A few weeks ago my wife and I were at the National Youth Ministry Conference in Columbus Ohio. While I was there, I got the opportunity to ‘hijack’ Tim Schmoyer’s Life In Student Ministry camera… Me and my new buddy ‘Julio’ decided to talk about how we love our wives well in Ministry. Check it out and watch for the out takes at the end… funny stuff.
Tim Schmoyer hosts a GREAT blog! He has great insights and has lots of resources, tips, video blogs, and hosts a weekly Youth Ministry phone in… check it out!
Do you have those weeks where you put in a whole bunch of ‘extra’ hours in ministry? Let’s face it, what is ‘extra’? The fact is that there is always more to do. More emails, more calls, more meetings, more planning, more messages to write, etc.
Here’s how I define ‘extra’ in my life:
Extra for me is when I can see that my walk with God and my time with family has been stretched through the week. Extra is when I know I did not see my wife and little girl for more than a few hours each day for a two of three days in a row. For me that is how I gauge ‘extra’. I believe that there will always be more to do and my list can become endless if I am not careful. Whether you are single, married or your kids are out of the nest, you need to define for yourself what ‘extra’ looks like.
‘Extra’ over time becomes ‘extreme’. In other words, it’s ok to have those seasons where it is busy and there are maybe some big events and trips to work on. However, extra become extreme when our times with God and family are stretched over a few weeks or months. When the extra times turn into the extreme, we spend less time with God and more time managing on our own strength. When extra turns into the extreme we spend less time with family and friends and the ones we love feel cheated by ministry. This is why I try to ‘buy back’ these times.
For me, buying back time is about recognizing these seasons and embracing the busyness with a plan to spend good time with God and the family within that season. For example, I am in one of those seasons now. We are recruiting a new wave of volunteers and we are about to move into a new facility and change things up quite a bit. Therefore, after my last meeting at noon today, I intend to buy back time from my loaded schedule this week.
What does this look like? Simply put, it is about being intentional to spend time with God and my family this afternoon and this evening. I was intentional about blocking time out this week to do so. I have nothing planned for Saturday and my whole day is centered around time with the family.
This might not sound like rocket science, but I know how easy it is to justify working the whole day today and doing some more admin on Saturday morning. However, for me, it takes discipline to block out my schedule to ‘buy back’ what God and my family has ‘lost’ this week?
On a final note: Does this mean that I completely neglected God and my family this week? Nope… just been a little busier doing the ‘extra’ stuff and I want to make sure that the extra stuff over time does not become the ‘extreme’…
Every two weeks Lisa and I go out on a date night together and try to do something fun and different each time. Right now we are going out on ‘ABC’ dates (Check out: http://tinyurl.com/bhpjpr). Last night we took a few friends with us to watch my friend Josh play for the Detroit Ignition for our ‘I’ date.
Unfortunately the Ignition lost last night . The score was 15-7 as they went down to the Chicago Storm. Fun dates and creative ideas keep our marriage healthy and always give us lots to talk about. We are building some great memories too!
This book is a MUST read for lead pastors and every youth worker. The principles, research, and conclusions in this book have the ability to transform a cluttered and visionless ministry. Practical application of the simple church principles could move our ministries from a trajectory of burnout and help us hit the target of transformation in our ministries and personal lives…
Thom Rainer and Eric Geiger begin the book refering to the ‘simple revolution’ and the move of generations toward simplicity and solid ideas without clutter. The idea is this: Successful organizations are responding to a generation of people who strive to remove clutter and seek to quickly understand how to take a next step to buy a product or buy in to a program that is clearly defined. Gone are the days of the large menu approach from many boomer driven models that sought to provide as many options to cover all their basis… Gone are the days of churches trying to do everything for every single person, group or idea. In their research they found the following:
…simple churches are growing and vibrant. Churches with a simple process for reaching and maturing people are expanding the Kingdom… Conversely, complex churches are struggling and anemic…
The book walks through their extensive research while also giving examples of churches who follow a simple or complex model. As I read, I was struck by how so many churches try to provide so many ideas and programs that they end up have no identity.
A number of years ago, I remember being at a church where we went through the 40 days of purpose campaign. At the end of the campaign we had a ministry fair so that people could sign up to get plugged into a ministry. I remember someone commenting to me about how the church was amazing because of the 130+ ministries it provided… I began to count the weekly attendance and concluded that if EVERYONE served each week, that each ministry would have 8-10 people in it… Obviously that is not likely to happen in any church. However, I was disturbed by the fact that many of the same people served in multiple ministries… “How can that be a good thing?” I wondered. To this day, I am aware that the same church has had leadership struggles and lacks direction, and still has many programs and ministries… and ultimately has shrunk by about 50% or more… How is a large menu ministry effective?
If you see this in your church or ministry, take some time to read Simple Church and learn how you can find “Clarity, Movement, Alignment, and Focus”. Simple church is helping me narrow my focus and process how I move unchurched students into becoming sold out followers of Jesus. Simple church is helping my leaders and parents understand quickly and simply how our process works… When it’s simple and solid, people see the vision and know how to support it. When it’s simple and solid, students know what their next step is….
A few days ago I talked about the importance of building a youth ministry ‘fan base’. The premise is this: All of us in youth ministry will get through the honeymoon of ministry when those around us realize that we are not one of the Apostles (or even better, Jesus). Give us a year and we realize there are people in church who have concluded that our ministry is heading in the wrong direction. Or, you and I have made some mistakes that are very apparent and we have to make good of them. It’s at these times when we need gracious people who know us and our hearts. It’s in these times we need youth ministry fans…
So, how do you and I allow people at our churches to have a better perspective of our ministry and ultimately each of us as individuals? How do we ‘allow’ people to be more gracious with us, more than they were with the previous youth worker? It helps to be building a youth ministry fan base (See previous post, ‘How to Build a Youth Ministry Fan Base’)
First, I want to be clear that our goal should not to focus on trying to manipulate or become everyone ‘fake best friend’. What I am talking about is realizing that there are some healthy things we can do to supplement what we are trying to implement. Implementing our ideas without the supplement of ‘fan base building’ will become a detriment.
Here’s some further ideas:
1) Serve People in your Church. An effective way to build bridges and promote your wonderful students in your ministry is to be intentional about planning some service type events that bless people in your church. We try to do ‘Serve Team’ projects once a month which are aimed at blessing our community by showing God’s love in practical ways. At the same time, we try to find a few people in our church we can help or visit during that event. You will be surprized at how much the youth ministry will be promoted positively by those people inside and outside your church. Example: Before Christmas, we took our middle school kids Christmas carolling. We were inentional about going to some families at our church who needed the ‘blessing’ of middle school kids singing to them. I heard a lot of favorable comments from a number of people.
2) Look out for your Pastor. As youthworkers it is imperative that we ‘lead up’ by always having the back of our lead pastor and other ministry staff. When we are team players who cover our team and supports them, we will see the same support extended to us. Note: I have seen and been apart of teams where everyone is for themselves. It’s tempting to fall into the mold too… In these cases you will build trust with insecure team members and you might just change the environment. Whether or not we do see fruit from this… We must do it since it is the best and right thing to do.
3) Do jobs Outside of your Job Description from time to time. Again, so many larger churches, (and smaller ones too) can easily live in silos where we only care for our own area. I am learning that building a fan base, (as well as good friends in ministry), happens when I agree to do jobs or tasks that are outside of job description from time to time. Things like, helping out the kids ministry with a message, or helping to update the website for your church, or preaching once in a while to give your pastor a week off (I currently preach every 6-8 weeks). Or even things like ‘talking up’ other ministries and helping them recruit volunteers. Note: Be careful not to become the doormat who gets asked to do EVERYTHING, but, make sure you don’t live in a silo either!
Finally, and most importantly, be a God pleaser above all else…
Building a youth ministry fan base is important, but it can go very wrong if we do not start with pleasing God first. We might become people pleasers who stretch ourselves too far by being the doormat of church ministry. Make sure that you are sensible with your time and bridge building.
Any other ideas for building a youth ministry fan base?
Once any of us have been in a church for more than a year it becomes very apparent that the honeymoon is well and truly over. People are starting to discover that we have faults and failings. We’ve already stained the new carpet with paintball. Or we might have shown a video clip in church that had a cuss word in it. (Actually, I have never done that… I have tended to leave that to my lead pastor… he’s done that twice)!
The fact is, give it time and people get to see that you are not one of the Apostles and that you don’t stay awake 24 hours a day, and that you are not the answer they were looking for in a youthworker. It’s in these situations that you and I need to build what I call a ‘youth ministry fan base’.
A fan base is not an ego boost… The fan base are the people who have your back, who know you, who understand you vision, who see you and accept you for who you are. Our fan base will not only keep us encouraged, but will also keep us in healthy accountability. The fan base are the ones who speak for you at a church meeting or when a parent is concerned about you and their kids. The fan base can be the difference between short-lived ministry and a healthy long one. So how do I work on my ‘fan base’
1) Invest in the Leaders. Choose 4 or 5 influential people at your church, (in leadership or simply influential). Take them out for coffee and find out about them, ask them about their hopes and dreams for the church. Ask them how someone like you and I could do well there. Then, at the end of your time together, ask them if you can share your vision and dreams … (You will be surprised how your vision might be restated by someone like this at opportune time).
2) Invest in Parents. Parents need to be heard and need to know that we care. They need to know that we are reaffirming what they say at home to their kids. They only know we care if we take time out. On a typical evening you will see that I spend 50% of my time talking to parents at the end of the program. These conversations are valuable to understand families and their dynamics, but also to build trust with parents. Here’s the other upside… some of those parents become your leaders, event planners, and food providers too. Hopefully, they are blessed, but so are our ministries.
3) Invest through the Generations. At my last church we had quite a large number of shall we say, ‘older folks’ who seemed to struggle with teenagers. (I am sure your church has similar issues). However, I quickly learned that it was important to seek out a few influential pensioners who could become ‘youth ministry fans’. It was just a question of taking time to talk with them about what the students were up to and what issues these kids face today. It’s amazing to see the walls come down when you share stories of kids joys and challenges to older folks. You see, it’s a lot harder to judge when you heart is hurting for kids…
4) The ‘Up Front’ Strategy. Work with you pastor and leadership to be ‘up front’ as often as your schedule allows, even if it is for the announcements on Sunday, or helping with a kids message. Whatever way you can, it pays to let people see you. At my current church I preach every couple of months, (it used to be every 5-6 weeks), and I regularly do announcements. Even if I am not doing either, you will always see me on the door greeting people as they leave. Even if I don’t feel like I know everyone, I have found that people feel connected with me because I am up front a quite a lot. When people feel like they know you, it’s harder for them to be a critic. Be strategic about being up front.
Yesterday I talked about how easy it is to focus on how far we have to go instead of how far we have come in our ministries. It’s important that we understand and embrace the simple truth:
It takes TIME!
Today I want to add another dimension as to why we should expect it to take time. This understanding will also help us in our ministry plans and strategies…
It takes TIME:
To understand the Culture: Now, I am not talking about youth culture, I am talking about the culture of the church we are presently serving at. It takes time to know and understand how the church runs, the people of influence, the history of successes, and the history of failure. Just like any kind of culture, it’s important to understand the ideas and values of people at our churches. This takes time…
It’s very tempting to come into a church with a ministry mindset and plan and not consider the culture of the church. I believe missing this principle can make or break the health and success of a youth ministry. It is imperative that we acknowledge and understand the culture of the church and people we serve, instead of coming in with a plan and going straight to work.
Instead, initially, it is helpful to build on something that is existing and have some ‘visual successes’ that will build some excitement and investment from students, parents and leaders. However, this is a learning time for us to do some good things, but at the same time be working hard to understand the culture. Combine this with building trust by not changing too much at once, I believe this is a great time to build relationships and build a vault of culture understanding. This could make the difference.
When we have taken time to understand the culture, it helps us to:
1) Predict challenges of change and address them before you get there.
2) Select key people to carry a new vision.
3) Understand how slow/fast to move on certain ideas.
4) Keep our job? Yes, as crazy as it sounds. I have heard too many stories of youthworkers who have taken a great ministry plan into a church, but never succeeded because they did not listen to the culture first. I have heard of some youthworkers who go into a church and start with a clean slate and change everything. But, I believe this can only be done when the majority of people are ready for massive change. I have heard of this done only in a few situations.
Bottom line: It takes TIME to understand the culture of the church… It is important to understand it before we try to change it…
In the last few weeks I have been looking back and assessing our last year in youth ministry and looking forward and setting goals. It’s great to see how many new students we have reached and how many students have taken deeper steps in faith and service… Sound good? Can I be honest just for a minute?
I wonder if you are like me when it comes to these times of year? It’s easy to catch myself looking at what we have done, but still wishing we were further ahead… It’s easy to take side glances at other ministries and feel insufficiant because we are not able to do all they are doing… In quick moments, (only quick moments I am glad to say), it is easy to forget all the great things that God has given us, and focus on the areas of our ministry that could be doing better.
It’s in these moments you and I need to understand and embrace this fact:
It takes TIME…
To Build Trust: With the students you work with, the parents you partner with, and the leaders who lead with you. Even if you have come into a healthy sitution, people still need time to know who you are and what you stand for. If you are coming into a challenging environment it takes longer to build trust and our steps must be lighter.
It takes TIME
To Bring Clarity to the Vision: The reality is this: Even if we had a great plan and purpose in our last church, it might not work in the new place. Even if we feel like our plan is solid and easy to understand, we can’t assume that students, parents, and leaders are on board even after a couple of years. I believe that clarity comes easier when people have heard and seen a plan in action for at least a couple of years… Therefore, if you are building a ministry and adding components as you go, people might not yet have clarity since you are still building…
It takes TIME
To develop Leaders: It’s only after a few years that you can see the fruit of the investment of meeting with leaders and training them for ministry. It takes time to see which leaders are in for the long haul and who you can depend on to be your key players. In my ministry, I ask for a high level of committment and I have some incredible leaders. But, the truth is, it had takes time to get leaders to be self sufficient and have good chemistry with my vision and direction. This takes lots of coffee meetings, lunches, hang out times and training days.
It takes TIME
To build Relationships: We live in a shallow world where students ‘don’t care what you know, until they know that you care’. (I am sure you have heard that before). But let’s face it, students have adults coming in and out of their lives all the time and even if you are the most likeable guy or gal in the world, it’s going to take time for students to really let you into their world. A key to showing that you care is a commitment to consistency and longevity. It takes time…
Finally, if any of us take a look at other successful ministries around us, our first response must be, “Praise God for what He is doing there”. And second, “It must have taken TIME”.
This evening as I write this, it is -4 here in Southeast Michigan. (-20c to all my UK and metric readers). For the next few days it’s going to this cold and perhaps even colder. Coming from the UK, I must admit, I am still not used to this kind of weather… The thing I dislike the most, (apart from the bone chilling cold), is that I never know when I am drive on a patch of ice or even worse, walk on a patch of ice I didn’t see…
So, here’s my question… Do you ever have any ice patches in your ministry? Do you have times that catch you off guard and hurt you? Do you drive or walk in your ministry living in the fear of hitting ice again? Let me explain what I mean better…
Do have those moments in ministry when you wonder if it’s worth it? Do you have those moments when you feel like someone in your church had the inside scoop to your insecurity and went straight for the jugular? Do you ever have those moments when you are rethinking every word of your message after youth group and wondering if the kids ‘liked it’? Do you ever have moments when someone questions your ability to lead and it tears you apart?
If you have had those moments, you and I are quite similar… It’s been some of those moments that have made me question whether or not I should stay in ministry or not… I guess you know what I concluded )
Take some time to read part of an article written by Craig Groeschel from lifechurch.tv wrote today. The only way that I have concluded I can stay in ministry and be truly effective, is to be secure in Christ…
People are always watching. Many are full of grace. Many are full of judgment.
As a pastor’s family, you will be wise to prayerfully develop a deep sense of “security in Christ.”
When your kids are secure in Christ—peer pressure weakens. When your kids are not secure in Christ—peer pressure increases.
When you are secure in Christ, your need for human acceptance decreases. When you aren’t secure in Christ, rejection kills you.
When you are secure in Christ, you easily obey the voice of God. When you are not secure in Christ, you constantly fear the opinions of people.
The more God blesses your ministry, the more negative voices you’ll attract. Years ago I was stinging from some painfully false rumors that were circulating. God used Amy to build my security in Christ.
She asked me (already knowing the answer), “Are the rumors true?”
“No.”
Then she said with deep faith and assurance. “People’s opinion of us doesn’t change Gods’ opinion. Live for the opinion that matters.”
Every two weeks Lisa and I go out on a date night together and try to do something fun and different each time. Right now we are going out on ‘ABC’ dates (Check out: 
This book is a MUST read for lead pastors and every youth worker. The principles, research, and conclusions in this book have the ability to transform a cluttered and visionless ministry. Practical application of the simple church principles could move our ministries from a trajectory of burnout and help us hit the target of transformation in our ministries and personal lives…
Yesterday I talked about how easy it is to focus on how far we have to go instead of how far we have come in our ministries. It’s important that we understand and embrace the simple truth: 
In the last few weeks I have been looking back and assessing our last year in youth ministry and looking forward and setting goals. It’s great to see how many new students we have reached and how many students have taken deeper steps in faith and service… Sound good? Can I be honest just for a minute? 
)
