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Advice For A Veteran Youth Worker: Part 2

February 3, 2012 in Balance, healthy ministry, Leadership with 2 Comments

Our good friends at YM360 posted an article called When Is A Youth Minister Too Old To Be Effective? In this post and the previous one, we’ve provided advice for the veteran who has been asking that question, and provide them with practical steps to continue strong in ministry…

Advice for Veteran Youth Workers!

No matter how old you are or how long you’ve been in it, you are NOT obsolete or too old for youth ministry.  Never forget that.

  1. You are a ‘real’ pastor.  Don’t lose sight of that when people ask you ‘when you’re moving up the ladder’ or ‘becoming a real pastor.’
  2. Don’t get out of youth ministry because your body ‘can’t keep up with the kids anymore.’  Adapt.  Find new ways to connect with students – and find adult leaders who are ‘a little more spry’ to play basketball and run the lock-in.
  3. If you haven’t already, start your ‘why I do this’ folder.  I’ve been keeping one since my first student ministry – pictures, thank you notes, letters, graduation announcements – I keep it all….like a memory hoarder.  On days when it doesn’t seem worth it, I pull out those albums and spend some time letting the Holy Spirit remind me why I continue to do this.
  4. Find some hobbies outside of the youth ministry.  If you’ve been in youth ministry long enough to be considered ‘a veteran’, then you LOVE youth ministry.  Not in a newly infatuated date kind of way – but in a deep, abiding, agape kind of way.  Because of that, it can be easy to eat, drink, and sleep the student ministry that’s at your core…never turning off the youth ministry wheel whirring in your brain.  Find some things you like that help you unplug from student ministry – even if it’s just for a few hours.  It’ll keep your batteries recharged.

Embrace your call.  Don’t apologize for being a veteran – lean into your exceptional service.  Not many of us make it this far.  Enjoy it!

Advice For A Veteran Youth Worker: Part 1

February 2, 2012 in Balance, healthy ministry, Leadership with 7 Comments

Our good friends at YM360 posted an article called When Is A Youth Minister Too Old To Be Effective? In this post and the next, we’ll provide advice for the veteran who has been asking that question, and provide them with practical steps to continue strong in ministry…

I’m not sure at what point you get to be considered a  “veteran”  youth worker.   Perhaps it is the point at which you realize you don’t really “know anything.”  Instead,  the “wisdom”  you have to share are the mistakes you have made.   I think it is the point at which you come to  the epiphany that you just want to be the person Jesus wants you to be.  Out of your great love for him all you can do is serve him.  As I am now considered a “veteran,”  here is what I would share with other “vet” youth people.

1. Don’t be afraid of change. I love to tell the story of the little girl who is watching her Mom fry a chicken.   Her Mom buys a whole chicken,  cuts off the legs and the wings and throws them away.  She proceeds to only fry the chicken breast.   “Mom,”  she asks,  “Why do you throw out part of  the chicken?  Why do you fry it like that?”  Her Mom responds,  “Honey,  I don’t know that’s how your grandmother taught me to do it,  ask her.”  So the little girl goes to her grandmother with the same question. The grandma responds,  “I don’t know that’s how your great- grandma taught me to do it, ask her.”  So the little girls asks the great –grandmother the same question.  The great- grandmother responds,  “That’s easy,  when I first started frying chicken I didn’t have a skillet that was big enough to fry it all in.  It took too long to fry the other pieces later so I threw them out.”    Do you see?  Two generations later a Mom is teaching her daughter to fry the chicken ineffectively,  based on an old standard.  In our own ministries we have to constantly evaluate why we do what we do.  Does it still work?  Does the group of kids I have respond to this?  Can my team buy in?  We must be wiling to shift and change our approach based on the team, parents and students we have NOW.

2. Keep growing and learning. Last week I had a conversation with a mentor who is “farther along” in ministry than I am.    He challenged me,  “Leneita when was the last time you went to a conference just to go.  Not where you are teaching,  but just to meet people and learn.”  In contrast I spoke with a 40 year vet last week who told me that conferences can’t really teach him anything anymore.  It is easy to become sucked into a myopic view of our  ministry.   There comes a point when it feels like there is “nothing new under the sun.”   That might be true,  yet we must recognize that the old dog sometimes needs to learn a new trick.   Perhaps a book or  event simply brings encouragement.  Mentors keep us accountable.  Growth keeps us humble. Continue Reading…

Advice For A Newly Wed Youth Worker: Part 2

February 1, 2012 in Balance, healthy ministry, Marriage with 0 Comments

The conversation still lingers in my heart.  John and I were “getting serious.”  That’s when I got offered a job as a full-time, paid youth worker.   Up until this point I had been either bi-vocational or a volunteer.  I vividly recall telling him why I couldn’t “take the job.”  It was 60 hours a week at least and there was no way that would be good for us when we became newlyweds.   Yet, after praying and seeking the Lord (separate and together), it was clear that this was Christ’s plan, for us.   My world became immersed in youth, and I got “paid” to do it.  As a dating couple it wasn’t that hard to navigate.  Then we got married.  That first year in marriage we learned a lot about what it means to be “one flesh” and  to be a youth person.

1. You are both “called.” I highly recommend having an honest heart to heart about this before the wedding bells ever ring.  Yet, if you have already “said the vows,” you need to sit and talk this concept through.   I am not suggesting that the church got a “two for the price of one,” deal.   You will need to figure out how you will each serve and support  the  other in the actual day-to-day tasks of “ministry.”  Instead, this is a philosophical view.   When you do not have a heart that is united in backing the  “calling” a rift happens in your marriage.  It does not belong to one or the other of you, because ministry is never just a “job.” Continue Reading…

Advice For A Newly Wed Youth Worker: Part 1

January 31, 2012 in Balance, healthy ministry, Leadership, Marriage with 0 Comments

So You’ve Just Gotten Married!!

Congratulations!!  Enjoy the honeymoon – your literal one…and the lingering one as you return from your trip and begin the joyous process of learning to live together and love one another.

While you’re doing that, be on the alert.  Because you’re in youth ministry, you won’t just be learning to navigate the toilet paper rolls and toothpaste tubes around your house!

  1. Build some boundaries.  If you have been single in ministry, chances are your students and your church have become used to your availability.  And even if your spouse is ‘all in’ with the ministry, it’s important to incorporate some boundaries so you can enjoy learning to love one another and live together without the constant eye of ministry watching you.
  2. Spend as much time pouring into your spouse as you do (and have) your ministry.  God has blessed you with a ministry partner – but has also given you a new ministry field!  (And it’s one where your example will speak volumes to your students.)  Invest in your spouse – she/he is your first ministry now.
  3. Build relationships as a couple.  Youth ministry sucks a lot of attention and time.  It’s easy to throw yourselves into ministry with teenagers and never build friendships outside the youth ministry.  Consider getting involved in a couples small group or Bible study.  Your marriage will need identity (and friends) outside the youth ministry.

Enjoy being married!  God made you to serve Him together by serving one another first!

Advice For A New Youth Worker

January 25, 2012 in Balance, healthy ministry, Leadership with 7 Comments

In my previous post I talked about the advice I had recently given three students who were considering a career in youth ministry. (Check it out and add your advice to the comments too)! Today, I want to focus on the advice I give new youth workers who have been in the trenches for less than two years. There are many things I could cover in this post, but here are the essential things I choose to share. Maybe you could add some more to this list in the comments section?

First, it’s important to realize that youth ministry can be one of the most rewarding and exciting things to do! There are times when I pinch myself because I can’t believe I get paid to invest in students lives. However, having done this for a long time now, I have come to realize that the blessing of youth ministry can quickly feel like a curse if we do not build the right foundations as we start out…

Develop Healthy Spiritual Foundations Now: Starting out in our first ministry is exciting and daunting at the same time. It’s easy to get swept away in the ministry nuts and bolts and find yourself spiritually dry a year into things. Unfortunately, this can become the pattern for the rest of your ministry. Ensure that quiet times and bible study are the foundation to your ministry, not an add-on!

Determine To Be Teachable: I hate to even say this, but I meet so many young youth workers who think they know it all… (I was one of those youth workers a while back too…) A few years at college or a few years as an intern does not mean you have all the answers or have figured how the church needs to change for the better. One of the best qualities of any youth worker is the ability to always remain teachable and realize there is always more to learn. Even after nearly two decades in youth ministry, I realize I still have so much to learn… Unfortunately, I see many young youth workers constantly asserting their new-found knowledge in unhealthy ways in order to gain quick influence in their churches. Unfortunately, much of the time they come across as the arrogant “know it all” and actually don’t gain the influence they were hoping for… Continue Reading…

Too Busy To Breathe?

January 12, 2012 in Balance, Conferences, healthy ministry, Marriage, planning with 0 Comments

Have you had those seasons in ministry and life where you just don’t seem to get a time to breathe? The last few months for me have felt that way. Between a constant barrage of family sickness, more ministry “emergencies” than normal, as well as over extending myself in some areas, it has been a challenging couple of months. Maybe you can relate?

In seasons like this it’s time to breathe, time to learn, and time to look forward. 

TIME TO BREATHE: The last couple of months have been very busy, but it means everything to stop and be filled up instead of running on empty. The last two weeks I have had to be very intentional to calve out time to be alone, read God’s Word, and be silent. It’s not easy, but it’s essential. It’s challenging to slow down when there are so many things to get done and so many people to keep happy. However, hanging in the long-haul and being effective in the short-term depends on our dependence on God. We must be ruthless with our schedules and intentional about taking time to breathe with our Father.  Continue Reading…

The Long-Term View… Self Feeders (Revisited)

January 10, 2012 in healthy ministry with 6 Comments

“Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime…”

A while back, I talked about having a A Long-Term View of Student Ministry and focus on the critical areas of ministry that will lead to long-term life change. In ten years from now, what will the faith of our students look like because of what we (and their parents) do today? So often, it’s easy to get caught up with a short-term view that focuses on todays numbers or todays immediate challenges. Here’s the problem: When we live in the short-term, we often shortcut what students really need. Rather than helping them to become self-feeders, they learn to be spoon fed by what we give them in our ministries.

At the beginning of the new year I want to revisit some specific steps I am taking to help students become self-feeders in their faith walk. If I am honest, in the past, I have been too focused on creating an engaging message that will feed my students spiritually, and fail to realize that I am not helping them learn feed themselves. Are we helping students depend so much on our weekly message, yet they spiritually starve the rest of the week? How are we helping them to grow independently from our ministries?

1) Teach Them Self-Feeding Principles: At least once a year, (January or the start of the school year are good times for our ministry), devote a whole series to personal growth. Teach on Bible study, prayer, quiet times, giving, and serving. Feel free to add to this list, but you get the idea. We just began a series called “The Journey” that uses material from LIVE curriculum, (the series is called “Lifelong Faith” under the curriculum, we just created a different series name).

2) Show Them In Our Teaching Times: In our teaching times, we must ensure that we walk through some of the steps we took to gain understanding to a passage or topic. Students need to see that they could quite easily unpack a passage and find application from it. Too often students will not read the Bible when they think only “smart” people can do it. Walk them through the background to the passage, what it meant to the biblical audience, the theological principle, and application for us today. If you have limited knowledge in how to do this, and want to do some self-study, I recommend Grasping God’s Word by Duvall and Hays.

3) Have Them Lead it: In our small group times, instead of a master teacher telling them what the passage says or what they need to know, it’s important to give the ownership and discussion over to the students. Ask questions about a passage instead of making statements. Have key students lead the questions and have them prepare for the study / small group time beforehand. Support them as they lead and give them feedback afterward. This will take more work than if we do it ourselves, but the long-term results are worth it.

5) Give Resources To Continue Self Feeding: Whether it’s a monthly devotion or Bible study resource we give them to take home, it’s imperative we resource them to read God’s Word and pray at home. We use On Track Devotions and our students love them. They are cheap, but well done. Click here for info. 

6) Have Students Share Their Experiences: Anytime we have students share their testimony, we always ask them how they are growing in their faith and what ways they are self-feeding. It’s so important that students get to hear from their peers and what is working for them.

Well, there are some ways I am trying to help my students become self-feeders. How about you? What are you doing to help your students own their faith in greater ways? What is working for you? What tips could you share?

Phil <><

3 Healthy Ways to Start Your New Year in Ministry: Part 3

January 5, 2012 in Balance, healthy ministry, Leadership, Sexual Sin with 0 Comments

In my previous post I talked about the importance of throwing off the things that are hindering our lives and ministries. So often we fall back to the familiar instead of stepping back to survey what needs to change. It’s easy to depend on familiar programs, systems, or self reliance instead of depending on God to clearly direct.

Today, I want to continue to look at Hebrews 12: 1 as we look at the intense and challenging issues of being entangled by sin in our lives and ministries.

We Are All But One Step Away From A Fall: “…and the sin that so easily entangles” Hebrews 12:1

A True and Painful Story: A number of years ago, I remember walking across the parking lot into the church where I was the youth pastor. It was the day I was scheduled to preach, but it wouldn’t be any typical sermon… The Sunday before, we had announced to the church that our senior pastor had been forced to resign because he had committed adultery. It was tragic and horrendous for so many people who loved him, his family, and loved their church…  My sermon would be the first sermon following this deeply painful announcement… If I am honest, as I walked across the parking lot into the church, I was angered by this man and what he had done to so many people… It was at that point that God spoke to my heart very clearly. Instead of casting judgment, God show me how all of us in ministry are but one step away from becoming entangled by sin that will lead to destruction and pain.

Be Honest: Therefore, as we make our way into the new year, we should take an honest look at the repeat sins in our lives that have begun to entangle us. It’s crucial that we get help now, not later. It’s paramount that intentionally seek God and spend time with Him to find freedom from being entangled by sin… I have never met anyone in ministry who intentional wanted to fall to a moral failure or lose their position because of poor choices. However, I do know that sin can creep in very quickly and will easily entangle us if we are not careful…

Here’s three questions we should be asking: 

1) What sin is at work in our lives that will entangle us and eventually destroy our family and ministries?

2) Are we running from God or are we coming to Him honestly and openly with our struggles? We all preach it to students, but when was the last time we fell into the arms of our Savior in confession and repentance?

3) Who can help us and and hold us accountable in areas of struggle?

4) What spiritual habits need our attention to help release us from being entangled and keep our eyes fixed on Jesus?

What else would you add? What wisdom have you gleaned in these situations? What hope can you offer? Please feel free to comment. Let’s help each other.

Phil <><

 

3 Healthy Ways to Start Your New Year in Ministry: Part 2

January 4, 2012 in Balance, healthy ministry, Leadership, vision with 0 Comments

In my previous post I shared some insights from Hebrews 12 and the importance of realizing we are not alone in ministry. Often ministry can feel like we are isolated and it feels impossible to hang in for the long-term. Realizing the countless ministry heroes who have gone before us, as well as seeking out the veterans of today, goes a long way to help us stay encouraged when we have “those days.”

Today, I want to focus on a second healthy way to start out the new year in ministry:

Get Rid of Excess Baggage:  let us throw off everything that hinders… Hebrews 12:1

The Complex and Absurd of Ministry: One of the greatest challenges I see for youth workers is the natural tendency to allow our lives and ministry to be overly complex and absurdly busy. Many youth workers wear this badge with pride, and I have often been one of those people. However, as time goes by, I am seeing the foolishness in chasing after every opportunity and every latest trend.

The Hebrew Christians had begun to move away from their dependence on God’s grace through Jesus and had become increasingly focused on Jewish rituals, traditions, and backsliding to old habits. In many ways, I see a similar principle played out in ministry, and it is to the detriment of our personal walk with God, and ultimately the shepherding of students… We often depend too much on traditions, familiar ways, and our personal dependence on ourselves…

Here’s what I am considering this new year: 

Dependence on Programs, Systems, and Self! It’s easy to focus more on a program or system, than the power of God and His wisdom to guide us… It’s easy to get stuck in traditions and familiar ways of doing ministry instead of seeking God’s immediate best… It’s easy to depend on our own skills, work longer hours and become driven by certain results… In the long-term, they can squeeze out our dependence on God and His specific focus for our ministry… How much is my ministry defined by traditions, familiarity, and systems, rather than stepping back to seek God’s leading? 

Before you rush in to 2012 and fall back to the familiar, take some time to step back to survey what needs to be thrown out…

What are some of the things that are hindering you and your ministry?

Phil <><


3 Healthy Ways to Start Your New Year in Ministry: Part 1

January 3, 2012 in Conferences, healthy ministry, Leadership with 3 Comments

Happy New Year to you! I hope you have made a good start to your new year so far. As we enter into the 2012, I wanted to share 3 healthy ways to begin this new year. Recently, I have been reading through Hebrews and I have found some good reminders to help me (and you) stay healthy. Although, these healthy ways might be familiar to us, it’s always good to have reminders…

Realize you’re not alone: Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses… Hebrews 12:1a (NIV)

Many Have Gone Before Us: The context of this verse is referring to the martyrs who had gone before and were deemed to be heroes of the faith. Ministry is not a new thing and there are countless lives who bear witness to God’s faithfulness and His ability to work through the lives of ordinary people. There is hope that we can look forward to God using us in our good, bad, and indifferent times of ministry. The key is this: Do you want to be used to make a difference? If the answer is “yes”, we can be confident that God will do immeasurably more than we could ever ask or imagine when His power works through us…

Many Are Making An Impact Today: Not only have countless people gone before us and survived, we have many more ahead of us who are still doing brilliant in youth ministry. With stories of moral failure and challenging situations, it’s easy to focus on the negative.  However, we often fail to celebrate the incredible victories of those who are wildly passionate for their ministries and being used by God in powerful ways. I am blessed to know many veterans in ministry who are a great encouragement to me. They help me realize how God will work through me just as He has for them. Yes, there are many challenging stories too, but it’s imperative to have a long-term view and see how God is using others to make an eternal impact in ministry. Who are the veteran youth workers in your life who encourage and challenge you to stay the course? 

“Yes, but I am not one of those guys / gals!” - We might not be just like a veteran we look up to, but have you taken time lately to get alongside a veteran youth worker and ask them honest questions about their struggles, hurts, and failings? Have you heard their stories of hitting rock bottom and then seeing God pick them up and achieve great outcomes? Have you spent time discovering their authenticity and understanding how “normal” they are. So often we play the comparison game and think that God only uses “those” kinds of people. How are you taking time to get to know the authentic stories of veteran youth workers in your life? 

Often ministry can feel like we are isolated and it feels impossible to hang in for the long-term. Realizing the countless ministry heroes who have gone before us, as well as seeking out the veterans of today, goes a long way to help us stay encouraged when we have “those days.”

Phil <><

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