In seasons like this it’s time to breathe, time to learn, and time to look forward. 

TIME TO BREATHE: The last couple of months have been very busy, but it means everything to stop and be filled up instead of running on empty. The last two weeks I have had to be very intentional to calve out time to be alone, read God’s Word, and be silent. It’s not easy, but it’s essential. It’s challenging to slow down when there are so many things to get done and so many people to keep happy. However, hanging in the long-haul and being effective in the short-term depends on our dependence on God. We must be ruthless with our schedules and intentional about taking time to breathe with our Father. 

TIME TO LEARN: As I take time to breathe, I am able to look back and learn from the last couple of months.  I realize there are a lot of things out of my control, but there were many things I have learned from my busy season:

- I have said “yes” to too many projects and people. It’s important to come back to a narrowed focus and challenge myself to “major in the majors, and minor in the minors…”

- No matter how much came up, it was important to change up my schedule to support my family. Even when stuff was piling up, I made sure my family did not get my left-overs…

- I need more sleep! Going to bed earlier in the last week has helped me become more efficient, more focused, and more excited about my day? Do you need more sleep?

- I need to exercise more! Working out helps me feel better and more energized. When life gets busy, my health takes a back seat… This needs to stop. The past week has been full of healthy eating and exercise. It is helping my energy levels and productivity and thus I am getting more done in less time…

A TIME TO LOOK FORWARD: Anytime I am in the midst of chaos and busy schedules, it’s important that I slow down, but it’s important that I look forward to ensure the coming months are different. Here’s what I have been doing:

- Getting the family schedule mapped out for the next few months and making family and date nights a priority. Last weekend my wife and I went out for a date and then went to Starbucks to put our calendars together…

- Planning and booking our 10 year wedding anniversary getaway!

- Getting excited about The Simply Youth Ministry Conference in March! Are you going? I am super excited. The theme: Breathe

- Planning time off after our winter retreat…

These are just a few things I have been convinced I need to do to hang in for the long-haul, be more effective today, and enjoy my life a little more? What have you had to do in your life and ministry to stay healthy?

Phil <><

For me recently, I have been evaluating my teaching and programs and I am concluding that some of our teaching isn’t essential. It’s good yes, but essential, no. Given that my total teaching time with my high school students will be around about 50-60 hours per year, I must be ruthless in getting rid of teaching that could be good, but not essential when all is said and done. I am must work equally hard in adding material that is essential to the specific group of students I am working with. Here’s what I can do to ensure that I am hitting the most important and applicable areas:

1) ESSENTIAL AREAS OF TEACHING: Write down the top ten areas that every student in your program needs to know by the time they graduate or “move up”. Look at what you teach in a 3-5 year period and make sure these top-ten areas are included first. This process should take a few months to come up with as you prayerfully consider these areas.

2) ESSENTIAL BIBLE BOOKS: Write down the most essential books of the Bible that you need to cover in a 3-5 year period and map out a provisional a plan. Be sure to have a balance in Old Testament / New Testament material.

3) BALANCED PROGRAMS: Create a clear balance of programs that “fire fight” the issues students are facing as well as environments that help students to “fire prevent” by teaching foundational theology and doctrine. For us, we have two weekly meetings. One is topical and mostly issue related (I call this “fire fighting”), while the other is clearly foundational faith building (I call this “fire preventing”).

4) ASK STUDENTS: Every few months, ask them what issues they and their friends are facing and create a “moving plan” that will hit the felt needs of the students. When we hit their issues and felt needs, they usually will learn more. These messages are presented in our midweek program that tackles topical issues in students lives. I survey my students once a year and I ask them every few months what areas / issues / topics they need to learn about.

5) ASK YOURSELF: Are you simply following a curriculum plan that someone else created for you, or whether you are giving your students the essentials that is specific to your group of students?

6) INVOLVE OTHERS: As noted above, I ask students continuously, but it’s essential to gain the insight and opinions of other youth workers in your ministry. Ask God to speak through the people who are working with your specific group of students and evaluate what you need to change and tweak. It’s imperative that we realize that we need to create a custom program for our specific group of students and not rely on someone else’s research that worked for their ministry in a different context. Too often we rely on curriculum and a scope and sequence that worked somewhere else, but maybe not for us. With all this said, I do you use curriculum regularly, but I tend to pick and choose what I feel we need for my group and dismiss what is not needed…

A hard question I must ask you today is this: Are you simply going through the motions of using a canned curriculum, or are you really seeking to create a custom program that is best for your specific context, environment, and students God has called you to minister to?

Finally, feel free to share any ideas as to how you create a balanced program with essential teaching?

Phil <><

Eat that Frog is a fantastic book that will serve you well in your ministry. The premise behind the book is this:

There’s a saying that says, “If the first thing you do each morning is to eat a live frog, you can go through the day with the satisfaction of knowing that that is probably the worst thing that is going to happen to you all day long! Your ”FROG” is the one you are most likely to procrastinate on if you don’t do something about it now…” 

It is also the task that is the biggest task to get done and is easy to put off for easier tasks… But doing the easier tasks will not help you in the long-term… By eating that frog in my ministry, I am finding that I get more done these days.

Check out the website for this book. There’s a cool video that will give you greater insight too: http://www.eatthatfrogmovie.com/

It’s times like this when it’s easy to get overwhelmed and feel like we are drowning in a sea of administration and programatic mess. It’s times like these when we have to become ruthless and focused to get back on top of youth ministry management. Here are a few things I am doing to get back on top of things:

1) Take Regular Rests: Not what you were expecting? But, this is the most cruciall step for me. It’s been a busy season and it’s easy to become inefficient and sloppy when I get tired. At times like this I need to ensure that I am resting in order to work more effectively, efficiently, and conscientiously when I am in the office.

2) Be Ruthless: At the beginning of a typical week I take my google task list and move all the most important tasks to the top of the lists. For me, these always include: a) Contact time with students and leaders. b) Message writing c) Meeting planning. Everything else gets bumped until the major things are done. It’s then I get to my admin and emails etc.

3) Check Email Infrequently: If you have email on your phone this is a hard one to do. However, I find it best to check my email in chunks at certain times of the day. Usually I would check it 4-5 times a day when I have more time, but for now I find myself checking email twice a day. It’s also worth noting that we can become easily unfocused by constant new tasks that come our way through email. It’s better to dictate your email than let email dictate your task list…

4) Don’t Reply to Every Email and Phone Call Instantly: There are some emails and phone calls that are important, granted. However, not every phone call is an emergency and not every email needs immediate attention. Wherever I can, I try to add the emails and voicemails to my task list and “chunk them out” at a later time.

5) ‘Chunk Out’ Emails and Phone Calls Together: As I said above, I try to add emails and voicemails to my task list and get them done together. I typically have Tuesdays as my admin and meeting day. It is here where I try to get back to people and ensure they hear from me.

6) Communicate Your Schedule: Ensure that key people know you are in a crunch and will likely take a little longer to get back to them in the next few weeks while you get back on top of things, (Just don’t take a few weeks to get back to them though)!

7) Don’t Waste Your Time: I often here people complain about being too busy to be able to catch up, yet they are still able to write on everyone’s Facebook wall or play XBOX 360. In seasons of busyness, it’s imperative that we ruthless in every way. It also means giving up a few home comforts in order that we can get back on top of things.

Delegate! Recruit people to help you with as many things you can hand off. Know that it might not be done the way you want it to be done, but at least it’s getting done. I am always presently surprised how much ownership and fulfillment it brings to people when they know have helped me at busy and messy time. Bless someone by letting them help you!

Well, that’s what I am working on… How about you? What tips do you have? 

Phil <><

If you are a youth worker, you and your ministry will be disorganized… 

I never forget a one of my former students commending me for my organization of an event saying,”wow, for a youth pastor you are pretty organized, I didn’t expect that”! And, here are some more examples: 

• In youth ministry circles, we proudly brag about our amazing ability to be able to “wing” anything. We almost wear our disorganization as a badge of honor…
• How many times do we start writing a messages just a couple of hours before we meet with our students?
• How many times have we been chewed out by a parent for our lack of communication?
• How many conflicts have occurred in our marriages because we left something to the last minute and took away hours from our loved ones?
• How many times have we double booked ourselves needlessly? 

If you are like me, being disorganized in youth ministry has been something I have laughed about, but it has also been the source of great pain. For some of my youth ministry friends, it has also been the source of losing their job. But, does it have to be this way? Are all youth workers naturally disorganized?  If we are not the “organized type”, should we simply accept chaos as part of our ministry reality? The answers to these questions should be NO!

Whether you are naturally organized or not, we do not have to live out the myth of disorganization. There are ways to improve and raise the bar of our ministries through good organization. Ultimately, if we want to have an effective ministry, we should work on our organization…

Here are some ways we can beat the disorganized myth: 

1) Surround Yourself with Organized People: I have a few people who help me plan events, plan the schedule, and take care of many details. Recently we did a large mission trip that required a lot of communication and organization. I recruited a leader (and she is also a parent), to be my primary organizer who ensured that the details were handled and effectively communicated.

2) Recruit Parents to be your “Ears”: I have asked parents to help me ensure we are communicating and supporting other parents well in the details. I have asked them to contact me anytime we are not effectively communicating, or if the details are coming across in a “muddy” way.

3) Set Aside Time to Organize: Simple, but effective. I have found that even though it’s not always easy to be naturally organized, it is imperative to set aside time to plan and take care of details. Most Tuesdays after staff meetings is my block of time where I do admin, planning, and organizing. Putting aside my pride and asking parents for this kind of help is far better than getting chewed out by a parent who stressed out and is trying to balance a hectic family schedule.

4) Practice Planning Ahead: I use the word practice, because I don’t think it’s easy for all of us to perfect planning ahead. However, I want to challenge you to get into the habit of planning at least 3-6 months ahead on your calendar and consider the best dates for your events. When we plan ahead it’s easier to identify possible conflicts and it can be more effective to recruit leaders for our events and programs.

5) Ask Your Spouse / Family for Help: My wife is fantastic at being organized and has helped me a great deal over the years. But more importantly, she is someone who gets to see my ministry schedule before it gets published for others to see. My wife knows my strengths and weaknesses and knows how much I can take on. She is the one who helps me to consider possible pitfalls and conflicts in my schedule and organization. Perhaps the most important aspect is the permission I give her to veto anything on the schedule that is going to be unhealthy for our family. (I learned this principle from Dr. Jim Burns of Homeword).

6) Don’t Make Excuses: Finally, I hate to even say this, but too many of us are using this myth as an excuse for being completely disorganized. What’s even harder to say is this: Sometimes laziness compels are to be disorganized and laziness compels us to use this myth as an excuse. “I’m in youth ministry… we are all disorganized… it’s part of job…” Is this just a lazy excuse? If I am honest, there have been many times when I have used this excuse because of laziness… How about you?

So, what are you doing to raise the bar of professionalism in your ministry? How organized do you need to be? What steps do you need to take to have a healthier ministry and family? Who helps you stay organized? What methods, devices, or technology are you using to keep you organized?

Phil <><

I remember how easy it was to feed my kids when they first came home from the hospital?  They cried and I just popped a bottle in there and the noise magically stopped.  And then there was the initial excitement when they started holding the bottle on their own!!  FREEDOM!  Not only could I pop the bottle in to stop the crying – now I could walk away!  My kids were finally feeding themselves!!

Then I realized the shocking truth!  It was only an illusion of self-feeding.  Just because a baby can hold his own bottle does NOT mean he is feeding himself.  I was still prepping that bottle for him – making sure it was disinfected and the contents were fresh and safe.  The milk was safely contained – only available when the baby applied the right amount of pressure in the right places.

Is that my youth ministry?  Give the kids a bottle so they don’t make noise…and if I’m really progressive, let them hold their own bottles?  What happens when that safe, prepared bottle runs out of milk?  Just refill it and stick it back in?  If you’ve ever parented – you know that doesn’t work for long….

Eventually babies grow up.  Milk is no longer enough to satiate their appetites.  I vividly remember the day I first started giving my son a little cereal with the bottle?  He was growing up and I was so proud!  He was finally getting REAL food.  Man food.  He would soon be a carnivore!!  Maybe, but it was still safe – spoon feeding – baby food.  It was easy to swallow.  Knowing that nothing on earth would make mashed up peas from a jar attractive to my son, I packaged it in the fun of a spoon becoming an airplane flying into the hangar.  And lo and behold – he was still fully dependent on me.  I made the cereal.  I bought the baby food.  I sat at his high chair and made it attractive.  I shoveled it in…

Is that my youth ministry?  Play games and shovel in food, whether the kids like it or not – and just hope and pray that they get some of the nutrients they need to sustain themselves? Sooner or later, kids want to crawl out of that high chair and make their own food….

Using a parental perspective on youth ministry, helping students self-feed might look a little bit like this.  After we progress from the bottle and baby food, we give them Cheerios.  It’s virtually mess-free.  It helps improve their dexterity.  It’s easy clean-up and not ridiculously unhealthy.   We remove the bottle and offer them a sippie-cup instead – it still offers the protection of a lid, but kids have to learn a new way of drinking from it.  And if they leave it sitting improperly, it could get messy.  We start moving in spoons, plates, lid-less cups, bibs…and it gets messy.  They throw food on the walls.  They miss their mouths.  They may even occasionally give up and go back to eating with their hands for a time.

And what do we do as youth pastors?  We embrace that!  We LOVE that!  We facilitate that.  We sit near the high chair and watch as they learn to become self-feeders.

My kids are all in high school now.  If they’re hungry – they make a sandwich.  They can cook.  They clean up their dishes following a meal.  They know how to use napkins if they make a mess.  And I am here to help them when they try out new dishes….

THAT’s true youth ministry – and the kind I want to perpetuate!  I want to be a youth pastor that sits next to the high chair while they make a complete and utter mess of ‘learning’ how to feed themselves. And that’s really dirty business that usually sees a lot of stains and requires a lot of clean up along the way. And that’s OK – I like messy. I love the ‘AFV’ moments where the kids have spaghetti in their hair, on the wall, coming out of their nose. It’s then that I truly see their faith maturing, growing, and becoming their own.  Soon, they’ll become truly independent….completely feeding themselves.  And I am quite confident that their ‘messes’ will have equipped them to teach someone else how to hold a spoon…..and that’s the mess – and beauty – of true ministry.

Darren is a veteran youth pastor in Corpus Christi, TX, and co-hosts a weekly podcast for parents of teenagers (http://www.facebook.com/mipodcast) with his wife, Katie. You can catch his blog at www.everyonescalledtoyouthministry.com and follow him on twitter @darrensutton.

It was a BIG crash! The good people at the Apple store told me my hard drive is not recoverable. Ever have that happen? Believe it or not, this is the first time I have ever had a computer crash in this way… But here’s the bigger problem:

I AM PREACHING IN CHURCH THIS SUNDAY AND I JUST FINISHED WRITING MY SERMON ON THAT LAPTOP.  No back up, just some notes I had gathered on Evernote.

So, apart from backing up my sermon as I wrote, or writing it on a web-based application like Evernote, here is my BIG lesson I have learned:

“Owning” The Message And Preparing Well Is Helping Me Now:  It’s a pain to have to write it again, but ownership of the message will make it easier to write again.  In Communicating for a Change,  Andy Stanley talks about the importance of “owning” a message and internalizing the core of the message. He even goes so far as to say, why should people listen to us if we don’t own it ourselves? Since reading the book I have tried to ensure that I prepare in such a way, I could preach without notes if needed.

So, even though I have to write my sermon again. And even though I am crammed for time to do it before Sunday, I am thankful that I feel fairly confident that I own the message and have the big idea (and most of the points) in my head… Owning the message is imperative for our audience, but I found out today how helpful it is to write the same sermon again!

For now, here are 5 simple things I do in my writing process to help me “own” the message:

1) Pray: Obvious, yes. Crucial, for sure! Good prayer time saves time!  It’s easier to discern what God is wanting me to say. So often it’s easy to jump into research or even writing without considering what direction The Holy Spirit might want me to look in.  

2) Prepare: Lots of reading of commentaries around the passage or topic. (This really helps to solidify what I own and know). I use Logos for Mac.

3) Plan a Map: This is where I outline a starting and ending point for my message. In many ways, we take people on a journey with us. It’s important that we consider how to get them on the journey, how to keep them on the journey, and how they land at their destination.

4) Put it Together: I don’t write every word, I write an outline that is a detailed version of my map. (This is the part that is lost on my hard drive at the Apple Store).

5) Practice: This is perhaps my best way to own the message and internalize God’s Truth for myself as I preach. It also helps me to iron out transitions and make tweaks as I go. When I practice, I actually talk out the whole message from start to finish. I particularly focus on the take off and landing…

So, there you go. Not rocket science, but perhaps you have struggled in putting sermons together in the past. These 5 points really help me a great deal. Hope they can help you too in case you don’t backup your sermon as you write it!

Phil <><

UPDATE:

• My Macbook Pro will be in repair for a few days getting a new hard drive
• I backed up my Macbook 3 weeks ago…
• I started using a our student ministry Macbook Pro to finish my sermon… It crashed. Not kidding. Can’t get the thing to work!
• I wrote this post on my lovely wife’s laptop. Unfortunately the laptop is not very lovely. I need to buy her a new one!

Before I go on, it’s important to point out that I do spend a good amount of time in my office at church, and I love working with a great team of people. It’s also imperative that I spend a good amount of time in the office to stay connected and communicate what is happening in my ministry while also hearing about others ministry areas. But, for now, let me share 8 good reasons for why I think it’s also important for me to spend time working at Starbucks too…

1) It’s a Great Place to Meet Leaders and Students: Being able to hang out in a coffee house can feel more relational and a lot more relaxing for the people I meet. It beats the church office any day, especially when I buy the coffee!

2) I Get to Meet People in My Community: All the staff at Starbucks and many of the locals know me by face and name. They know I am a pastor and they know I am the “British guy”. Often these two distinguishing factors open the door to some great conversations once people get to know me…

3) I Get to See People from Church: Spending time in the local coffee house gives me so many opportunities to connect with people from our church. The local Starbucks is a couple of miles from our church and many of our members stop by during the day. It’s just another opportunity to meet and connect with them outside of Sundays.

4) I Get to Hear How People Live: As a pastor, it can be easy to live in a Christian bubble and forget how people outside the church think and feel. When I am at coffee houses, I am no longer surprised by the stories and information I hear. People seem to relax and share their deepest joys and struggles at Starbucks as they sit with their best friends. It’s not like I am listening in to everyone’s conversations, I just pick up pieces here and there. Bottom line is this: I get to sit at the steps of peoples lives and understand their their real issues. Ultimately, it gives me great insight in how to reach the non-churched and understand their deepest needs.

5) People Get to Hear About My Church: Over the years I have been surprized by the amount of times people ask me about my ministry and church. Here’s what happens: I will meet with one of my leaders and people close by will get to overhear my conversations. Often, after my leader has left, someone might lean over and say, “Are you a pastor… what church are you at”? The following few minutes are always an incredible opportunity to share about God, my church, and what I do. In my last church, on one occassion, two families began attending the church from one conversation. One of them was a young single mom who eventually accepted Christ. You just never know who might be listening in…

6) I Can Focus Better: Believe it or not, I get more done at Starbucks than anywhere else. I admit it, I am a social butterfly and I love the people I work with! At my office, I find it hard to get writing and planning done because I always want to interact with my friends there. Any time I have writing or planning to do, I find it easier to get away to Starbucks, plug in my headphones and tune into an incredible world of focus with worship music.

7) I Love Coffee! Yes, it’s true, even though I am British and love a good cuppa tea, I love to drink a good cuppa Joe too.

I Need Coffee: I have two young kids who wake up in the night a lot of the time. I often feel like I need the coffee. Ever feel this way?

Working at my local Starbucks allows me to connect with so many people while also getting so much accomplished. As mentioned in the beginning, do not neglect your time in your first office, and make sure you always communicate with other staff where you will be working.

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Phil <><

Has youth ministry become more complex than it needs to be?

Do we get swept away by the complexity of adolescent lives and feel the need to provide complex answers and solutions?

Have we become too focused on other ministries ideas and try to copy every idea for our own ministries?

Do we personally cram in way too much into our ministry schedule, our personal schedule, and our family schedule?

Have “blessings” become “curses” for us who are in ministry?

Are we in search for the newest or latest thing, but miss out on oldest yet, brightest truth?

Does it feel like we have “knock the ball out the park” every week to be successful?

Back to Basics? Does youth ministry really have to be so complex and stressful? Is it time to step back and take a fresh look at what we do and what matters most? Is it time to see that the best answers in youth ministry can be found in the most simple, yet powerful ideas and practices? For me, whenever ministry gets complex and overwhelming, I have to remind myself to come back to these foundational ministry values: 1) Students need Jesus, 2) they need my time, 3) they need my ears… Coming back to these basic principles is my compass in the storm of complexity…

1) Jesus Centered: Will we make a greater impact when we get back to basics by telling students who Jesus really is without having to make Him great. As Doug Fields said recently at SYMC, “We don’t have to make Jesus awesome, He already is”. Is it OK to strip away all the media and glitz and tell His story as it is? Do we somehow believe that His life and teachings are not enough on it’s own?

2) Take the Time: So many students have busy families and crave quality time. They need leaders and caring adults who can take the time to encourage them and build them up. Recently someone asked me, “what is the best way to minister to students?” My answer was simple: “Give them something the world cannot offer them… give them your time…”

3) Listen to Them: This might seem so simple that you might be tempted to think it’s pointless to read further. However, do we really listen to students? Are our conversations more about talking to them, than asking about them? If we want students to listen to our messages and insights, we must first listen to them and give them our ears first. This is so simple, but when we truly listen to students we get an insight to their heart, their hurts, and their dreams. From there, we can more effectively help them. How well are we truly listening?

There’s always more to do. There’s always someone to keep happy. There’s always a new idea or new program. When I get overwhelmed it’s important for me to come back to basics and concentrate on what matters most. When all is said and done, what one or two things should be your “back to basics compass” in the storms of complexity?

Phil <><

These were the hard, but truthful, words my wife spoke as she shared her frustrations of being married to an overscheduled youth pastor.

It wasn’t like I didn’t see it coming… Over many months I had blurred the lines of ministry and family. I had created an unhealthy ministry schedule in a church that was exploding with growth. My overscheduled ministry had become the enemy of healthy family time. I knew in my heart there were things I needed to change.

I had been to conferences that told me to create boundaries and to take care of my family. Even though I knew simple changes would make all the difference, I was allowing the complexity of ministry to lead the way for my family. It took a difficult reality and painful words to begin a new direction…

Here’s what I discovered: When I schedule what matters most for my family, we stay healthier and I minister from a healthier perspective. Therefore, it is imperative that I live by some simple, (yet powerful) ways of planning family and ministry. We do this by picking a regular day to make a plan. For us, it’s Monday evenings. We have dinner together and look at our upcoming schedules. During this habitual planning time we are intentional about setting aside family time.

Here’s how we schedule what matters most:

(Continue reading the rest of this article over at youthministry.com by clicking here)