Advice for Veteran Youth Workers!

No matter how old you are or how long you’ve been in it, you are NOT obsolete or too old for youth ministry.  Never forget that.

1. You are a ‘real’ pastor.  Don’t lose sight of that when people ask you ‘when you’re moving up the ladder’ or ‘becoming a real pastor.’
2. Don’t get out of youth ministry because your body ‘can’t keep up with the kids anymore.’  Adapt.  Find new ways to connect with students – and find adult leaders who are ‘a little more spry’ to play basketball and run the lock-in.
3. If you haven’t already, start your ‘why I do this’ folder.  I’ve been keeping one since my first student ministry – pictures, thank you notes, letters, graduation announcements – I keep it all….like a memory hoarder.  On days when it doesn’t seem worth it, I pull out those albums and spend some time letting the Holy Spirit remind me why I continue to do this.
4. Find some hobbies outside of the youth ministry.  If you’ve been in youth ministry long enough to be considered ‘a veteran’, then you LOVE youth ministry.  Not in a newly infatuated date kind of way – but in a deep, abiding, agape kind of way.  Because of that, it can be easy to eat, drink, and sleep the student ministry that’s at your core…never turning off the youth ministry wheel whirring in your brain.  Find some things you like that help you unplug from student ministry – even if it’s just for a few hours.  It’ll keep your batteries recharged.

Embrace your call.  Don’t apologize for being a veteran – lean into your exceptional service.  Not many of us make it this far.  Enjoy it!

I’m not sure at what point you get to be considered a  “veteran”  youth worker.   Perhaps it is the point at which you realize you don’t really “know anything.”  Instead,  the “wisdom”  you have to share are the mistakes you have made.   I think it is the point at which you come to  the epiphany that you just want to be the person Jesus wants you to be.  Out of your great love for him all you can do is serve him.  As I am now considered a “veteran,”  here is what I would share with other “vet” youth people.

1. Don’t be afraid of change. I love to tell the story of the little girl who is watching her Mom fry a chicken.   Her Mom buys a whole chicken,  cuts off the legs and the wings and throws them away.  She proceeds to only fry the chicken breast.   “Mom,”  she asks,  “Why do you throw out part of  the chicken?  Why do you fry it like that?”  Her Mom responds,  “Honey,  I don’t know that’s how your grandmother taught me to do it,  ask her.”  So the little girl goes to her grandmother with the same question. The grandma responds,  “I don’t know that’s how your great- grandma taught me to do it, ask her.”  So the little girls asks the great –grandmother the same question.  The great- grandmother responds,  “That’s easy,  when I first started frying chicken I didn’t have a skillet that was big enough to fry it all in.  It took too long to fry the other pieces later so I threw them out.”    Do you see?  Two generations later a Mom is teaching her daughter to fry the chicken ineffectively,  based on an old standard.  In our own ministries we have to constantly evaluate why we do what we do.  Does it still work?  Does the group of kids I have respond to this?  Can my team buy in?  We must be wiling to shift and change our approach based on the team, parents and students we have NOW.

2. Keep growing and learning. Last week I had a conversation with a mentor who is “farther along” in ministry than I am.    He challenged me,  “Leneita when was the last time you went to a conference just to go.  Not where you are teaching,  but just to meet people and learn.”  In contrast I spoke with a 40 year vet last week who told me that conferences can’t really teach him anything anymore.  It is easy to become sucked into a myopic view of our  ministry.   There comes a point when it feels like there is “nothing new under the sun.”   That might be true,  yet we must recognize that the old dog sometimes needs to learn a new trick.   Perhaps a book or  event simply brings encouragement.  Mentors keep us accountable.  Growth keeps us humble.

3. Know when you are “called out.” There may come a point when the Lord is tugging at your heart to do “something else,” for and with him.  I once was told,  “It’s easy to hear the call into ministry, but too many times we ignore the Lord’s voice when he is calling us out.”  Be lead out before you are burnt out.   If you feel like your frustrations consistently outweigh your joys  in ministry it is time to seek Christ.  Does he need to readjust your heart?  Do you need to be doing “this” but somewhere else?  Does he have something entirely different for you to do?

4. Keep the Main thing, the Main thing. Yes a no brainer,  but I still think it is important to say.   We must avoid getting so caught up in the “polish” of ministry that we forget  “Who” wants our lives.

5. Redefine success. Too often we get to a certain “point” in ministry and we think that ministry should look a certain way.  I mean we have been doing this for X number of years so we should have something to show for it?   So what we do is try to reproduce models of ministry that we deem successful.  The Lord gave you a vision for the next generation.  We can take elements from other people- but we weren’t meant to mirror them.  The Lord gave  YOU a call.  When you are obedient to that out of a love for him,  that is success.

Finally,  I just want to say thanks.  The longer I stick it out as a “youth worker”  the less I have on this road that are ahead of me.  I heard the average  worker lasts about 18 months.   If you are veteran,  thanks.  I need some friends on the road with me.

What advice has helped you? 

Leneita

1. You are both “called.” I highly recommend having an honest heart to heart about this before the wedding bells ever ring.  Yet, if you have already “said the vows,” you need to sit and talk this concept through.   I am not suggesting that the church got a “two for the price of one,” deal.   You will need to figure out how you will each serve and support  the  other in the actual day-to-day tasks of “ministry.”  Instead, this is a philosophical view.   When you do not have a heart that is united in backing the  “calling” a rift happens in your marriage.  It does not belong to one or the other of you, because ministry is never just a “job.”

2. Learn to communicate. A mentor told me once, “Communication is not what you say,  it’s what the other person hears.”   I repeat this often to others.   This means that you as a couple need to make sure that you are learning to communicate about everything from boundaries, to schedules, to vision for your lives.   Make time DAILY to communicate with each other face to face.   Sit and really talk about everything, make sure the other person is hearing you.  Make sure you are listening to what your spouse is saying.  This does not mean merely sharing, facts, but ensuring there is mutual understanding and investment.

3. Make Jesus the Center. Of what you ask?  Yes.  Is the answer.   Be intentional to take the time to make Christ the focus of your personal life.  Then make sure you are taking the time intentionally make him the center of your marriage. Then make sure he is the center of your ministry.   Before anything you “do,” your relationship is most important.  We have all heard that the cord of three strands is not easily broken.  However, when we are not focusing on him to be that middle thread, we unravel.   We all “mean well,” to not be too busy or distracted.  However, Satan wants to render us ineffective.    He wants to devour our marriage and us.   Individually and together take the time to pray, read the Word and worship.  Do these things daily, make it part of your “schedule.”  Building your marriage on the rock and keeping it there, is what gets us through the storms of life.

Most importantly, don’t ever forget to enjoy each other!  The Lord gave you a traveling companion on this narrow road with him.   The road is rarely easy.  However, it is a joy to have someone to share it with.  Learn each other, take time to foster this relationship (deliberately) and just fall deeper in love every day.  You stood in front of each other on that wedding day and thought, “How could I possibly love them more?”  Then with each passing year you get to turn around and watch it grow deeper and richer.   This is regardless of your “ministry status.”

Leneita

So You’ve Just Gotten Married!!

Congratulations!!  Enjoy the honeymoon – your literal one…and the lingering one as you return from your trip and begin the joyous process of learning to live together and love one another.

While you’re doing that, be on the alert.  Because you’re in youth ministry, you won’t just be learning to navigate the toilet paper rolls and toothpaste tubes around your house!

1. Build some boundaries.  If you have been single in ministry, chances are your students and your church have become used to your availability.  And even if your spouse is ‘all in’ with the ministry, it’s important to incorporate some boundaries so you can enjoy learning to love one another and live together without the constant eye of ministry watching you.
2. Spend as much time pouring into your spouse as you do (and have) your ministry.  God has blessed you with a ministry partner – but has also given you a new ministry field!  (And it’s one where your example will speak volumes to your students.)  Invest in your spouse – she/he is your first ministry now.
3. Build relationships as a couple.  Youth ministry sucks a lot of attention and time.  It’s easy to throw yourselves into ministry with teenagers and never build friendships outside the youth ministry.  Consider getting involved in a couples small group or Bible study.  Your marriage will need identity (and friends) outside the youth ministry.

Enjoy being married!  God made you to serve Him together by serving one another first!

First, it’s important to realize that youth ministry can be one of the most rewarding and exciting things to do! There are times when I pinch myself because I can’t believe I get paid to invest in students lives. However, having done this for a long time now, I have come to realize that the blessing of youth ministry can quickly feel like a curse if we do not build the right foundations as we start out…

Develop Healthy Spiritual Foundations Now: Starting out in our first ministry is exciting and daunting at the same time. It’s easy to get swept away in the ministry nuts and bolts and find yourself spiritually dry a year into things. Unfortunately, this can become the pattern for the rest of your ministry. Ensure that quiet times and bible study are the foundation to your ministry, not an add-on!

Determine To Be Teachable: I hate to even say this, but I meet so many young youth workers who think they know it all… (I was one of those youth workers a while back too…) A few years at college or a few years as an intern does not mean you have all the answers or have figured how the church needs to change for the better. One of the best qualities of any youth worker is the ability to always remain teachable and realize there is always more to learn. Even after nearly two decades in youth ministry, I realize I still have so much to learn… Unfortunately, I see many young youth workers constantly asserting their new-found knowledge in unhealthy ways in order to gain quick influence in their churches. Unfortunately, much of the time they come across as the arrogant “know it all” and actually don’t gain the influence they were hoping for…

Discover The Art Of Listening: This goes along with being teachable, but is more specific for the church and the students you work with. Every church is different and every youth ministry has its own flavor and feel. It’s imperative that we learn to listen to the people first to understand their heart, their dreams, and their struggles. Too often it’s easy to take our ideas and agendas into a new church without considering whether they will fit within the culture. Listen to the people, pray for a plan, and THEN implement ideas. It is when we LISTEN that we will gain influence in our churches… 

Don’t Be Surprised When You Face Challenges: One of the biggest surprises I see new youth workers facing is just how challenging youth ministry can be. As a student it looked easy, as a volunteer it looked fun and rewarding, but being in charge is not always the case… Working with students and families will always be messy, challenging, and sometimes very frustrating. However, our dependence on God and our hard work partnering with Him will bring great reward too.

Depend On Mentors And Ministry Friends: This is essential! There will be those challenging times when we need the support and encouragement. If you do not have a mentor and do not have a network of ministry friends, it’s going to be harder to do life and ministry alone. I have had a mentor for nearly 10 years now who himself has been in full-time ministry for nearly 30 years. He is not at my church but does understand ministry well. I have shared my most exciting and my most challenging times with him. His outside perspective and his wisdom has been a game changer for me! Make it a priority to surround yourself with a healthy support team!

Don’t Do Lock-Ins! They Might Just Finish You Off! Just kidding… but, I think there are some of you who might agree with this statement!

What would you add to this list? What is essential for a new youth worker to know? What advice would you give? 

Phil <><

In seasons like this it’s time to breathe, time to learn, and time to look forward. 

TIME TO BREATHE: The last couple of months have been very busy, but it means everything to stop and be filled up instead of running on empty. The last two weeks I have had to be very intentional to calve out time to be alone, read God’s Word, and be silent. It’s not easy, but it’s essential. It’s challenging to slow down when there are so many things to get done and so many people to keep happy. However, hanging in the long-haul and being effective in the short-term depends on our dependence on God. We must be ruthless with our schedules and intentional about taking time to breathe with our Father. 

TIME TO LEARN: As I take time to breathe, I am able to look back and learn from the last couple of months.  I realize there are a lot of things out of my control, but there were many things I have learned from my busy season:

- I have said “yes” to too many projects and people. It’s important to come back to a narrowed focus and challenge myself to “major in the majors, and minor in the minors…”

- No matter how much came up, it was important to change up my schedule to support my family. Even when stuff was piling up, I made sure my family did not get my left-overs…

- I need more sleep! Going to bed earlier in the last week has helped me become more efficient, more focused, and more excited about my day? Do you need more sleep?

- I need to exercise more! Working out helps me feel better and more energized. When life gets busy, my health takes a back seat… This needs to stop. The past week has been full of healthy eating and exercise. It is helping my energy levels and productivity and thus I am getting more done in less time…

A TIME TO LOOK FORWARD: Anytime I am in the midst of chaos and busy schedules, it’s important that I slow down, but it’s important that I look forward to ensure the coming months are different. Here’s what I have been doing:

- Getting the family schedule mapped out for the next few months and making family and date nights a priority. Last weekend my wife and I went out for a date and then went to Starbucks to put our calendars together…

- Planning and booking our 10 year wedding anniversary getaway!

- Getting excited about The Simply Youth Ministry Conference in March! Are you going? I am super excited. The theme: Breathe

- Planning time off after our winter retreat…

These are just a few things I have been convinced I need to do to hang in for the long-haul, be more effective today, and enjoy my life a little more? What have you had to do in your life and ministry to stay healthy?

Phil <><

In my previous post I talked about the importance of throwing off the things that are hindering our lives and ministries. So often we fall back to the familiar instead of stepping back to survey what needs to change. It’s easy to depend on familiar programs, systems, or self reliance instead of depending on God to clearly direct.

Today, I want to continue to look at Hebrews 12: 1 as we look at the intense and challenging issues of being entangled by sin in our lives and ministries.

We Are All But One Step Away From A Fall: “…and the sin that so easily entangles” Hebrews 12:1

A True and Painful Story: A number of years ago, I remember walking across the parking lot into the church where I was the youth pastor. It was the day I was scheduled to preach, but it wouldn’t be any typical sermon… The Sunday before, we had announced to the church that our senior pastor had been forced to resign because he had committed adultery. It was tragic and horrendous for so many people who loved him, his family, and loved their church…  My sermon would be the first sermon following this deeply painful announcement… If I am honest, as I walked across the parking lot into the church, I was angered by this man and what he had done to so many people… It was at that point that God spoke to my heart very clearly. Instead of casting judgment, God show me how all of us in ministry are but one step away from becoming entangled by sin that will lead to destruction and pain.

Be Honest: Therefore, as we make our way into the new year, we should take an honest look at the repeat sins in our lives that have begun to entangle us. It’s crucial that we get help now, not later. It’s paramount that intentionally seek God and spend time with Him to find freedom from being entangled by sin… I have never met anyone in ministry who intentional wanted to fall to a moral failure or lose their position because of poor choices. However, I do know that sin can creep in very quickly and will easily entangle us if we are not careful…

Here’s three questions we should be asking: 

1) What sin is at work in our lives that will entangle us and eventually destroy our family and ministries?

2) Are we running from God or are we coming to Him honestly and openly with our struggles? We all preach it to students, but when was the last time we fell into the arms of our Savior in confession and repentance?

3) Who can help us and and hold us accountable in areas of struggle?

4) What spiritual habits need our attention to help release us from being entangled and keep our eyes fixed on Jesus?

What else would you add? What wisdom have you gleaned in these situations? What hope can you offer? Please feel free to comment. Let’s help each other.

Phil <><

In my previous post I shared some insights from Hebrews 12 and the importance of realizing we are not alone in ministry. Often ministry can feel like we are isolated and it feels impossible to hang in for the long-term. Realizing the countless ministry heroes who have gone before us, as well as seeking out the veterans of today, goes a long way to help us stay encouraged when we have “those days.”

Today, I want to focus on a second healthy way to start out the new year in ministry:

Get Rid of Excess Baggage:  let us throw off everything that hinders… Hebrews 12:1

The Complex and Absurd of Ministry: One of the greatest challenges I see for youth workers is the natural tendency to allow our lives and ministry to be overly complex and absurdly busy. Many youth workers wear this badge with pride, and I have often been one of those people. However, as time goes by, I am seeing the foolishness in chasing after every opportunity and every latest trend.

The Hebrew Christians had begun to move away from their dependence on God’s grace through Jesus and had become increasingly focused on Jewish rituals, traditions, and backsliding to old habits. In many ways, I see a similar principle played out in ministry, and it is to the detriment of our personal walk with God, and ultimately the shepherding of students… We often depend too much on traditions, familiar ways, and our personal dependence on ourselves…

Here’s what I am considering this new year: 

Dependence on Programs, Systems, and Self! It’s easy to focus more on a program or system, than the power of God and His wisdom to guide us… It’s easy to get stuck in traditions and familiar ways of doing ministry instead of seeking God’s immediate best… It’s easy to depend on our own skills, work longer hours and become driven by certain results… In the long-term, they can squeeze out our dependence on God and His specific focus for our ministry… How much is my ministry defined by traditions, familiarity, and systems, rather than stepping back to seek God’s leading? 

Before you rush in to 2012 and fall back to the familiar, take some time to step back to survey what needs to be thrown out…

What are some of the things that are hindering you and your ministry?

Phil <><

Sadly, the most common reason that I have seen volunteers cease to work with students is not their lack of passion and calling –  it is rate of burnout and being tired out…

In my previous post I talked about the importance of protecting volunteers in general. Today I want to focus on one area I mentioned briefly:

How can I help protect my volunteers from burnout and exhaustion?

1. Create a Healthy Ministry Schedule: Asking most volunteers to serve on a weekly basis is already a challenge for many in their busy lives. For many parent volunteers in particular, making youth group once a week and staying in contact with their small group is a big deal. Therefore I try to commit to scheduling our ministry with healthy breaks and bear in mind my volunteers schedules. a) During Christmas break we do not meet. b) We do not meet for Spring Break. c) Summer is changed up significantly and we have a “come if you can” policy. We need significantly less leaders with our summer schedule, so this works for us. c) We schedule events in a way that they are spread out significantly.  We would rather do a few ‘big” events well, rather than many “poor” events that can tire out volunteers (and students).

2. Insist That Family Comes First: This often can take a while to sink in for my volunteers. Again and again I need to remind them that ministry needs to be a win for their family. Anytime they call me to miss a program or event because of family, I insist that “family always comes first…” In their minds they are often feeling guilty for “calling in”, but it’s my job to affirm healthy family. I have also found that when I take this approach with my volunteers, it actually creates greater loyalty since they I know care about them and their family first. It’s not just about “getting ministry done…”

3.  Model Healthy Boundaries Myself: It’s important that I set the example for healthy boundaries first. Leaders are looking to us for more than just direction in how to minister to students. They need an example of healthy boundaries in a world that tells us to keep running fast until we fall. Ultimately, our students will see us and leaders as their model for what is healthy too. What kind of example are we setting them?

4. Give Them Grace To Miss When They Really Need To: Every year leaders hear from me about the importance of a consistent commitment and being regular at the programs. However, I also emphasize that if they really need to miss anytime, they just need to let me know and I will be fully supportive of them. I just ask they give me as much notice as possible. Sometimes this is not possible due to emergencies. It is during these phone calls that we need to clothe our words with grace and support and not only consider the “loss” of the leader not being able to attend. It’s interesting to see how God provides for our ministry as we look to take care of the volunteers first. We have had weeks when we are a little short, but when I care for volunteers first, God always provides enough…

5. Challenge Them To Pursue Personal Growth: This should be a given, but sadly we often focus on the “business” of youth ministry and forget to challenge our volunteers to grow deeper in their relationship with God. In my one on one meetings and in many volunteer meetings I try to emphasize the importance of ministering from a deep well of personal growth. Although this is number 5 on my list, I encourage you to make it number one on your personal list as well as your volunteers… Burnout happens most when we are running on empty and trying to do it in our own strength… Burnout happens when our faith walk becomes a crawl…

What ways do you protect your volunteers from burnout? What can we do to ensure that our volunteers hang in for the long haul and keep impacting students for eternity?

Phil <><

For me recently, I have been evaluating my teaching and programs and I am concluding that some of our teaching isn’t essential. It’s good yes, but essential, no. Given that my total teaching time with my high school students will be around about 50-60 hours per year, I must be ruthless in getting rid of teaching that could be good, but not essential when all is said and done. I am must work equally hard in adding material that is essential to the specific group of students I am working with. Here’s what I can do to ensure that I am hitting the most important and applicable areas:

1) ESSENTIAL AREAS OF TEACHING: Write down the top ten areas that every student in your program needs to know by the time they graduate or “move up”. Look at what you teach in a 3-5 year period and make sure these top-ten areas are included first. This process should take a few months to come up with as you prayerfully consider these areas.

2) ESSENTIAL BIBLE BOOKS: Write down the most essential books of the Bible that you need to cover in a 3-5 year period and map out a provisional a plan. Be sure to have a balance in Old Testament / New Testament material.

3) BALANCED PROGRAMS: Create a clear balance of programs that “fire fight” the issues students are facing as well as environments that help students to “fire prevent” by teaching foundational theology and doctrine. For us, we have two weekly meetings. One is topical and mostly issue related (I call this “fire fighting”), while the other is clearly foundational faith building (I call this “fire preventing”).

4) ASK STUDENTS: Every few months, ask them what issues they and their friends are facing and create a “moving plan” that will hit the felt needs of the students. When we hit their issues and felt needs, they usually will learn more. These messages are presented in our midweek program that tackles topical issues in students lives. I survey my students once a year and I ask them every few months what areas / issues / topics they need to learn about.

5) ASK YOURSELF: Are you simply following a curriculum plan that someone else created for you, or whether you are giving your students the essentials that is specific to your group of students?

6) INVOLVE OTHERS: As noted above, I ask students continuously, but it’s essential to gain the insight and opinions of other youth workers in your ministry. Ask God to speak through the people who are working with your specific group of students and evaluate what you need to change and tweak. It’s imperative that we realize that we need to create a custom program for our specific group of students and not rely on someone else’s research that worked for their ministry in a different context. Too often we rely on curriculum and a scope and sequence that worked somewhere else, but maybe not for us. With all this said, I do you use curriculum regularly, but I tend to pick and choose what I feel we need for my group and dismiss what is not needed…

A hard question I must ask you today is this: Are you simply going through the motions of using a canned curriculum, or are you really seeking to create a custom program that is best for your specific context, environment, and students God has called you to minister to?

Finally, feel free to share any ideas as to how you create a balanced program with essential teaching?

Phil <><