Our good friends at YM360 posted an article called When Is A Youth Minister Too Old To Be Effective? In this post and the next, we’ll provide advice for the veteran who has been asking that question, and provide them with practical steps to continue strong in ministry…
I’m not sure at what point you get to be considered a “veteran” youth worker. Perhaps it is the point at which you realize you don’t really “know anything.” Instead, the “wisdom” you have to share are the mistakes you have made. I think it is the point at which you come to the epiphany that you just want to be the person Jesus wants you to be. Out of your great love for him all you can do is serve him. As I am now considered a “veteran,” here is what I would share with other “vet” youth people.
1. Don’t be afraid of change. I love to tell the story of the little girl who is watching her Mom fry a chicken. Her Mom buys a whole chicken, cuts off the legs and the wings and throws them away. She proceeds to only fry the chicken breast. “Mom,” she asks, “Why do you throw out part of the chicken? Why do you fry it like that?” Her Mom responds, “Honey, I don’t know that’s how your grandmother taught me to do it, ask her.” So the little girl goes to her grandmother with the same question. The grandma responds, “I don’t know that’s how your great- grandma taught me to do it, ask her.” So the little girls asks the great –grandmother the same question. The great- grandmother responds, “That’s easy, when I first started frying chicken I didn’t have a skillet that was big enough to fry it all in. It took too long to fry the other pieces later so I threw them out.” Do you see? Two generations later a Mom is teaching her daughter to fry the chicken ineffectively, based on an old standard. In our own ministries we have to constantly evaluate why we do what we do. Does it still work? Does the group of kids I have respond to this? Can my team buy in? We must be wiling to shift and change our approach based on the team, parents and students we have NOW.
2. Keep growing and learning. Last week I had a conversation with a mentor who is “farther along” in ministry than I am. He challenged me, “Leneita when was the last time you went to a conference just to go. Not where you are teaching, but just to meet people and learn.” In contrast I spoke with a 40 year vet last week who told me that conferences can’t really teach him anything anymore. It is easy to become sucked into a myopic view of our ministry. There comes a point when it feels like there is “nothing new under the sun.” That might be true, yet we must recognize that the old dog sometimes needs to learn a new trick. Perhaps a book or event simply brings encouragement. Mentors keep us accountable. Growth keeps us humble.
3. Know when you are “called out.” There may come a point when the Lord is tugging at your heart to do “something else,” for and with him. I once was told, “It’s easy to hear the call into ministry, but too many times we ignore the Lord’s voice when he is calling us out.” Be lead out before you are burnt out. If you feel like your frustrations consistently outweigh your joys in ministry it is time to seek Christ. Does he need to readjust your heart? Do you need to be doing “this” but somewhere else? Does he have something entirely different for you to do?
4. Keep the Main thing, the Main thing. Yes a no brainer, but I still think it is important to say. We must avoid getting so caught up in the “polish” of ministry that we forget “Who” wants our lives.
5. Redefine success. Too often we get to a certain “point” in ministry and we think that ministry should look a certain way. I mean we have been doing this for X number of years so we should have something to show for it? So what we do is try to reproduce models of ministry that we deem successful. The Lord gave you a vision for the next generation. We can take elements from other people- but we weren’t meant to mirror them. The Lord gave YOU a call. When you are obedient to that out of a love for him, that is success.
Finally, I just want to say thanks. The longer I stick it out as a “youth worker” the less I have on this road that are ahead of me. I heard the average worker lasts about 18 months. If you are veteran, thanks. I need some friends on the road with me.
What advice has helped you?
Leneita
Great response, Leneita! And Phil, thanks for hosting it. Love the practical advice here. Good stuff!
Thanks Andy! Leneita is a veteran of nearly 20 years in youth ministry. Tomorrow Darren will be posting his thoughts on this too. He is a veteran of 20 years too… These to wise people are a little “older” than myself and therefore can speak more to the veteran issues
Haha!
Phil <
Andy- I loved the article the other day. I do feel like I have more to offer than I did at 20 when I started “doing this.” I am glad that the Lord keeps me at it…
Leneita,
Thanks for the thoughts. It’s a excellent article, and I love the humility and wisdom that comes through. When you talk about “called out”, I wonder if we should consider what we are being called to? I don’t mean in that “bigger is better” sense of moving to the other, greener side of the fence. It’s the opposite I think. I believe we are often asked to move on when things are good. The healthiest transitions are those when we have a ministry that is obediently following God’s plans, and in that time move to the next challenge He has for us. I’m afraid we often see conflict/struggle/mess as a sign from God to go. I don’t think you are advocating that. I just think it’s often seen that way. When we stay through the conflict humbly, and build into the kingdom, we can move on with peace and health. I’d love to hear your thoughts.
Thanks again for a great article!
Jason,
I agree. I often will say, “What is the Lord leading us to.” not “What is he leading us from.” Think about it in terms of the Israelites. It was more about them being led TO the Promised land than being led FROM Egypt. Yes the Lord freed them, but he had been telling them since Abraham that this was the plan. We forget that conflict is healthy and not bad it grows us. However, I do think in those times of struggle we need to go to the Lord and say, “What do you want?” I have been in situations where the Lord needed to change my own heart and we were told to stay. You are so right Jason that every difficult situation is not a “sign” to leave. I think what I was advocating more was to use those times to really press into the Lord and see what he is asking of you. We were in a situation once that after really getting closer to the Lord we saw it was time to leave. Yet, I will say it was a two year process of looking to the Lord. What happened through that time was that the bitterness in our hearts towards the conflict went away. We readjusted where we were spiritually. However, we then saw that our philosophy of ministry no longer aligned with our leadership’s vision. Therefore, it was time to leave. It wasn’t bad, it was just different. Yet, even that we waited for the Lord to show us where he wanted us. It was much less about the leaving and much more about the going. But, yes first steps are making sure that you are not leaving out of anger or bitterness. Then you are just bringing your same baggage somewhere new. For EVERY PLACE has challenges. As a friend of mine says, “The grass is always greener where there is more manure.” So if we think the change will “fix” everything we are mistaken,
Leneita,
I hope one day we get to meet somewhere, because already I can tell we have a lot in common. I fully believed this is what you were describing in your writing. Your reply is excellent. I agree 100%, and love the heart I see and hear in it. As you’ve counseled younger leaders, I know you’ve seen them look for any reason to jump ship. I appreciate you taking the time to further clarify your intent for your readers. Great job! Have a great day!
Thanks Jason- Don’t know if you’ll be at SYMC?? But I’ll be there! I would love to meet you! Thanks so much!