youthwork TALKTalk about youth ministry and life…

Names of Legacy:

Consider all these important and influential people: John Powell, Patrick Horgan, Tim Lee, Kate Dean, Rupert DeSalis, Chris White, Chris Knowles, Larry & Shirley Morris, Paul Williams, Julian and Kathy Hardy, Sam Cowell. Do you know these names? Probably not… (Unless you know me well)…

You see, these people have all played a part in my life leaving a legacy and ultimately have been instrumental in shaping many ideas, thoughts, and foundations of who I am today. Of course, there are writers and speakers who shaped my thinking, but these people I named are the ones who not only shared their faith and the gospel with me, but they shared their lives as well.

Currently I am the Simply Youth Ministry Conference in Chicago with 2500 other youth workers from all around the country and the world. The theme for this conference is “Surprising Legacy” and the idea (and the reality) of how our lives in student ministry are leaving a surprising legacy with the people we minister to on a weekly basis.

If you are like me, it’s often difficult to see what impact I am having on young people. I certainly don’t consider myself as someone who is having a profound impact on students’ lives. If your experience is like mine, students are not always forthcoming in their praise for what I do or what I teach. Teenagers do appreciate what we do, but we don’t always hear it or see it do we? To some degree, this is what makes our legacy surprising… Whether or not we know it now or in many years to come, we are all leaving a legacy with students…

In the last few years I have been contacting youth leaders and adults who were in my life when I was a younger and thanking them for what they did for me when I was younger. As I have tracked them down and talked with them it has helped me to see what it was these leaders did to make such an impact in my life. It’s been so helpful to consider what they did and consider what I do today to make a lasting difference too.

In ministry it is often very easy to get caught up in programs, events and the latest thing and forget what truly matters as we minister to students. As I consider the surprising legacy I am leaving, it is so helpful that I look back and remind myself what influential leaders did in my life to help find faith, grow in faith and be equipped for my faith journey. It is when I look back like this that I am to see what my ministry today needs to be like to make sure I am leaving a lasting and healthy legacy with students.

What could our ministries look like if we could live out what has been modeled to us by other influential Godly adults in our lives growing up? What did they do that so changed the course of our lives? What did they do to help us grow deeper? What did they do to encourage in times of struggle? What did you and I see in them when we were looking for direction?

What legacy are we leaving as we look back to the legacy that has been left with us? What do YOU remember about the Godly adults in your life growing up? How could you model that today in your ministry?

As some of my friends know (and noticeably by the lack of my blogging recently), I have been transitioning into a new ministry position at a church family here in Michigan as Pastor to High School and College Students. Making the change was challenging and required a lot of prayer, but I am very thankful for God’s clear leading. However, it is always painful leaving students and families who I have been deeply invested in. I am glad I haven’t made too many moves in ministry. Longevity is always better if it possible in ministry.

I have been in my new position for nearly a month now and I am “finding my feet” one step at a time… As I look at what is ahead and what I have been doing, I find it very helpful to keep the most important priorities in focus as I begin this new ministry position:

1) Building Relationships will take time and it’s important to take time to build them… Not rocket science, but it is something that can easily get overlooked on a daily basis. Coming into an established student ministry means there are lots of tasks that need to get done and attended to. It’s also easy to get caught up in being overly concerned with what I call “speaking performance” and investing too mush time in trying to “knock the ball out the park” with my first few messages. Of course, people are looking and hoping I am going to do a great job, but ultimately, it is solid God centered relationships which will make the biggest difference over time. Students will get more out of my messages if they know I genuinely care about them… This will only happen if I spend time investing in them from day one. I think students are perceptive enough to know if I am there to “look good” speaking or if my heart is for them…

2) Listening First Changes Later: It is easy to come in to a new ministry and see quickly what needs to change and bring ideas from previous experience. However, I have found that it is more important to ask questions about what has been before me. In doing so I get to hear the “what and why” behind existing programs and strategies. Not only does it help me understand the culture better, it helps to see if certain ideas and programs have a deep investment from the students and leaders. It is a mistake to to devalue or knock down something that has a deep investment. Listening comes first, changes later…

3) Meeting Parents is Key: Although our job title usually centers our attention on students, it is imperative we understand the importance and impact of ministering the whole family. Given that we usually have a few hours with each student and parents have a whole lot more, we must see the importance of meeting with and investing in parent relationships. In addition, there are many parents who are understandably nervous about t me. “Who is this guy? What will he be teaching? Is he going to invest in my student or be flaky? Does he communicate with parents or will I be in the dark again? Is he British or Australian?”  (I get that one a lot since I am from the UK with a lot of Americanisms in my accent). Parents have good reasons to be nervous, so it’s important to give them a good opportunity to put their fears to rest…

4) Start today what can be continued tomorrow: I am a big believer in this practice. Even though I would like to come in and make a “wow” impact, I have to ask myself if I am able to sustain the pace / events/ programs I come in with. I think it is important to try to make a positive impact, but if I burn myself out trying to keep pace in weeks to come, ultimately the students pay for it. Instead, I believe it is better to stay focused on a few but foundational objectives coming in, but ensure I can build from there…

Well, those are my initial thoughts for now. Right now myself and my family are in the midst of painting and staging our house to sell. It has been a very busy season changing ministries and getting ready to move house, but God always gives just enough.

At the end of February I am headed to the Simply Youth Ministry Conference in Chicago. As someone who is in full-time student ministry I believe in the importance of not only incredible training, but also the opportunity to grow individually. This conference allows me to get both. At SYMC I am able to gain some great skills as well as build community with all kinds of youth workers in an authentic and intentionally conversation way. Check it out for yourself and watch the video from Doug Fields to capture the heart of SYMC…

Register for SYMC (click here)

Below is a video that captures the heart and message of SYMC 2010.

Some of my youth ministry friends have been asking why there has been a lack of blog posts in the last two months. If you visit the site often you might have the same question too. Well, here is the simple answer: Time…or more to the point: Time and parenting…

As some of you know we have a 3 year old (Emma) and a 5 month old (Addie). Unfortunately, as many parents experience, we have had a baby who has had colic and is still waking every few hours, (we never had this with our first… I think the Lord knew what we could handle with our first kid)… In recent months we have tried to sleep and make family and ministry work as best as possible and try to keep our schedules simple and free from ‘extra stuff’ (Blogging is extra stuff for me).

In many ways, student ministry is a huge blessing when it comes being creative with scheduling. I am thankful that I can ‘buy’ time in my schedule and ‘pay back’ time later in the day or week. I am thankful to be able to do this and know that I am still able to give ministry a good account. Most of all, I am thankful that I can still make family and ministry a priority in this sleep deprived season… blogging gets a back seat

One of the things I have been encouraged by (and would like to encourage you with) is this: Sometimes, I hear youth pastors complaining about their schedules and wishing they would be different. But the question I will often ask is, “what job can you do where you get have this kind of flexibility to adjust your schedule when life throws a curve ball at you”? Sure there are a few occupations that allow this, but would you enjoy it? As long as you and I are giving God and our churches / organizations a good account with our time, it is a real blessing to be able to “flex” the schedule when we need to…

I hope to blog some in the next few weeks with a few ideas and thoughts I have… Hope you are having a great week and getting a chance to pause too…

This video has been making the rounds on facebook. Here’s what it made me consider…

There’s often been a lot of debate between youth ministry guru’s wondering if we spend too much time entertaining students and not enough energy goes into teaching Biblical truth.

In this video, the experiment was to see how much more people would walk up the stairs (and ultimately exercise more), if they created a fun way to do it. Normally people would likely take the escalator and take the ‘lazy route’ instead. Isn’t that human nature for so many of us?

Well, I think that it is not that different when it comes to spiritual exercise. So many of us (and especially busy students), will often will try take the easy route in discipleship. As we know, there are no short cuts to discipleship… However, what happens when you and I take time to research great lessons and incorporate fun and creative ways to communicate Biblical truths? Do we see students take good steps in their faith?

If you are like me, I want students to be excited about Jesus and excited about growing in a deeper relationship. It’s important that I find ways to help students take the best steps in their faithwalk. Sometimes I need to pray and think harder about how to make those steps fun while also partnering with the Holy Spirit to see lives transformed…

To simply say that any fun element is shallow in youth ministry neglects the need to engage and excite students with the truth of the gospel. I believe that creativity and fun should be core values in every youth ministry to help students take ‘healthy steps’…

Final Thought:

If you are like me, it is easy to spend a lot of time on content or an idea. There have also been times when I have spent too much time on a fun element and my message / study has been lacking. It’s important that we strike a good balance between creating solid material that will be engaging with fun elements too.

Phil <><

Today on Twitter Rick Warren gave a quote that I think every youth worker should take to heart and consider…

Never waste energy trying to be well-known. Today’s hero is tomorrow’s zero. U work on character & leave reputation to Him…

Many people hold fast to the sad reality that many youth workers will leave ministry all together because of burn out. I believe that burn out itself can be avoided if we build a foundation in are own lives that is centered on the power of God and building healthy character. Let’s be real honest for a minute about the world youth ministry shall we?

It’s easy to play the hero isn’t it?

It’s easy to want to be the hero isn’t it?

• We have students who look up to us who think that we somehow have a different connection with God altogether…
• Some of us love ministry because students make great followers and it feels good to have people look up to us…
  
• We have parents who are working as hard as they can to help their kids succeed, but see us as ‘answer’ sometimes… When we do well for them, we can elevate ourselves to hero status…
• We go to youth ministry conferences and it’s easy to look at the guys and gals on stage and consider them as a hero in youth ministry…
• Sometimes in the trenches we grind out a week and do our best for God, but yet secretly hope that we have been noticed by someone important… Am I right?

The Problem: When you and I constantly long for hero status in ministry, it is easy to make decisions that over time can easily lead to burn out… We say yes to be the hero and say no to staple foundations that will help us hang in for the long haul…We search for the hero status and lose sight of our walk with God. We strive for the recognition while we are unable to recognize when we are being unhealthy with our schedules… And the worst thing I think: We lead students to follow unhealthy habits that could be huge stumbling blocks for them now and later…

I have learned some of these tough lessons at times and I have seen some good friends burn out and fall because of the hero focus. I want to be honest enough to uncover the ‘hero shortcuts’ to ministry. However…

When We allow God’s Power to Build our Character:

1) We have Clearer Vision for a Health Ministry

2) We are not Swayed by the ‘Latest Thing’

3) We  give the Glory to God, not ourselves

4) We Lead Students to Follow Jesus, not the Hero

5) We Hang in the Long Haul…

This week, I encourage you to ask God to show you how you are motivated to make your decisions? Are Secure in who you are or are you being the hero? Are confident in the character God has given you? Do you need Him to lead your decisions better?

Bottom Line: Are you and I Heroes in ministry or do we have Christ-centered character?

Phil <><

Last week I talked about “Listening” as being a key to healthy and successful ministry. This week I want to looked at an area of youth ministry which should be a given, but I often feel is greatly overlooked: Ownership…

Ever hear leaders say, “Sometimes it is easier to do it yourself”? In student ministry, I think it is ALWAYS easier to do it yourself. And as leaders of ministries, that is often exactly what we do don’t we? Things get done, events get planned, programs run smoothly… But is that a good thing?

While we might be running an organized and well executed ministry, I think it is better to run a ministry that has potential to have, “holes all over the place” if it means we are giving students ownership of what is happening. In the short-term it can be messy, but in the long-term, there is a greater reward for the students we minister to…

1) Students Belong: The greatest need I see in every student  is the sense that they belong somewhere or to something. Giving them a sense of ownership and walking alongside them builds confidence, allows them to learn in safe way, and most of all, they feel like they belong. If students don’t feel the sense of ownership through belonging, I have seen that one or two things can happen. First, they might not stick around… Second, they will quickly become spectators instead of owners. Spectators can often turn into critics…

2) Students Become Long-Term Leaders: I am convinced that the likelihood of students being committed to a church (and having a strong faith), after high school is hugely dependent on how they learn to lead while they are in our ministries. It is imperative that they not only discover their gifts, but they are able to put them into action in a safe environment of a student ministry. More than that, it is imperative that students find avenues to lead and contribute to the overall church and minister alongside all kinds of people. If however, students only ever serve within a student ministry, is it any wonder that the transition from high school into ‘regular church’ is tough? Therefore, it’s important that students lead and serve in our ministries as well as with people in ‘big church’ that they might not normally come into contact with…

3) Ownership Builds Numerical Growth: I will never forget reading about Billy Graham’s incredible ability to predict the turn out of one of his huge gatherings back in the 80’s. People were amazed at how he could accurately predict how many people would come to an event. When asked how he could know, (thinking that maybe God had spoken to him personally), he shared his simple formula: First, he  found out how many people were involved with the planning and production of the event. Second, he would multiply that number by a figure he had come up with through years of observing attendance. The greater the people involved, the greater the number attending. In other words, the greater the number having ownership, the greater of people who will come…

Note: While numerical growth is not the goal, it certainly will become the fruit of having a healthy ministry that builds ownership into it’s DNA.

Therefore, not only is ownership crucial for helping students to belong and become, they are also used to build the ministry they are in… The hope is that new students would plug in and find faith and the same sense of ownership.

My next step is to ’steal’ a series idea from Josh Griffin (morethandodgeball.com), where he has students lead a whole message series called, “You Own the Weekend”. This is a great way to build ownership for students. Check out Josh’s blog for how he does this…

Phil <><

Last night I met with a group of my high school students at the local Panera Bread to hang-out, talk, and…. listen.

If you are like me, it’s so easy to get bogged down with planning, message writing, and meetings. It’s easy to become task driven and focus less on just ‘being’ with students. Last night I was truly blessed to be around a group of students who are excited about God, are excited to see their friends being reached, and excited about growing deeper in their faith. Last night was a time to listen to their hearts, their ideas and their hopes. Here’s what was impressed upon my heart from our time together…

1) We Discover the Real Issues Students Face:

Students foundational adolescent issues tend to not change too much in that they still desire Identity, Autonomy and Affinity. (Marko in Youth Ministry 3.0). However, when as, Chap Clark puts it, we “sit on the steps” that lead up to student culture, we get great insights to students current issues and needs. Last night was one of those nights for me as I discovered so many things that I was unaware of or had not considered. As I look forward with my teaching, planning and implementation, I am able to focus my energies to support students in areas that they truly need .

2) We move from Colonialism to being  a Missionary:

In his book Youth Ministry 3.0, Mark Oestreicher talks about the importance of seeing ourselves as a missionary. In other words, seeing ourselves as someone who is foreign to a culture and comes in and listens to the locals and understands them first. Coming from England, I am all too aware of British colonialism in the world where the Brits went in to foreign lands and insisted that the locals follow the British customs and cultural nuances. What happened? The Brits got kicked out! Now, I hope you and I don’t get kicked out of our churches or ministries, but it’s important to consider if we are only imparting our own set of agendas and ideas on students. Are we ‘colonizing’ or being a missionary to these students.

Now bear with me for a minute as I say this. I am aware that there are many things that students do not yet see in their lives that are imperative to know and live by. I am aware that students ‘felt needs’ are not always what they really do need… However, they are less likely to listen to us unless they know that we have taken time to listen to them first…

3) We give Ownership to Students:

This was huge for me last night. As I sat and listened to students talk about what they are seeing in our ministry and what they are excited about, they were owning the ministry with their words and their plans for the future. As they talked, they got lit up with ideas and dreams -  they began to take ownership. When students can put the ministry vision into their own words, it is better that a well-crafted vision statement in any student ministry.

4) We Hear Honesty

“Phil, you give great messages, but when one of us can back up what you are saying and can be involved in your message, it has a greater impact”. That was my takeaway last night, among other things. It can be hard to hear that kind of stuff can’t it? But, when we listen long enough, students can feel like they can communicate their true thoughts with you. Ultimately, it will lead to creating a better and more effective ministry. My ego might take a hit, but who is more important here?

5) We Send the most Important Message:

I think the most important factor for me was that they heard the most important message last night. “I care about you guys. You are important and you can make a huge difference”. I didn’t say it with words, I communicated it through listening…In coming weeks, when you and I stand in front of students with a message or study for them, I am convinced they will hear better when they know that we care deeply and have their best interests at heart.

So this next few weeks, I encourage you to hang out, have fun…. and listen.

Hi Everyone, it’s been a while since I posted anything if you follow youthworktalk regularly. I do apologize for my lack of words in recent weeks.

I have unofficially been taking the end of the summer to spend some extra time with the family and get used to being a dad to number two (Addie, born on July 7th – I was afraid this Englishman would have to deal with one of his kids being born on that rebellious day, also know as July 4th – just kidding).

In addition to having a newborn in the Bell household, it has been a challenging season in many other ways. It has been good to be at home and take time to catch up and rest up at times. However, here we are well into September and the Fall is truly underway with a yearly tradition for me and some friends:

Every year, the pastors from our church are invited out for a free day of golf that is put on by a local funeral home as a way to support pastors and give them a fun day as the Fall gets kicked off. In fact, one of the directors from the funeral home attends our church and always allows us an extra couple of players to join us from our church. It’s always a fun day filled with lots of bad golf shots and constant pranks. It’s always a ’scramble’ game, so we never really take it too seriously… especially since we’re not that good… We affectionately call this golf outing ‘The Undertaker Open’

So, last Monday two sets of foursomes from our church headed out for a great day of golf… First the pastors and the then another four from our leadership team at church… These guys had been playing pranks on us all day long… It was great to get them back by unstrapping their golf bags from their carts and watching them fall off the back of the cart at the 14th tee!!!   We celebrated, high fived, did some embarrassing celebration dance and took our tee shots quickly… they were following closely behind us… In our haste, our best shot ended up on the left side of the fairway behind a tree that had roots sticking up all over the place. Not the best place for a second shot… But a ’safer’ place behind a tree from the guys who kept yelling “FORE” as they pretended to hit golf balls our way… It was my turn to swing… this is where it gets blurry…

It was a long shot from a hard piece of ground with lots of tree roots close to my ball. I knew I had to hit the ball with great accuracy and great power. All day I had been making some good shots and I was confident I could get my team ‘out of the woods’… or so I thought… I came through the ball with as much swing and power as I could and in a split second…. BAM, CRACK, OUCH!!!  The ball left my club, hit a tree root three feet in front of me and came back and hit me straight in the mouth… or more accurately… in the teeth. I instantly felt one tooth break off and blood started to pour… Time slowed down and and my pastor friends around were talking in deep slow voices… I ended up at urgent care and the dentist and I was so bummed that I missed the wonderful free lunch!

The damage in the end was painful, but I count myself blessed that the golf ball didn’t do more damage. I ended up losing a tooth, a ‘hole’ in my face where another tooth came through, and some teeth that needed realigning. I got stitched up, and some minor dental surgery. At the end of the day, I am British, and I guess it’s ok to have some bad teeth isn’t it?

So, where is the youth ministry in this post you might ask? Well, here you go:

Following my injury, I have been out of action for a good part of this week and unable to do my normal youth ministry schedule.  However, I have witnessed countless emails and received a number of phone calls from incredible youth leaders who are carrying the ministry as I recover. As soon as they heard the news, they stepped into action and saw to it that all the major components of what we do are covered.  Here’s what I have learned this week:

1) Friendship is Key: I have great friends who I get to do ministry with.

2) Investing is Key: Investing in leaders and student leaders is imperative. Not only do they do a great job at what they do, they feel ownership and excitement.

3) Step Back to Let Others Lead: It’s important to get this youth ministry to a place where leaders lead and the youth pastor can connect authentically with students. For our large group program my two goal is to be able to connect authentically with as many students as I can, and to give transformational messages. These two things only happen when I have taken time to invest, equip and empower leaders to lead the programs we have created. Being forced out of the details of the program this week was a good test for everyone. It shows how important it is for me to intentionally create opportunities for my leaders to step forward to do what they do best?

Hope your Fall is having a great start and I encourage you to move your golf balls away from tree roots when you have a shot to play…

Phil <><

Now Discover Your Strengths – Buckingam and Clifton

A while back I read: Go Put Your Strengths to Work by Marcus Buckingham and I was fascinated and captured by the idea of what he calls ‘The Strengths Revolution’. I came to realize that he had laid the groundwork in a prior book,  Now, Discover Your Strengths. This book has been a long time coming for me and has sat in my ‘books to read’ pile for a while… I wish had read this sooner… It’s been out a while, but if you have not read this, you should add it to your book list

In this book, Buckingham addresses the premise behind ‘The Strengths Revolution’, which is this: Rather than focusing on bettering ourselves in our weaker areas of work / ministry, we should discover the our strongest areas and learn to build and capitalize on them, (while also learning to ‘manage around our weaknesses’). Too many of us have learned to focus on the areas we are not good at, rather than building on our strengths. Buckingham maintains that we will have greater impact and fulfillment when we work from our strengths and not our weaknesses.

Sounds simple? Why wouldn’t we be living this out already? This seems a very basic concept, right? However, in my ministry, I have often been inclined to focus on getting better at an area I am weak in. Or I try to be stronger in an area I see in someone I admire who is in ministry.

Let’s be honest for minute… How many of us see a Speaker at a conference, or know a prolific youthworker and wish we could communicate and write like them? How many of us try to mimic the style and strengths they have? How many of us lacking administration strengths try to be ultra organized in all we do, but no matter how hard we try, it just never seems to happen. How many hours have we spent focused on our weaknesses while our best talents and skills get placed on the back burner?

This book is a MUST read for all in youth ministry if we desire to highly effective. It is a must read if we desire to be confident and at peace with who we are. It is a must read if we want to understand others around us and how to effectively help them work from their strengths

The book itself comes with an online ’strengths finder profile’ for each reader to take, as well as a definition and breakdown of the strengths areas after you take it. This has been valuable to me as I confirm and rediscover who I am and where my focus needs to be. The book also gives many examples of professionals with different strengths and how they managed to harness their strengths and accomplish greater things. These examples were extremely helpful for me as I related to the characters stories.

All in all, a great read and I strongly encourage you to pick up a copy and talk it through with a friend or ministry partner. It’s been a wonderful process as I have been defining my strengths with greater clarity. Maybe you can get the same result?

Phil <><