Making Parent Meetings Worthwhile: Part 1

For many of us, we are already in full swing of the Fall season. Programs are getting kicked off, students are back in school, and schedules have launched into hyper speed!

One particular group of people who are stretched and stressed are the parents of the students we work with. As a result of the crazy season, it is easy for them to overlook or forget about everything we do in our student ministries. Therefore, it’s imperative we do two things: First, don’t take their lack of understanding of our programs personally… They are just very busy. Second, it is crucial that we do everything to partner with them and help them understand the who, why, what, when, and how of our youth ministries.

Here’s what I do: 

1) Create a Parent Meeting at Least a Month into the Fall: I used to get frustrated by poor turnout when I scheduled meetings either at the end of the summer, or right at the beginning of the Fall. Instead, I look for a late September / early October meeting. A later meeting with a larger number is better than an early meeting with only a few showing up… And, promote the snot out of your meeting… I’m even considering giving away Starbucks gift cards to get them there… (It sure would work for me…)

2) Connect Them with Each Other: When we have our meetings, I try to find ways to connect parents with each other. Whether it is a small ice-breaker or asking them to talk to one or two others at the front end of the meeting, it is crucial. The parents at our meetings could well become some of the best support for each other over the school year. When parents begin to share their stories with each other, they realize they are not alone. This is crucial!

3) Connect Them to Serve in the Ministry: Use the meeting as an opportunity to sign-up parents for anything and everything! (Obviously, it has to be something you can actually give them to do). When parents find a place to serve and belong, they develop a healthy ownership of the ministry. Whether it is bringing snacks, phone calls, administration, or helping with large events, use the meeting as a way to get them involved. By including them in serving them become owners of our ministries. We want to move parents from being onlookers to owners of what is happening… 

4) Cast Vision: Just like students, many of our parents come from different churches and backgrounds and therefore have lots of opinions on what our youth ministries could look like. It’s important that we cast vision in a clear and compelling way that will get parents excited about what God is doing.

5) Share Your Heart: This is not the same as casting vision… This is the time where we lay our passions, hopes, and dreams out there for them to see and hear. Parents are looking for a good vision and plan for their kids, but they also want to know that the leader is passionately committed to go the extra mile for their kids. This is a particularly challenging step for young leaders, since it means making ourselves vulnerable and exposed. However, my experience tells me that parents will go the extra mile for us when they see our hearts and hear our overflowing passion for their kids.

Next post: More tips to make parent meetings worthwhile, including partnering with parents, and follow up after the meeting…
Phil <><
  • brian aaby

    Great thoughts here. Simple reminders; I’ll pass this post on to the youth pastor networks I am a part of, we need to see youth leaders better connected to the families they are serving and serving with!

  • Josh Hearrin

    I serve in a smaller church in a small town where 20-25% of my students parents attend church. The rest are unchurched. How would a parent meeting work in this setting. I have not had success with any type of parent meeting in 6 years.

  • Jeremy Smith


    Great list of ideas! I love the vision casting and encouraging the parents with community of other parents.

    The one thing I would add to this list is equipping your parents during this meeting. This may be your only interaction with them ever. Let them know how you can serve them. Maybe you have a “parents only” small group or have Parents forum to answer questions they may have.

  • Phil Bell

    @Brian, thanks! Glad to help others reach families and parents more effectively. Thanks for sharing!
    @Josh, lookout for a post later in the week. I hope we can answer your question…
    @Jeremy, I agree, equipping parents is crucial. I actually try to schedule these equipping times as a separate event / seminar for parents. Our church does some great things for parents including classes on Biblical and practical parenting.

  • Phil Bell

    @Josh – Just for you, and a number of other youth workers in your situation, we are posting two posts next week on this very subject. Why and how to reach out to unchurched parents. Be looking for it mate!