

I AM PREACHING IN CHURCH THIS SUNDAY AND I JUST FINISHED WRITING MY SERMON ON THAT LAPTOP.  No back up, just some notes I had gathered on Evernote.

So, apart from backing up my sermon as I wrote, or writing it on a web-based application like Evernote, here is my BIG lesson I have learned:

“Owning” The Message And Preparing Well Is Helping Me Now:  It’s a pain to have to write it again, but ownership of the message will make it easier to write again.  In Communicating for a Change,  Andy Stanley talks about the importance of “owning” a message and internalizing the core of the message. He even goes so far as to say, why should people listen to us if we don’t own it ourselves? Since reading the book I have tried to ensure that I prepare in such a way, I could preach without notes if needed.

So, even though I have to write my sermon again. And even though I am crammed for time to do it before Sunday, I am thankful that I feel fairly confident that I own the message and have the big idea (and most of the points) in my head… Owning the message is imperative for our audience, but I found out today how helpful it is to write the same sermon again!

For now, here are 5 simple things I do in my writing process to help me “own” the message:

1) Pray: Obvious, yes. Crucial, for sure! Good prayer time saves time!  It’s easier to discern what God is wanting me to say. So often it’s easy to jump into research or even writing without considering what direction The Holy Spirit might want me to look in.  

2) Prepare: Lots of reading of commentaries around the passage or topic. (This really helps to solidify what I own and know). I use Logos for Mac.

3) Plan a Map: This is where I outline a starting and ending point for my message. In many ways, we take people on a journey with us. It’s important that we consider how to get them on the journey, how to keep them on the journey, and how they land at their destination.

4) Put it Together: I don’t write every word, I write an outline that is a detailed version of my map. (This is the part that is lost on my hard drive at the Apple Store).

5) Practice: This is perhaps my best way to own the message and internalize God’s Truth for myself as I preach. It also helps me to iron out transitions and make tweaks as I go. When I practice, I actually talk out the whole message from start to finish. I particularly focus on the take off and landing…

So, there you go. Not rocket science, but perhaps you have struggled in putting sermons together in the past. These 5 points really help me a great deal. Hope they can help you too in case you don’t backup your sermon as you write it!

Phil <><

UPDATE:

• My Macbook Pro will be in repair for a few days getting a new hard drive
• I backed up my Macbook 3 weeks ago…
• I started using a our student ministry Macbook Pro to finish my sermon… It crashed. Not kidding. Can’t get the thing to work!
• I wrote this post on my lovely wife’s laptop. Unfortunately the laptop is not very lovely. I need to buy her a new one!

For now, I think I could be thinking and writing about this question for a couple of weeks. I don’t think I can channel all my ADD thoughts into one post. Therefore, here’s a snapshot of some of the big chunks I have written about before that I consider youth ministry to be about. Let me know what you think?

1) Jesus Centered - Without Jesus being our center for all we do, we might as well be a club. I am sure that we all say that we are Jesus centered, but let’s be honest… It only takes a short while to get back to “what we know” and depend on our methods and skills. Soon, Jesus is taking a back seat. Numbers can increase, accolades can be given, but Jesus is the only one who will bring lasting change to our students lives.

2) Student Focused - Being student focused means taking a lot of time to get into their world and listen. Again, so often, it is easy to resort back to what we know and what has worked in the past. However, I find that God moves best when I listen to the heart of my students and what God is saying through them. In many ways, it’s similar to what Rick Warren says and how we should be catching the wave of what God is doing, rather than trying to create the wave. Some of our best events, service projects, and Bible studies have been a part of, have come from students.

3) A Greenhouse for Self-Feeders – I have a series coming up in a couple of weeks to talk about this more, but for now let me say this: Unless we are helping students to learn to become self-feeders who spend time with God when they are not with us, we are missing the point. Are we helping students to develop life-long habits to help them feed on God’s love, truth, and wisdom, or are they dependent on a weekly youth group meeting? If students are consumed with our weekly meeting but are spiritually starving during the week, we have missed the point… Just my opinion of course. More to come in a couple of weeks on this…

4) Parent Partnered – Parents spend so much more time with their kids than I do. So many parents under estimate their impact on their kids too. I firmly believe that I should do all I can to make parents the hero to their kids, not me. The more that I can encourage, support, and equip parents at home, should result in greater growth and impact for our students. If I am honest, this is one component I see to lacking in so many ministries. Personally, I am not happy with how much we currently do… It is a goal of mine this year to partner with parents in greater ways…

What is Youth Ministry to you? What did I miss? There’s a whole lot, I know! For now, these are my big chunks… What are yours? Post your comments!

Phil <><

1) Spending Quality Time With My Family: I am off for two days,  which also means my phone is off, my Facebook is closed, and my email has not been touched. I was away from my family for a week and I was busy prior to the trip. Therefore it’s imperative they get the best of me now that I am home. (As I write this, my kids are in bed, and my wife is working, which means no time away from them, just in case you wondered . Giving my family my best and complete attention is imperative. While I was away doing exciting things in Tennessee, they were back home missing me. Therefore, they should not have to “miss” me now that I am home…

2) Rest: Working everyday for 16 hours over a week can take its toll… I loved every minute, but I was beat when I returned home. Leading a large team of students and leaders meant being “on call” continuously. My goal this week is to spend time “calling on Him” and rejuvenating.

3) Thank You Notes: So many incredible people gave so much to make this trip happen, especially a dedicated team of volunteers who took time off work and their own families for the week. It’s imperative that I let them know how much I appreciate them! When I get back into the office, this is a priority for me.

4) Making Videos, Sharing Photos, Telling the Stories: After the trip is over, it’s imperative that parents and supporters continue to hear the stories of what was achieved on the trip. Again, once I get back in the office, I will be working on sharing videos, photos and stories. We have a Facebook page and mission trip blog for this type of stuff and we will also have an opportunity to share with the whole church at later date.

5) Reviewing: This week I will be writing notes about the trip and ensuring that key learning’s are noted while they are still fresh for me. So often this is something that is missed in the mission trip process. However, this is a crucial step that can ensure a more effective mission trip for the future.

UPDATED:

Well, there is one very important thing I missed out of this list that my wife has reminded me of… Today, I am finishing up my laundry and getting my bags all unpacked. The last thing my lovely wife needs when I get home is a huge load of stinky, bug infested laundry, (we had a lot of bugs in our cabins… a Daddy Long Legs walked across my face one night… nice)!

What are priorities for you when you return from a mission trip?

Phil <><

However, one aspect that can get overlooked, is the importance of communication during the week of the trip. This includes daily updates, blogs, photos etc. Good communication from the trip helps in so many ways:

• Families can pray specifically
• It calms the nerves of worried parents
• It promotes God’s work
• It creates “bridges” of communication between parents and students once the trip has ended
• It can involves students (as they blog and post photos)
• It keeps fundraising families in the loop as they hear the progress of students which they supported

Here’s just a few ways we are communicating with families while we are away:

1) A Daily Blog: It’s easy to set up a basic blog through WordPress or Blogger. Every day, we plan to have a couple of students blog about the work and experiences they are having. We set a blog up a few months ago to communicate the details of the trip, as well as creating interest for parents and financial supporters. Here is a very basic blog we set up: http:TN2011.com

2) A Facebook Page: This page is best to update with photos and quick updates. Students love tagging themselves in photos, and this will help promote ongoing conversations afterwards. Most of all, it will help parents and supporters to get a sense for the area and the work we will be doing. Here’s our Facebook page we just created last weekend: http://facebook.com/TN2011cbc

3) Text Message Service: We use Simply Youth Ministry Text service and will be using this for quick prayer requests and updates for parents during the day. This is a great way to get people praying throughout the day.

4) Prayer Schedule: Every parent of a teen who is attending this trip has received a prayer schedule. It’s basically a schedule of the week with specifics for what we are doing each day. We encourage parents to be praying on a daily basis.

What do you do to communicate while you are on a mission trip?

Phil <><

I really liked your blog posts about us dealing with the sports in the schools.  I think we do a decent job of working around the game schedules, but what is terribly frustrating for me is the dreaded “open gym” in the school… The girls basketball coach just posted the spring open gym times for the basketball team.  All of these practices directly conflict with the high school youth group and start this Sunday and go until school gets out.  But I wouldn’t really begin to call these gym times “open” at all.  The coach demands that everyone be in attendance.  So starting this Sunday through the rest of the school year, I will have lost roughly 50% of my regular attenders because a lot of the girls in my youth group are in basketball.  I want to be supportive of the team and the girls in sports, but his actions make it incredibly hard to do so.

Here’s a reply I gave him. But what about you? Can you help?

PRAY: Pray that God would soften the heart of this coach to make changes. Just like Nehemiah, ask for God to give you favor. Simple truth, but something I often forget. Sometimes, It’s easy to get upset with the situation and  just charge in with no wisdom…

GET PARENT HELP? What do parents think and feel about this? Rather than get them upset, simply ask parents how they feel about their kids missing? I would be looking to gather info from them and if they gave me the consensus that they too are unhappy, I would attempt to get them to approach the coach first. If there is a large number of kids missing youth group for this, I have seen before how parents can sway a coach to make changes. ALL coaches can be swayed and parents are most coaches biggest fear. Just like we fear unhappy parents, so do coaches! In addition, if open gym is every night, I am sure that some parents already struggle with that schedule anyway. You might be helping some good discussions to be instigated? Make sense?

TALK TO YOUR PASTOR: Let him know what you are actively doing in talking to parents and this coach. Let him know you expect your numbers to drop. It’s important that he is at least in the loop. He could even become an advocate for you, but at least he will be aware of why your numbers drop every Spring.

What would you add to help this guy? What has worked for you in these situations?

1) Schedule Way in Advance / Look at Important Schedules: It’s hard to cover all the bases, but anytime we are planning an event or retreat, we try to avoid major events at school and within our church. The key however, is to plan this way in advance. School and sports schedules (not practices in my experience), are usually posted a couple of months in advance. I try to schedule events 2-3 months in advance, (our mission trip date was given 9 months in advance).  This gives parents a great deal of notice, and communicates that we want to help them by getting important events on their schedule. You might consider this a little too diligent, but is working for me… try it?

2) Make it Easy for Students to Come: I live in an area and am part of a church that is BIG into sports. When I arrived here I was shocked that every Wednesday for our large group gathering we fed the kids dinner! (I had never been at church that made dinner every week for students). However, one of my leaders told me this: “So many of these kids come straight from practice or games, if we didn’t feed them, we wouldn’t see them”. Students give a buck or two to cover about a third of our costs, and I have recruited some great parents to make food every week… We have doubled our numbers in the last year… Food makes it easier for students to show up. Think about what you can do to make it easier for students to come?

3) Get on Campus if They Can’t Come to You: We have to face the reality that students are on campus more and more these days. We must see ourselves as missionaries on campus. If students can’t get to you, go and see them. Showing up at a game, taking a picture of them, and then posting (and tagging it) on Facebook goes a long way. When the season is done, guess who they come and see?

4) Give Grace and Gain a Following: What I mean by this is pretty simple. When parents see us as a partner to helping them figure out their schedules, they will more likely trust us and want to work with us in the future. At times, even if I don’t agree with a decision, I will choose to give grace as much as I can. Parents (and students) need to see the contrast of the demanding “no grace given” sports world compared to the gracious ministries we run.

5) Give Yourself a Break, You Can’t Please Everyone: Bottom line, we can’t please everyone. Do your best, and hand off responsibility to families to make their own choices. As per my previous post, we are not here as the primary disciple makers, we are here to partner with parents who are the primary disciple makers.

6) Give Good Boundaries: For Retreats and Trips I stipulate a leaving time and an arriving back time. If a parent / student cannot make that time, I leave the decision with them and place the responsibility on them to decide what to do.

7) Give Ownership Back to Parents: We do our best to schedule retreats around important games and school events, but it’s impossible to keep everyone happy. If a parent says they cannot make the leaving time due to sports games, I give them ownership of the problem by asking them if they can drive their student later. Recently, I had a parent drive her son and another student 3 hours to a retreat…

8 ) Get Feedback: Simple principle, but is something I see missed by so many youth workers. Have we actually taken time to ask parents what days and times are best for their students? If not, perhaps this is something simple we can do. However, we must be careful not to fall into the trap of trying make it work for everyone.

What do you do to make sports and ministry work? I would love to hear your ideas?

Phil <><

The big takeaway for me was this: Effective training is better when it is simple, memorable, and practical. Volunteers are busy and have many to plates to spin. It’s better to give them small steps or give them small bites to chew on. Over time, I am finding the small steps add up to significant impact!

As we consider the simple, memorable and practical principle, here are some training I will be giving my volunteers about how best to use their time to impact students lives. (This is something a learned a while back from one of Doug Fields books): 

The Time Issue: Because it is likely we only have few hours a week and a few years with these students (as well as having many students to minister to), it is crucial that we use our time wisely and well. Here are 3 periods of time to consider:

1) The First Fifteen Minutes: At our youth program, I consider the first minutes to be the  most important time. Often, it will be the first fifteen minutes that will communicate whether or not we really care as students arrive. It is usually the time when students are most nervous about walking into a room full of people (or empty with just me or you). Therefore, as leaders, even if we have not seen each other since the weekend, it is important that we do not get caught up in “leader conversations” as students arrive. Secondly, it’s important that we look out for nervous or introverted students as they arrive. You can’t take back a bad welcome…

2) The Last 15 Minutes: The last fifteen minutes is often where I see students most open to God’s working in their lives. It is here where they will be most comfortable and will be processing what they have heard from the message / study. But, if you are like me, as the evening starts to wrap up, I am already thinking about evaluating what happened and begin conversations with leaders about how things went for them. However, it is important that we look to seek out students and check-in with how they are doing. It is here that we most likely to hear from their heart and be able to minister most effectively to them.

3) The Next 15 – 60 Minutes: What I mean by this is the next contact time opportunity with students outside of programs and events. It is often challenging to know how to reach students outside of your programs with limited time. However, I find that it is small (but impacting) times with students that make a huge difference.  Examples like:

• Show up to the last part of a sports game if you have a busy week. (Make sure your student knows you were there – take a photo on your phone and tag the student on Facebook to let them know you were there – and their parents too!).
• Send a note in the mail. With all the modes of communication we have, I find this to be the one students love the most. Everyone loves to get mail
• Facebook, text, tweet! Letting students know you were praying for them, encouraging them, or just saying “hi” all go a long way to communicate care to them. Caution: Be careful of getting into deep conversations online and ensure that their parents are OK with you communicating with them this way.
• Grab a coke or coffee with them, (same sex only).
• Take them grocery shopping with you… free “kid control” if you have kids!

I am sure you have better ideas than these, and I know they are not rocket science, but I have found that these are simple but effective ways to build relationships that lead to faith conversations and beyond… The challenge is to realize that time is limited and we must make the most of crucial times…

Phil <><

It’s God’s design that parents disciple their kids, (Deuteronomy 6:7). Unfortunately, many models of youth ministry either take over the role of parents, or do not intentionally partner with parents to support them. Given that parents spend so much more time with their kids than I do, I must invest in parents knowing that I am utimately helping my students more effectively.

Here’s aspects I am working on to create a Family Focused Student Ministry that partners with parents and does not replace them:

1) Remind Parents Of My Job (And Theirs): I am constantly telling parents, “I am here to partner with you and not replace you… I am here to support and reinforce what you are already teaching your kids at home.” It’s my supportive way to let parents know I am in this to support them, but also to remind them of their role too. I find this phrase does not threaten parents who are not keeping their role, it usually spurs them on to take a more active role in discipling their kids.

2) Communication: Given busy schedules, I over communicate as much as possible. We text (Simply Youth Ministry), email (Mailchimp), facebook, use the church bulletin, (a few parents read that), a monthly parent newsletter (through ParentLink), flyers, and constant conversations. Because parents have so many messages, emails and information coming their way, it’s pertinent that I over communicate. When I do this it gives parents confidence in my ministry and helps them plan well…

3) Schedule in Way In Advance: Not every parent looks way ahead in their schedule, but the ones who do really appreciate it when I give them good notice. Events like mission trips or weekend retreats or summer events seem to be most important. In addition, when I plan far ahead, parents will often bend and flex to make the church event work in their schedule. When I schedule late, too bad! Being family focused means I must consider their schedules first…

4) Recruits Great Parent Leaders To Minister To Parents: I am a father of 2 kids under 5, but I do not know what it feels like to be a parent of a teen. Even though I can talk to parents as the “expert” on their teenager, there is still a big piece of the puzzle missing. I have been very intentional about recruiting great “been there, seen it” parents who can come alongside the parents of teenagers in my ministry.

5) Promote Parenting Resources: I am constantly posting books and resources on facebook for my parents to read. I am aware that many parents follow me on facebook and I use this to give them ideas about books and websites that will be helpful to them. My favorite sites to point parents to are: homeword.com and cpyu.org. Currently the two books I am promoting to parents are two books by Dr. Jim Burns from Homeword: Teenology and Faith Conversations for Families

6) Quarterly Parent Meetings: We meet after church while everyone is on campus, we keep the meetings short, and we make them worthwhile by focusing on issues that parents are yearning to know.

7) Meet with Them: This might seem obvious, but I know it can be scary for some youth workers to meet with parents. A lot of the time I find they just want to get to know me and want to be heard. Just like teens, parents don’t care what you know until they know that you care…

8.) Praise them: Parenting teens can be a huge rollercoaster for our parents with more “downs” than “ups” at times. It’s important to see myself as a cheerleader to the parents. Building them up gives them confidence and valuable support. Don’t underestimate just how much it means to them when the “expert” on teens tells them what a great job they are doing!

Well, there is a lot more to say, but these are the main pieces I am working on. How about you?

Tomorrow: Family Focused Student Ministry – Part 5: Students

Phil <><